Every girl lives for her wedding day

​”Every girl lives for her wedding day”???

Well, embrace your wedding day…prepare for it, celebrate it.

But after that few hours of fame, the spotlight on you will be gone forever…and the real work starts.

What’s scary?

Truth: “the first year of marriage is hard…really hard“.

And it’s even more when you don’t work at marrying somebody with similar goals, dreams and passions but rather in pursuit of the “soul mate” fantasy.

If only we (especially ladies) will think and prepare more for the marriage as we do for the wedding… like how we make sure, and spend sleepless nights planning for nothing to go wrong, a lot will change in marriages.

Why women especially? Because they are powerful stakeholders of the home. A lot depends on them; even though running the home is an equal partnership. 

~Credit: Frank Powell

 (Edited and expanded)
©Mark Gadogbe (McApple), 2017

Date nights and couple fun

Couple fun…?

It doesn’t take much to have a fun marriage; all you need is two bottle crown caps to play a game on your next date night! 
Try it 😂

Date nights and fun refreshes every marriage or relationship. Very little things create fun in marriage…you don’t have subject your brains to any mental agony to discover that. 

On our recent date night, we creatively enjoyed two different fun games with just bottle crown caps…and I can’t describe the atmosphere that just those crown caps created. Forget the pizza…it didn’t bring as much happiness, love and affection, more than what those crown caps did. 😝

​Now you can guess who won!! 

All I do is win, win, win no matter what…” 😜

🎤🎵🎶🎼

©Mark Gadogbe (McApple), 2017

Stages of marital love

Which stage of love have you reached? 

I’ll tell you mine. We’re passed the young love stage and almost now enjoying realistic love…and we gonna stay there for a long time! How cool? 😂🙈

I discovered recently that marital love passes through five stages

young love: years 1–2

realistic love: years 3–10

settled love: years 11–25

renewed love: years 26–35

inconceivable love: years 36+

But what’s important is that you make a decision to enjoy every stage of your marriage. Decide to cherish every moment. Let the beauty of your spouse always be the standard for beauty. Together, break out of the everyday routine again and again. 

Believe in and be amazed at the miracle of love, your marriage! It is the biggest adventure on earth! 

​Marriage and compliments

I recently learned that women forget. She must hear the wedding vow eight times a day. And your husband nine times. Men forget even faster.

Compliments have the power to change lives. Compliment your partner with a text message or face to face. 
Compliment your spouse when others can hear it too. That is even more powerful because it makes your partner feel prouder and more special. Social media is a powerful tool for that, use it. Post a picture occasionally, write some nice words about him/her and post it. 

Public adoration or expression of compliments should not be limited to only once in a year special days or occasions like birthdays and anniversaries. With every simple act of compliment you reap a million in benefits…your love tank never dries. When in doubt, look out Proverbs 18:21
©Mark Gadogbe (McApple), 2017

Marriage & Personal Development Author 

Super wives…

…And whatever the man is not, it is the woman’s job to help him become

He might not yet be the best husband…but it is your duty to help him become. You must not rest until he becomes. God needs you to.

It’s called “DUTIES OF A HELPMATE / HELPMEET”

The beginning point is to BE A SUPER WOMAN and pray for your husband daily…never stopping until he becomes the kind of man God delights in. Good wives never stop praying for their husbands; but they do stop nagging because they know prayer achieves much more. A praying woman is a super woman.

When-Nagging-Doesnt-Work-PRAY

I see you becoming a super wife, a praying wife, a woman who knows her role and place in a man’s life and excels in it.

God bless!

 

Mark Gadogbe (McApple), 2017

Marriage & Personal Development Author

twitter

(PS: Thanks for reading. Do share your thoughts with us in the comment box)

The soul mate race…

No matter how many times you fail in life or in a competition the rules will never change for you…it remains the same. Same applies to relationships and the race to winning a soul mate and life companion. It wouldn’t matter how many heartbreaks or disappointments you experienced in your search, the rules and people will not change for you…you still got to try over and over again. The work lies with you, not with them. You can sit and lament all you want, blame a million people if you like…but that will not change your status. If you still want it, then you got to go for it again and again…the Philippians 3:13 style (forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead).

 

©Mark Gadogbe (McApple), 2017

Marriage & Personal Development Author

 

Marriage on a mission

Is your marriage on a mission? Ours is! We believe God has a mission for every marriage. He has a mental picture of how He wants every marriage to turn out.

Part of our marriage mission is:

“Our God wants from us a compellingly attractive marriage that turns people’s head and makes them want to know how much more beautiful God’s love for mankind is”

A lot of people have criticized us many times on how our open or public demonstration of love makes them uncomfortable and how immature it makes us. However, as often as we can, we try to remind ourselves of that ultimate call on our marriage so we can exert ourselves the best ways we can in accomplishing that calling or mission. And we evaluate our marriage and relationship often in light of that so we identify areas where more works needs to be done. At least when God was putting us together He didn’t say we were too immature so we’ve learned to ward off a lot of criticism.

Got a marriage/relationship mission you commit to? Or you are just living through the motion?

A great marriage requires a lifetime’s worth of dedicated work and having a marriage mission is like a shared goal that builds teamwork and the bonds of the marriage thereof.

We believe that in God’s mind, marriage is a tool for evangelism because the love we demonstrate in marriage reflects God’s love for all humankind. How we treat our spouses must reflect or mirror God; our love for our spouses must show in ways that make people around us take notice. John 13:35 says “By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another”.

photostudio_1476964991422

I once wrote a post where I advocated that we celebrate openly our marital blessings because it is through doing that people can see what the glory of God in marriage looks like. It’s just like in Matthew 7:16-17, people will only know your fruits if they can see it. If they don’t see the flowers of a plant in beautiful display they can’t be attracted to it and can’t glorify it. Similarly, people will never know about the goodness of God unless we make them see it some way or the other.

Christian marriages can do that and Christians might want to begin to see their marriages as effective tools for evangelism. Like it is said in Romans 10:14, “How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them?” See? Evidence-based! And the evidences are in the daily blessings poured out on our marriages that we are always tempted to hide.

There are however people who do not believe in making a public spectacle of their marriages, kids, blessings, etc for some very good personal reasons. Many others also believe that the more they “glorify” their marriage or blessings, the more they expose their marriage or relationship to the radar of Satan and evil people so they are better off hiding in some corner. Well, if the motive is good, stick to it.

However, fear only begets more fear and you will never be able to overcome your fears while still living in fear. The fear of Satan and his many evil works will only make him have more control over you and eventually cripple your public testimony of God’s goodness. And that’s always the goal of the enemy.

Someone once wrote:

“If all we who call ourselves Christians loved our spouses in a deep, real, vibrant and obvious way, imagine what it would do to the world. Imagine if it were undeniable that those who follow Jesus are more in love, more happily married, more sexually satisfied, and just had better marriages all around. In a world full of divorce and troubled marriages, such a public testimony would show people that faith in Jesus is more than just a claim”

Think about it!

Cheers!

 

© Mark Gadogbe (McApple), 2017

Marriage & Personal Development Author

Lateness at our weddings

I had written this a long time ago but could not publish it because a couple of friends who got married around that time would have said it’s about them. Funny it is, but I have learned one thing in recent times that timing is very important even with publishing of my posts and I still have unpublished posts that are over a year old. So now that at least I know of no close friend whose invite I am honouring soon, I feel at liberty to publish this. Lol.

I thought the day and age where we used to keep people waiting hours at marriage and wedding ceremonies should have been long gone now but sadly it’s still with us. If there was any glamour in it in years past, my dear bride and groom, it’s no longer glamorous. The age we are in now, time is of big essence to throw away waiting for a bride and groom for hours. It adds no value to anybody’s life to have to wait hours for a marriage/wedding ceremony to start. It doesn’t make any bride or groom too any more valuable than they already are. If anything, it rather looks disrespectful of people’s valuable time and for you the bride and groom, it creates a bad image on you especially when you are of the educated or elite class.

Of course we all know sometimes things don’t go as planned and some unexpected stuffs can cause delays but seriously, for hours? Hell no! It’s unacceptable! Of course it’s your day and all your guests have put off important things for your sake just to show their love; but don’t take them for granted! It’s a choice you have to make way before the wedding day.

575088

In this part of our world where marriage is not just between bride and groom but a family affair, it makes it even more important that you accord a little bit of courtesy to important family members most of whom are way older than you that at least you should respect their time. It surely is very annoying when your entire family and important guests gather at the time you yourself has given them and now have to wait for you for hours!

Ok, we in this part of the world are never on time so that’s why if it’s supposed to start at 12pm you let your invite read every 10am? Oh come on! A few minutes late may be pardonable (doesn’t mean it’s encouraged), but not 2 hours late for God’s sake! But that’s what our educated brides and grooms are doing to us.

When I was getting married my wife and I agreed that we are educated and should not embarrass ourselves with excessive lateness. We were glad and even more put on edge when the presiding Pastor also stressed same to us during our last meeting with him a day before the event with the words “you guys are learned so don’t act otherwise and keep everybody waiting”. And he was glad after the ceremony that we did not disappoint him and all the people who had travelled from very far to honour us.

There were circumstances that could have made us late especially my camera man deciding not to show up on time. I remember leaving to the Church without him doing the coverage and sending strict instructions to my wife and the bridal team not to wait for him and that I would be so pissed if we had to go against our “no lateness” resolve because of him. Luckily, he was able to catch up with my wife and the bridal team on their way. So as it were, things didn’t go as planned and he couldn’t cover the dressing and preparations before the wedding as agreed and yet wanted to hold us against our resolve, demanding we wait for him. Annoyingly though he saw nothing wrong with it because according to him it is unusual for weddings to start almost on time and that almost all the weddings he has covered started at least an hour after start time.

photostudio_1476968558448

It is very unfortunate when at a wedding guests begin to make comments like “If I had known I would have taken my time and not come on time or at least eat before coming” just because by the time your reception starts (going by when programme was supposed to start), your guests would have been dying of hunger just because of that little cocktail or buffet. Of course a start time of 10am for a church wedding does not mean groom must be there exactly 10am because they arrive first (that will be great though) but both groom and bride not arriving so many minutes or hours beyond start time in my opinion is disrespectful of people’s time!

Well, maybe it’s just so ingrained in us that we just can’t help it. Then again I thought we only do that while here at home but no, we do it even when we are living abroad. I almost left a wedding of some friends when I was in the UK had it not being that it started to rain just about the time my patience run out. And the atmosphere in the Church that day and the embarrassing expressions of the Pastor, officiating ministers and the groom who had to wait hours for the bride (yet everybody switching to happy mood the moment bride finally entered as if they were not boiling and complaining moments ago) is one that I can never forget.

Shame on us!

© Mark Gadogbe (McApple)

Marriage & Personal Development Author

 

Like, Comment, Share…and Subscribe!

Couple fun

Fun is important to every marriage. A marriage/relationship where partners do not have regular fun times is likely to encounter many problems.

Fun is very essential for marriage growth that couples no matter their busy schedules must create time to have fun and laugh together. Fun brings out the best in people and has a connecting effect.

You can’t separate fun from a good marriage or a satisfying marriage

It is said that couples that play together stay together. Reports have it that having fun together can boost the brain chemical called dopamine, which helps fuel sex drive. It is a good way of discovering a partner’s other good sides too.

Plato is reported to have said…

“You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation”

So go ahead…create some time and have some good memorable fun. You will be better with it than without it.

Cheers!

© Mark Gadogbe (McApple)

Marriage & Personal Development Author

 

Like, Comment, Share…and Subscribe!

Control and manipulation…

There are no lessons to be learned when a husband dominates his wife. There are no inspiring examples to emulate when a wife manipulates a husband. Marriage shows us that we are not all there is; it calls us to give way to another, but also to find joy, happiness, and even ecstasy in another.
~~Gary Thomas