On secular leadership…

How do I know or find a good leader?

Good leaders are hard to find! They are also hard to gather into a team and they are also hard to keep cos they are always thinking what to do next and where to go next and where to make the next big impact. They don’t have time to listen to everybody and every opinion.

Non-leaders are everywhere; they are all over the place making noise! You can always find those and even if they don’t understand your dream/vision, they will keep making noise about it as if they know.

Don’t worry, in your personal space, you have a lot of non-leaders as friends…especially those friends who will never stay put but want to hang around you always…who can never spend time with themselves with the excuse of always being lonely or feeling bored…those friends who can never tell you to your face that even though we love you, we will criticize you when you are clearly in the wrong. Those are just some of the traits.

Never make them leaders of that company you want to build because what will make that company stand is not people with unwavering or religious allegiance to your “personality” but people who can be very objective and sincere to you no matter the odds. You don’t need people who will sing your praises every time…that’s very dangerous.

Of most priority to me, and what I have realized in recent days is to never make a person (be it friend or family) who cannot draw the line between Christian Leadership and Secular Leadership as a leader of the company I want to build. Such people always muddy the waters every morning, noon and night with religion…what doesn’t concern religion too will be “married” with religion. Even in the business world, anybody whose views differ from their entrenched religiosity will be tagged “son of the devil”. That’s just the reality in our part of the world that stifles development.

©Mark Gadogbe (McApple), 2018

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Realities of life

When I was very young, I had a favorite “motivational” song. I could sing it all day. I didn’t know who owned the song but it has stayed with me ever since.

It was the best perspective I had on the realities of life even before I began experiencing much of it as an adult myself.

The lyrics of the song goes like:

“WHEN I WAS POOR, NOBODY CARED FOR ME. WHEN I WAS NOTHING, NO ONE KNEW MY WAY. THEY SAID I WAS UGLY, TOO UGLY TO BE LOVED. THEY SAID I WAS TOO POOR, TOO POOR TO BE A FRIEND. BUT NOW THAT I’M RICH, EVERYBODY WANTS ME. NOW THAT I’M RICH, ALL THE GIRLS COME TO ME. IT’S SO EASY TO SEE, IT’S MY MONEY THEY LOVE. IT’S MY MONEY THEY WANT. LOOKING FOR A FRIEND AND A LOVER FOR LIFE, LOOKING FOR SOMEONE WHO WILL LOVE ME FOR REAL; IN THIS CRAZY WORLD, NOBODY CARES FOR ME”

We all have moments like that when we come to people and they just don’t want anything to do with us. They mock us, treat us like dirt or nonentities just because of our present circumstances. They feel “better” than us so they don’t want to be seen with us.

But we know, one day God will bless our hustle and we too will become somebody they will wish they had never pushed away. Thankfully, only God knows a man’s future from his today and only God decides who wins or loses in the end, not our fellow human beings.

The beautiful thing about circumstances is that they do change!

©Mark Gadogbe (McApple), 2018

MAKE THE DEVIL TAKE HIS BAGS

When you get out of a bad relationship because it was bad but you are still resentful, and angry….you let the devil leave his bags!!

When you say “I forgive you” but you can’t seem to let it go and have peace with that person…you let the devil leave his bags!!

When you break off your relationship with that hurtful and abusive person but you are still suspicious and distrusting of every new person you meet…you let the devil leave his bags!!

When you decide to let go of the past hurts from growing up in an unstable family environment, yet you still believe you are unworthy of love from others and so refuse to get attached to anyone…you let the devil leave his bags!!

So the next time you put the devil out, MAKE SURE HE TAKES HIS BAGS TOO!!!!!

Dear God…

Dear God,
Today you blessed me with just little when I was expecting much.
And because I had hoped and trusted You for a fat blessing,
I complained more than I should have thanked you.
I complained because I compared my blessings with that of others.
And I couldn’t understand why you blessed them more than I.
And I couldn’t stop asking the usual “why, why” questions,
And making little jokes out of the situation just to make me feel good.
Now I realized I have behaved childishly.
So teach me as I onward bound…
To accept even the least of your blessings with the greatest of gratitude!!
Sorry Lord…and thank you!
For always being THE BEST!!!

Wealth without Christ

He reminded me of the worthlessness of wealth 

And the pricelessness of love in the eyes of eternity 

All his money hadn’t put a smile on his face

All his possessions hadn’t given him peace

All his wealth hadn’t filled his heart with happiness or brought meaning to his life

He seemed lost, separated from love, and separated from God

He was trapped in a golden cage and didn’t even know it.

Oh Dear!

Time and chance… 

Today we are nobody; tomorrow we will be somebody.

Today people don’t love us for who we are; tomorrow they would wish they had loved us. 

It will be to their regret; to us a joy to know that the best revenge is making people come to know they have made a mistake with us…that we are worth so much more than their price tag.

Time changes! Life is all that matters. Nothing is as valuable as life.

And as long as we have life, we’ll keep hoping; we’ll keep believing; we’ll keep channelling our energies into positive things!

That’s the only way we would be successful. 

We won’t lose our heads over those who want nothing to do with us today; we would channel that energy into something more productive, that adds value to our lives, that makes our lives much better and much happier!

God is such a good God and He’s got us all on good footing! He’s proud of who you are and He’s building you for a glorious future! Focus on Him! 

©Mark Gadogbe (McApple), 2018

Too many voices cloud our decisions 

Electrically speaking, the earth can be a very noisy place. Overhead power lines, electric substations, railroad tracks, various signal transmitters and many other sources contribute to signal noise found in any given location. Harmonics, 60 Hz background noise,  and magnetic field coupling can distort the measurement signal, resulting in apparent readings that are larger or deviate by an order of magnitude from normal. Selecting equipment with electronic packages capable of discriminating between these signals is critical

So it is with us humans too. There are always so many voices in our head on a daily basis that influences our decisions and choices in life. 

For almost every decision a man takes in life, he has to battle and differentiate between the voices from the devil, from God himself, from the church, from family and friends, from random people in society and possibly voices from colleagues and superiors at work, etc. 

Just for a moment, consider just about how many voices a man or a woman listens to or has to listen to in the choice of a life partner. Trust me, they are so many. And that’s just one in a million life choices or decisions. 😊

Learning to make the right decision in life is never easy and learning to listen to your own inner voice or even the voice of God is increasingly difficult with all the myriad of influences. 

No wonder many times we make a lot of “forgiveable mistakes” because we get confused trying to listen to everybody’s opinion or to please them. 

It is true that no man is an island so something or someone will definitely influence one’s decisions or choices. It is important nonetheless that we always watch this as we go about life and the decisions we face: Two kinds of people fail in life; those who listen to nobody and those who listen to everybody

It’s never easy but we must always pray for grace to learn to make the right choices at all times, knowing who to listen to and who not to. 

©Mark Gadogbe (McApple), 2018

​ON ANGER MANAGEMENT

Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly.” – Proverbs 14:29.
I know we all need this.

Life is never devoid of problems, hurts, misunderstandings and conflict with people…

We’ve all had our own share of those…sometimes you are the cause, other times it is someone else (could be a very dear one).

But when we encounter such moments, how many of us remember the scripture above and the fact that we are unique children of God and need to exercise restraint/ patience…and by doing such be an example unto others????? 

Think well about it…and remember that the next time such moments show up their ugly heads. 

Don’t let your temper get the best of you. 

Be kind, be understanding and do what God would want you to do!

You never know whose life you are impacting

Today I’m saying goodbye to the “twenties”. It’s been so long, so fun, so eventful, and so impactful. I went blank for a moment on what to write today, then I thought…let me thank you all who have been a part of my journey. I believe no life is useless and my young life hasn’t been either. 

Every sperm counts. Don’t waste a life 😂

I believe we have impacted each other with our gifts and talents along the way and that should make the feeling mutual. That is the essence of life anyways: to know that you are making impact with your life in your small little corner on planet earth. Sometimes you may not know it or feel it that you are making some impact, but trust me, we all are. 

What started out as a mere personal interest became more of something I do for fun and leisure, and before I knew it, it started to turn into a calling, a longing, a way of blessing lives no matter how small, etc. 

Ever since I started sharing on relationships, I have had countless testimonies from people, and sometimes what’s more humbling is when people way older and more experienced than you seek your “immature” opinion on things and even tell you they feel inspired by what you do. 

There are people, young and old, who occasionally ask for my advice on certain issues and who are grateful for the help they receive. There are people who read my facebook posts, blog posts and other things that I write and tell me how these made a difference for them. Then there are emails and comments and other things that are usually complimentary but means a lot! 

The most humbling moments I’ve had was the emails I sometimes receive from places I never thought I’ve reached. One of those emails invited me to speak at a Church youth conference in the USA because somehow they thought I lived there. 

It made me realize, no matter how insignificant we are in life, no matter how young and inexperienced, we influence lives everyday…near and far. There are people who just watch us from afar and feel inspired; people that you may never meet in life. Then there are people who have the courage to walk up to you, phone you, message you, etc., and say you are their role model. Then, there are parents who see something good in you and trust their children in your care because somehow they see that you can offer them some guidance, some mentoring, a word of advice, just something positive.

Aww! Love you too Arya

I have had all of that and a lot more, and sometimes it’s terrifying because you see your own inadequacies in not being able to measure up. I see all these and sometimes the future looks a mixed feeling…what if I succeed, what if I fail?  

But what’s important is that everything God does for us, He expects us to give Him glory and let the world know that He is the God that blesses. I see blessings in a lot of things…both tangible and intangible, and I keep saying when you hide His blessings; you hide His glory. 

It’s amazing how many lives we touch everyday when we do not keep our lives bottled up but we share it with others. 

Sometimes I try not to write anything or share anything because of the backlash we keep getting from some people who think the reason we project our marriage or relationship is because we want to show off or boast about having the best of marriage. But truth is we are not even close to that…we’re all a work in progress but must that stop us from sharing our own truths? We don’t even force anybody to accept our truth as their truth…we just share what we know. 

Some people believe in not sharing anything about their life with others for whatever reason and they just want you to be like them. Possibly they feel, too much sharing puts them on the radar of the devil who doesn’t like to see any good thing. But, sometimes you never learn any new thing doing that and you never get to be of help or be a mentor to anyone by doing that. As we share part of our lives with others we impart knowledge, life experiences, and we learn both ways. A word from someone can reorient your life, make you do some re-evaluation and put you back in line with your goals.

So yes, many times I fight myself to not share my writings or thoughts but I keep getting the feeling that the thoughts (some call it experience) you refuse to share may be someone’s life-saver. And how disappointing it will be that you held the key to someone’s solution but didn’t give it. 

I guess it shouldn’t matter what other people of the world think…as long as God knows the motive behind what you do and that it’s ultimately to show forth His glory, He will watch over His word to perform it and there’s nothing the devil and his cohorts can do about it. Though there’s never been any blessing in a man’s life that has never attracted evil…but because God must never fail on His word, he watches over the blessings…as long as we keep playing our part and keeping our relationship with Him.

But at the end of the day, what’s of most importance to me is that when I get home, my wife sees me as the same person others see out there through my writings and the life I project. The nice things people write and say about me will mean nothing to me or to her if she does not see me unselfishly loving her and helping build our own relationship or marriage the way Christ would want it. 

Finally mature 😝

So here’s how I welcome myself to the thirties and I hope I don’t get called “immature” again…even after all I have seen, experienced, and achieved in my twenties. 😂 Thank you all for being a part of my journey and my growth into “maturity”. Or, is the thirties bracket not the ones you people call “mature”? 😂

Cheers to “maturity”!! 😜💪👌

 ©Mark Gadogbe (McApple), 2018

You’re just different…not abnormal! 

Truth is we are all created differently and we will all live vastly different lives. If the life that I live and the choices that I make does not look anything like yours…you don’t have to be too quick to question that. 

God is so wise that He’s given us all different destinies, different callings in life, different ambitions, different passions, different careers, different backgrounds, different life experiences, different everything. In fact, even our physiques are different. 

As long as we are within the will of God, you’ve got to let us alone sometimes and give us some room to breathe! 

But of course, if we’re outside the will of God, you’ve got to correct us and we have to be humble enough to accept correction…at least God will want that for us. 

Alright, so cheers to breaking free from all the labels! You’ve got to…trust me! 😂🙏
©Mark Gadogbe (McApple), 2018

Marriage & Personal Development Author