Why label Christians judgmental just because they do not support your cause?

Every one in life is entitled to their choices. God gave each of us that right. Society through human rights has also given us same right.

Nonetheless, you will find that in any human setting, even in the animal kingdom, we all can never agree on one thing, or follow the same path. This is simply because we are all different. Yes, we are all different and so will always disagree; there will always be differences in society, including people who will always form majority and others in minority. Even science keeps talking about mutations, and I don’t know if that can simply be explained as “variations from the norm”. The norms do change too, even if rarely, bringing up new differences or variants to deal with.

Similarly, I believe as human beings, we all have our different experiences of life and hence, our different opinions. Whether we feel something is right or wrong, we are entitled to share our opinion about whatever affects our life and the ultimate wellbeing of society. The same society we live in, I believe, wants us to share our opinion freely without being labelled hateful just because another set of people do not see our reason, or agree with our stance. However, it is always important to realize that where one person’s right ends, another person’s begin.

I believe we can all appreciate the fact that even where there is love (like in marriage), there still exists disagreements brought on by our natural differences. However, the fact that you disagree with your partner (or share different opinions, likes and dislikes) does not necessarily mean you are hateful! Does it? Even married people have different sexual preferences. Some like doggy sex, others don’t; some like oral sex, others you can never get to agree to oral sex. There are people in marriage whose only sexual preference is missionary style, any other style is unnatural to them and can never change their preference for a million dollars. The sexual preference differences is endless in marriages, but does it simply culminate in hate? You will be amazed at people’s views and stance about the simple subject of sex, even in Christian marriages.

We all exercise the right to be different or be heard, irrespective of our backgrounds, cultures, religious stances, sexual orientations, etc. However, when you find yourself in the minority and want something to be accepted in any setting, you stand on a point/foundation (whether religious, social, biological, humanitarian, etc) to push your argument through. You don’t do that yet deny someone else the right to present opposing argument. We see that always in parliaments and various settings. Even at our workplaces, when you feel you are being overlooked by your bosses or want to push a different idea or practice from the norm, you won’t just be embraced without having to push through your argument.

So, must the expression of disapproval for any act or action always be labeled as HATE? Where do we really draw the line, to not always attempt to equate disapproval to hate?

I identify as Christian yet do not HATE anybody who identifies otherwise or engages in anything unchristian; neither do I take away their right to freely speak of that which they believe in or hold as true. Even among us Christians, we disagree on a number of things but that doesn’t mean we HATE or are JUDGEMENTAL of others.

I will really appreciate it so much if people stop labeling Christians whose opinion differ from a certain group as JUDGEMENTAL and HATEFUL people anytime they share an opinion that someone else disagrees with. You know why? That’s because, funny enough, whilst trying to condemn Christians, you are in essence being judgemental towards them…sometimes without even realizing it; the same thing you’re trying to avoid. See the circle? Right!

This applies to every topical issue in life, including the ever sensitive LGBTQI+ discourse gaining momentum in all parts of the world.

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©Mark Gadogbe, 2021

Love Sometimes Gets Messy

Love is a good thing; people make it messy.
Be careful the kind of advice you give to people in love or blinded by love…for good or for bad. Some people are not wise enough to read between the lines when you offer advice.

Someone once told me “when two lovers fight in a toxic relationship and you advice one to leave the other, the next time they have make-up sex and re-establish their bond, the mess will be on you, because the one you advised will surely tell the other you proposed that they break up”.

Yes, it happens all the time. That’s how unwise love makes some people.
So, it is always best to avoid rubbing your mouth into people’s love affairs, and be especially wise even when they invite you themselves into it!

We all get tangled in that web sometimes and you just don’t know what to say or not to say.
It’s not our fault though; love sometimes just gets so unavoidably messy! 😊

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©Mark Gadogbe, 2021

Featured Image Source: https://instagram.com/carlosdanielart?igshid=1kgw0qogzpaj7

Remove the labels!

You may have had some negative things spoken about you lately or throughout your life, but you must know this:

YOU ARE NOT WHAT PEOPLE LABEL YOU…YOU ARE WHAT GOD LABELS YOU!! HE ALONE MUST HAVE THE FINAL SAY!!!

So quit believing those things…and put on your new found label in Christ. And begin telling yourself all the good stuff: I am beautiful, caring, intelligent, the best… (the list is endless!).

Say it TODAY! Do not remain what people think and say that you are. There’s never a great time to break free from all that negativity than everyday. Everyday is the right time! So, make a conscious effort everyday to cast off all those cloaks of negative labels!

See you at the top!

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©Mark Gadogbe, 2021

Stop lying to yourself

This new year, I hope that part of our resolutions would be to stop living a lie in our marriages and relationships just to keep or save face. If your marriage/relationship is not good or healthy, it’s just not good. Face that ‘shit’ and deal with it!

Stop all that “playing religious” just to hide the garbage in your marriage. It’s not good for your health. If you die in it, we’ll bury you anyways. There is so much to live for, and a whole lot not worth dying for. A lot of marriages only look good on the outside because we keep playing the game of religious pretense, deceiving our own selves.

I hope you do not realize too late to save yourself from a bad and toxic marriage or relationship this new year, before it kills you.

Cheers to a happy and healthy 2021! 💪🏽

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©Mark Gadogbe, 2021

Featured image credit: https://instagram.com/serwaaamihere?igshid=kyrilkeealxj

Christmas

Christmas is here again and for some, it’s just one of those festivals… that great time for wild partying, boozing and doing all the worldly fun stuff.

Fun is healthy and good for the soul, and it’s worth remembering, connecting and celebrating with family and friends. And Christmas offers a perfect time to.
But, Jesus Christ would want us not to just get caught up in all the merry making and wild partying.
He would want us to also take a moment and remember the man of the season, our Jesus, our Saviour.
Reflect we must, about His love, and the fact that He wasn’t only born, but He died too; then think about His place in our life and what value He holds in our life. But, why do all these?

“People don’t remember, let alone celebrate something of no value”.

To celebrate Christmas should surely mean that Christ must have some very important value as someone who ever lived (and still lives) and has impacted lives positively. He must have left remarkable footprints in our hearts to merit remembrance and celebration.
He must therefore take glory in our joyful celebrations, and we must lift Him high like a banner that flies across every land, so all men will see and know that He alone is Christ our Saviour, the risen Lord, the soon coming King, and the only true way and promise to heaven!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!
May our celebrations glorify God as we spread love and happiness this season.

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©Mark Gadogbe, 2020

Featured image source: https://instagram.com/iamamamcbrown?igshid=b1e0cit2ttwx

Public Opinions

Sometimes in life, when you seek too many opinions from people, you never get to make any bold decision! And most times too, when you need others’ opinion, you never get it until after a decision is made and then their “expert opinions” on your decision (actions) come flying in torrents. “Oh, you should have done it like this or that, or you should have gone this other way”, etc., will always be the feedback from your critics, who funny enough, just sit and wait to offer their criticism only after an action is taken.

The spirit of unhealthy criticism seems to have gotten into many of us, and all we know and do lately, is turn ourselves into “social commentators” who just sit and talk (commenting) all day on other people’s life choices, especially all over the media platforms. Whenever news gets into our ears or our social media feeds, of people around us who are striving in life and daily putting themselves out there to make ends meet – often on the back of many critical personal decisions – we quickly zoom into our default criticism mode and make unwholesome comments about them. If only we are putting in the works ourselves, that could be cool, but no, we always forget we have so many decisions to make about our own lives that we ourselves are not even courageous enough to make. Sadly, instead of lifting people up with inspiring opinions, we instead specialize only in pointing out other’s faults, denigrating them or hating on them. This is becoming the growing trend with this new generation of ours, especially on social media platforms.

This unwholesome trend is making social media no longer fun for a lot of people. It is no longer a place for the faint hearted, but those who can grow the toughest skin to all manner of criticism, abuse or cyber bully. It is now a place where even a post with the most innocent of intentions can place you in deep waters of cyber bully which can cripple your very existence.

Funny enough, most of the people we always find expedient to criticize for making what to us are ‘wrong choices’, as if that is our paid job, are the ones not just sitting down like us, trying to act all clean and angelic. Rather, they are at least doing something with their life, they are the ones putting their hands to the plow and trying out what works or will not work for them, learning valuable lessons and making future improvements. One day, they are the ones that will grow to become resilient influencers and world game changers. On the contrary, it is we, the critics, who now call ourselves “social media commentators”, who will remain at the same place with apparently nothing better to do with our lives, other than offering vitriolic criticism.

Perhaps, the most talked about people are always people who are doing something and trying to get somewhere. Critics will always remain to talk down achievers, but may themselves not be achievers. Very few achievers seem to waste time talking down others.

Well, criticism in itself is not a bad thing, but it must be constructive. Otherwise, it is only damaging and never builds a person up. People struggle to turn out good when they constantly hear negative words thrown at them. Try that on your child or spouse and see how they turn out. Words carry power and our words must always be measured, even if we want to criticize. Negative environments are just so caustic, and we must do all that we can to avoid them – at least, for our own mental health.

©Mark Gadogbe, 2020

Featured Image Credit: Instagram | @adina_thembi

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Dear Women, It’s International Men’s Day! Hello?

International Men’s Day is celebrated on 19th November every year to celebrate men and address some important male issues. Unfortunately, it appears the day doesn’t receive as much buzz as its opposite, International Women’s Day, which is celebrated on March 8 every year.

I know it’s somehow sad that an important day as International Men’s Day passes every year without some women in our lives even realizing it. The least they could do is to use the day to recognize our existence as men and the positive roles we play (no matter how little) in their life and society as a whole, but somehow, it often appears there’s a grand scheme amongst some women to pretend not to know what day today is and what every little bit of appreciation means to men.

Maybe it’s not a grand scheme after all. Perhaps it’s just a sad reality that only a few men out there are influencing women’s lives positively enough to warrant a great celebration or recognition by the large army or population of women.

Perhaps, the reality might also just be that it is time for us men to embrace the sad fact that the world is progressively becoming feminine, and our essence in this new world might continue to be downplayed. We might as well awaken to the fact that it’s not just gender equality or balance that is being sought but female domination.

Perhaps, all men are needed for by some women in this “new feminist world” is to be sperm donors. If we are not lucky, that’s the only recognition we may continue to get. We may only find our worth when our “new age women” get tired of their dildos, so let’s fast and pray they do real quick…for our own good. 😂😜

In any case, may the good Lord continue to bless and lift up all women who continue to recognize, appreciate and celebrate the men in their life. Thank you for being our support system and life blood! 🙏🏾

Happy International Men’s Day to all men! May we continue to play our divine roles and fulfill God’s purpose in our lives. The world can still not do without us, under God’s divine order. 👏🏽💪🏽🙏🏾

©Mark Gadogbe, 2020

A Corona Halloween

Happy Halloween!

Glad that we are all still alive and fighting this Covid-19 pandemic in our own little ways. Hopefully, we’ll win in the end, if we do not give up!

In the meantime, let’s take a moment and be thankful that we’re still here… with a little something to celebrate or mark on the calendar. Halloween may not mean that much to some, but it is an important event for so many others across the globe. In any case, many could not live to see this day, be it an important day or not. So, we may as well just be grateful and thankful for life.

Be of good cheer and stay safe out there!

God is sharing marriage partners 😊

God always brings the right person; but it’s your job to know and to take the chance. He obviously won’t just drop a perfect partner on your lap just because you’re the most faithful or committed Christian, so you can just take him/her and go. Or would He?

There’s something called searching and deciding (taking a step of faith) when it comes to landing a life partner. This is a personal commitment or personal effort. If you like, do nothing, just pray all you want and continue shying away from all the good guys and ladies (with all those flimsy excuses and wish lists) and see how that works out?

Well, the longer you wait for God to do some magic for you, the more the years come flying by. Well, miracles do happen, but, if you want it, you got to go out there, strategically position yourself and be discoverable. Of course, trust the hand of God in the process but also take personal responsibility and step out in faith.

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©Mark Gadogbe (2020)