Sometimes I get discouraged at my journey, looking at where I have reached versus where I had wanted to be. It is not a good feeling.
For some of us, our dreams stagnated because we had to postpone many things to help others on the way. Sometimes you feel proud that God had to use you to give others hope and a shot at life. Other times, you feel downcast or low spirited seeing your present circumstance and the success of many folks you started with, and you know deep within you that you could have reached so much heights had the burdens been light.
Many times you would hope and pray that those you had to be a light to in their dark moments would stand with you in your low moments. But such a hope is also a big gamble because you have real scars, memories and histories of abandonment by even those you once shared a womb and a bed. Once bitten, twice shy, they say…so it makes sense to stop making sacrifices for people, but your nature seems to abhor “putting yourself first”. Not that you cannot make yourself the foremost and perhaps only priority, but your conscience always wins at dissuading you.
You are grateful for where God took you from to where you are now. But you are also dissatisfied with the present and dying for a change, for a new breakthrough, for quick answers to silent prayers. You feel you have long stayed in a wilderness situation and just a new wind of change will give you great joy and renewed hope.
When will that happen? When will God answer your heartfelt prayers? That is the bigger battle. Not that you have not read many times the Biblical encouragement “do not be anxious about anything…Phil 4:6-7”, but waiting is indeed frustrating. They say it pays to wait but for now, “it pains to wait”. But hang in we must. To keep hopes alive and keep praying for a miracle and a turnaround we must.
Every once in a while we all deserve a good thing to lift our spirits up, don’t we?
No matter how grave a setback a winner experiences in life, he gets back up, stands tall and moves on! He doesn’t sit down nursing a belly full of regrets!
Forget that setback; forget that person that gave up on you; forget that person who doesn’t want you anymore in their life; forget all that negative energy. You don’t need all that baggage on your way to the top!
It’s not always easy, but it’s always possible! Not before long and we might realize ‘they meant it for evil, but God turned it for good’. 💪🏽🙏🏾
Every good relationship needs spending lots of time together to GROW it. The moment, as a man, you say the magic words to your significant other, spending time with her becomes like her human right and if she does not get it, she’ll demand it big time.
But, a big question often asked is “how much time is too much time“? This question mostly arises because many guys feel their women demand too much of their time, and on the part of the ladies, it seems no matter the amount of time a man spends with them, he only seems to meet just about a quarter of what she needs.
Just recently, a guy mentioned that his girlfriend broke up with him over complains of he not making or spending enough time with her, does not call her often, etc. He felt those are frivolous demands. When asked if he thinks in his own estimation he does spend enough time with her girlfriend, he blurted out he spends even way too much.
Guess every relationship gets to experience those demand for time issues. I’m sure many people can relate.
Unsatisfied spouses are mostly bitter spouses. A lot of bitterness in marriage erupts from unmet needs and expectations. Find out what the need is and meet it. The key to a happy marriage is simply meeting the needs of each other.
Many times when people begin to isolate from the crowd (friends, family, social activities, etc) and keep to themselves, chances are that all is not well with them. They may be fighting battles way bigger than themselves.
Loneliness and seclusion is never a healthy sign, it’s never fun. Check on people. They may not be willing to talk about their issues, but it may mean a lot to them that someone did check up on them.
I pray for you that you don’t fail and that your integrity doesn’t come into question. But, I also pray that when you fail, you admit it, pick yourself up and move on because sometimes, no man is above failure.
We’re all failures in one thing but masters in another.
One day, those who think we don’t care enough will realize we were the ones who cared most for them after all. Just maybe it will be too late then.
Many times we break our back for people but they don’t see it because we always put them in front or ahead of us and our own needs. That is simply because of how much we love or value them, but if they were behind us or had we made their needs secondary to ours, they would have seen.
Sometimes, people make you want to regret being there for them or losing yourself to rather make their dreams come true. Later, they begin to treat you or relate with you like you had no dreams of your own. They begin to make you feel like you are a loser – and they probably are right when you begin to think about all the years, time and resources you have lost “supporting” them. People are in many ways ungrateful and forget so easily how our own dreams died to keep theirs alive.
Maybe the problem is people being wired to think it does not cost a thing to help others or some are just born deserving of help like some kind of a birthright (they call it grace). Helping people costs so much…it did cost Jesus His life! Grace did come at a cost. Duh!
Emotional attachment is important for building healthy and committed love relationships but can also be a very costly thing.
You build your life around one person (your partner) for years and suddenly they decide to leave or move away…to pursue new dreams, goals, aspirations and better their life – and hopefully, both of your lives. A difficult choice is made that leaves little room for making changes or compromises that includes you. You understand, but then you also realize that dreams of a better future have taken first place over you. You have to relearn to build life alone and apart, while realizing distance has a way of shattering bonds – both physical and emotional.
You realize that if you fall in love with a bird, you have to let it fly…you must not take away its wings. You must not cage a bird for its happiness depends on flying. If you’re married to a fish, you must let it swim.
You also realize that, much as you may desire it, life cannot always be lived together with a significant other. There are times you will be together, there are times you will be apart. Just that if you are high on emotional attachment, no matter how brief or long the parting away is, no matter the good reasons and future rewards, and no matter how often you try to stay in touch, something leaves you, a big part of you dies within, your emotional attachment bubble bursts…you feel a vacuum left. Everything changes…until you’re back to building life together again. If nothing changes, then you’re not that emotionally attached.
What you don’t tell people they can’t use against you. In other words, what people don’t know they can’t use against you. If you don’t tell them anything about your close friend, your job, your relationship, your marriage, your house, your neighbour, good news, your bad news, your sins, struggles, etc, they won’t have anything to use against you. Knowledge empowers people.
People are so nosy, asking you so many unsuspecting questions pretending to care; be weary of such people! You may not know what their true intentions are. Lately, people are not very loyal and will spew garbage about you or sell you out at the least opportunity. Some will come to you themselves with their mess…then drag you along with it; be wise and know who to trust with your most valuable information and secrets!
The trouble you are not seeking may be seeking you; you can’t escape all, but be on the lookout! The devil presents himself sometimes like an angel.
Where necessary too, you will do good leaving people’s opinion of you to them and not worry about it; just advice yourself and know how to draw the line going forward! You don’t need everybody with you on your life’s journey. Cut off the nosy untrustworthy ones. They are too much baggage.