Many see love as merely a feeling; others as merely a choice.

Love merely as a FEELING can best be described as having no patience to wait; it must be satisfied with its objects instantly. It is more sensual and selfish and wrapped up in immediacy.

Love as a CHOICE rises above feelings and the present to the unseen and the future. Though seemingly above feelings, it is not necessarily opposed to it; it works through it and makes it subordinate to its influence and end. It is more sacrificial and works “in spite of”.

On the grounds of EASE and INDULGENCE and PRESENT INTEREST, love as a feeling takes upper hand over love as a choice; but it is however ephemeral or short-lived. Also when reason cannot comprehend and see things God’s way, it is love as merely a feeling that triumphs or rules.

However, when the soul or heart is fully convinced of the FAILURE and INSUFFICIENCY of mere sensuality in satisfying its requirements for the future rewards it seeks in a lasting relationship, love as merely a feeling fails.

Love as a CHOICE is a power that thrives in light but also has confidence in the dark. It works with all the evidences the case in hand (relationship) produces and tries to live in harmony with all circumstances, changing those it can and coping with those it cannot.

Feelings of the heart most often precede the choices it makes because the human heart is open and awaken to seeing and feeling things as they are before choices are made. However, love as a choice demonstrates its superiority in circumstances that baffle the sensuous reasoning of love as a feeling.

In spite of the above expositions however, the UNITY of the two phases (love as a feeling and as a choice) is essential in making all relationships strong and happy. When they are DIVIDED (operating separately), the happiness of a relationship is marred; and its strength of heart and character is sheared.

Rightly put, what you feel for someone is only about you but it is the things you chose to do for the one you love as a result of what you feel that counts.

Mark Gadogbe

First published on on November 3, 2014 as Guest Blogger.


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