Apparently someone wasn’t very comfortable with my exploits on Facebook and especially about the fact that a lot of my updates are centered on relationship/marriage as if I knew it all tried to chastise me. But when I started my response thus: when my parents’ marriage of God knows how many years hit the rocks and threw our lives into a bit of misery, some of the scars still visible, and eventually my mother passed on, ….” the person stopped me from going on and said its okay. I didn’t know why and I didn’t have to ask why. But I wasn’t surprised because I know many share similar sentiments but just haven’t found the courage to express it in my face. Some who will not say it directly turn to be sarcastic with their remarks as if to suggest that I am too young to speak of that which those with years of practical experience are quiet about.
I guess that makes it true what I heard a certain man say recently that “older couples in terms of the length of marriage are wiser than younger couples”. I do not seek to dispute that though I could, putting it in a much broader perspective. But I believe young or old, we have our own wisdom which God confers on us; our wisdom is unique to us as long as we all have very different experiences of life. Let no man resent us then and rob us of who we are. We have been through things bigger than what people have been through and we have been through things smaller than what others have experienced but all in all, that is what defines us.
Maybe this is when we should take a cue from Timothy’s admonishment in 1 Timothy 4:12 (NIV) thus:
“Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, …”
We cannot all build the same model of marriage; we only need a reflection of Christ in our models. Christian or not, our Christian lives are different and all Christian marriages are different too. Even in the life of two Christians, the exhibition of the character of Christ in their personal lives and marital practice will still vary. The idealists will say that every Christian marriage should look exactly the same in practice; well, that’s why they are idealists: being guided more by ideals than what’s practical.
Oh, guess I’m deviating huh? Well, I believe if my beloved critic had not cut short my response, I would have completed it with the words of Sheila Wray Gregoire thus:
“Blogging about marriage really does make you more intentional about your own marriage”
Perfect! The more I put out those updates, posts and thoughts, the more I would be made to see my life and marriage in the light of those words. See now how those unlimited updates benefit me too? Haha! Yes, I have loads of reasons why I do what I do and that just happens to b one perfect reason, my dear critic.
Oh, don’t we ever stop doing what God by inspiration lays on our hearts to do; you may never know whose life you are imparting. Just one testimony here: I have had people older than me and longer in marriage than me seek my counsel/views on certain issues.
Anyways, God just whispered into my spirit that to even have critics means people are reading and watching at a distance. So still thank God in whatever you do for the rare gift of critics.
Indeed, people are watching our marriages and love lives…let’s let them see heaven in it. We may be their only source of inspiration; their only hope that marriage can be beautiful and that marriage works!
Mark Gadogbe (McApple)