Mothers and Wives…

Quickest Way To Start A Conflict In Your Home On Mothers’ Day:
When you as the man of the house go about posting, flaunting and flooding the social media space with your mum’s images and think less of doing same with your wife’s…the mother of your kids. Then you come to say that’s the job of her own kids to wish her; it’s mothers’ day, not wives day, etc. Whoever sold out that mentality to some of you men lied to you and only wants your downfall.

Women (Wife’s) don’t play like that bro! Do not say I did not warn you 😊

Happy Mothers’ Day to all the gorgeous women in our lives. We see all the sacrifice and we can’t thank you enough. Without you, we (men) are incomplete and the home is surely a wreck without you. Be proud of yourselves!

©Mark Gadogbe (McApple), 2019

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Never argue with your Pastor

It is very easy these days to find a lot of Bible verses and passages being misrepresented or taken out of context by modern day Charismatic Preachers who attach a lot of gimmicks and “gymnastics” to their preaching just to excite the crowd. And a lot of unsuspecting members just follow everything that comes out of a Preacher’s mouth as the undiluted truth from God without any effort of exercising personal discernment.

We follow blindly especially in these days of social media craze that most men of God are now more concerned with amassing a large following than preaching the right messages. Sadly, if you’re in a Church that you don’t follow your Pastor / Preacher on social media or share their posts, you’re seen and treated more as not a friend of the Church or man of God. Our attachment and focus is more now towards the men of God and promoting them than Christ Himself or living lives that reflect Christ. They are gradually leading and defining our lives more than God (Christ); we now so easily do things to please them rather than Christ…thinking by pleasing them we are by extension pleasing God in all cases.

And the disposition of some of the men of God is so amazing that you wonder exactly enters people when they have been “called by God”. Because you have the opportunity of a congregation to preach to as a servant of God, you think everybody else in the congregation doesn’t know anything. You think you’re the only one endowed with the right kind of heavenly knowledge and should always be right. The church setting sometimes surprises me because one person shares a message and everybody is expected to agree with it…no questions asked. Take the message, swallow it hook, line and sinker and if you have a problem with it, go argue with your Bible…and not the one disseminating it. Express too much opposing views and you’ll be tagged not matured in Christ or asked where your “Doctor of Theology Degree” is. 😂

Back in the days when question and answer times were allowed during teaching services, you still are not allowed to make arguments that puts the “All-knowing Preacher” in a position of not having all the facts after all. When all else fails, they will ask you “do you argue with your Boss at your work place”? Well, then you can’t argue with a “man of God” or object to anything he does because they hear direct from God and you don’t. Just like the secular Bosses…they are always right. Spiritual Bosses…so cool 😎.

I hope they hold our hands and take us to Heaven instead of we working out our own salvation. 😊

©Mark Gadogbe (McApple), 2019

The church has lost it

We have said it a billion times!
Our churches have lost it!
Both the “sane” and “insane” churches
Our people both literate and illiterate have lost it too!
In the name of spirituality…we have all lost it!
We have argued many times
How far church discipline should go
We have argued a billion times
Where the Churches assumed role of “parenting” ends
We have raised it a million times
How church “membership” ought to be defined
And where the church’s “authority” over its “members” ends
We have voiced out a thousand times
How non-ethical our church leaders are operating
How manipulative and cunning they have become
How the main purpose of the Church has shifted
How “secular” our churches have become
How we can no longer differentiate
Church from a Business or Secular Organization, etc
But for fear of being labelled “carnal”
And put in some particular stereotypes
And for how wrongly we have been brainwashed
In interpreting the “touch not my anointed…” scriptures
The “it is God speaking through me” gimmicks
That makes us take every message/direction from the pulpit
Hook, line and sinker!
We ourselves have become unwise and “stupid” followers
How brainwashed we have become
How undiscerning we have become
How dead in our spirits we have become
Because we do not know the Bible for ourselves
Because we fail to realize
Our lives are not sold out to churches to do as they please
Our lives are to be led by Christ and not the Church
Church leading you and Christ leading you…
There’s a whole lot of difference!
The day you know…you will be liberated!

©Mark Gadogbe (McApple), 2019

Focus not on my sins 

A church that condemns but is not ready to offer help…check that church.

Sin, forgiveness and repentance go hand in hand. Don’t put your focus only on people’s sins…forgetting there’s enough room for the other two: forgiveness and repentance.

One big problem in the church is that sin often becomes public knowledge that attracts all the negatives like shame, abuse, discrimination, expulsion, etc., but repentance and God’s forgiveness is personal. A person may sin and repent in their closet but the church will never believe they have and so continue to shame and judge them.

But somehow God himself seems to value repentance (I say unto you, that likewise joy shall be in heaven over one sinner that repenteth, more than over ninety and nine just persons, who need no repentance – Luke 15:7) possibly more than sin and does not abhor sinners or send them away. In Roman’s 4:7, He even called “blessed” those who have repented (whose iniquities are forgiven and whose sins are covered).

There are some sins that leave with people immediate lasting evidences but there are some that do not show so nobody sees them. Funny enough, people sin on the daily but because there is no outward evidence, they are held righteous in the eye of the church. What makes one more righteous than another?

Yes, she fornicated and no longer a virgin or probably even pregnant…how do you tell she’s not asked for God’s forgiveness and probably repented?

Yes, he stole and got caught…how do you tell he’s not asked for God’s forgiveness and probably repented?

Subject every sin that comes to mind to the above line of thought and see the answers you will get.

I don’t know the answers but I pray God helps us so that whenever we see people’s sins, our focus does not end there.

The conclusion of the matter is that, we can never do good on our own. Let him that thinks that he stands take heed lest he fall (1 Cor 10:12). It is only God that does the good works in us (a note to all self-righteous folks). Only He worketh in us both to will and to do of His good pleasure.

Our focus should only be on continuously working out our salvation [and imperfect lifestyles] with fear and trembling. Even with that, we’ll realize it’s not by might, for by strength shall no man prevail. Init? 😊

Or isn’t it the Bible that said God himself didn’t count people’s sins against them but offered a message of love and reconciliation?
“God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation”. ~2 Cor 5:19

Offer help church, and not just condemnation!

© Mark Gadogbe (McApple), 2018

Marriage & Personal Development Author

On women proposing to men…

On a woman proposing to a man, a guy said:

“I don’t have a problem with that at all. In fact, I will say yes to any lady that will propose to me but she should make sure that right after that, she comes to see my parents and collect the marriage items (dowry) and marry me and not the other way round”.

Guys will always be guys huh? 😂

The scary future of our children

This day and age where people are becoming transgender and going into marriage without disclosing their true identities to their unsuspecting spouses is truly scary. In effect, they are making people unconsciously gay or lesbian. Because if I could be married to a man-turned-woman for a year without the slightest knowledge or cue, then the person has made me technically gay against my wish. 😂

My wife told me a true story that was shared on a social media platform she’s part of. Apparently, a man is in his 6 years of marriage and his “wife” (who was born male) and desperately wants kids but they are not coming. Now he’s been suggesting going to see a fertility specialist but his “most beautiful and elegant wife” sensing the truth will come out if they go, keeps finding reasons to prevent them from going. Now “she” doesn’t also know how best to come out clean to the man “she” claims to love for six good years and she’s out on social media anonymously seeking advice!

Guess, it’s no longer enough in our children’s future world to ask “were you born male or female” before accepting to marry people but they must go beyond to see at least childhood pictures displaying the genitals huh? 😂

In fact, I will surely tell my daughter not to marry any “man” who says he doesn’t have a childhood picture to start with. Who knows, she may even need to go and check the hospital records where he says he was born. Seriously, our children will need to do more due diligence in their choice of a life partner than we did. Surely, our parenting work is really going to be tough. Let’s brace up because this things are real.

©Mark Gadogbe (McApple), 2018

Men are dogs! 

I have to apologize that today’s post may be very controversial or too blunt to a select group of people or people who hold a particular opinion.

For all the ladies who blame all their relationship failures on men, I think they should go have a rethink. Call men dogs as much as you can but that wouldn’t change a thing; the worse it will do is make them more dogs to your disadvantage.

You see, because men are naturally the chasers, some of you ladies just sit down and do nothing and even after a man has won you over, you still do nothing…you still sit and wait to be chased and loved. Being at the receiving end always is the mindset of many of you ladies! Well, that’s good and men don’t mind doing that…but that’s where you are your own enemies sometimes.

Let me put it this way, the position of men as the chasers have made them learn their trade and it’s high time you ladies get up and learn yours. I’m not at all advocating that you become the chasers. Maybe when you read on, you will get it.

Do you know what a man goes through to get a woman he is interested in? Basically they do all they can to learn and get to know almost everything they can about the woman. They basically do a lot of researching anywhere, anyhow. Ask any guy and he will tell you whether he has not read one book or the other on women, looked at internet articles on women, etc. Don’t be surprised at the many men out there looking through sexual internet sites in a way just to learn how to please a woman (I’m not encouraging that though). You will even be amazed at the quantum of information out there about women. In effect, men get to know a lot of basic stuff about women (though “mysterious” beings most times).

The point is many of the ladies complaining about men sometimes know close to nothing about the men they have in their lives and how to please them so they can stick and stay. All many such ladies do is burden their men with many frivolous requests of buy me this, buy me that, send me money for my hair, shoe, dress, rent, etc. And when the few of their fellow ladies out there who do their homework well start getting their man’s attention off them, they start nagging and saying “men just can’t do without sex, they just can’t have enough of it, they can’t resist anything in pants“. I’m sorry to burst your bubble but many times it’s not just sex that keeps a man…men have very deep needs beyond sex.

Perhaps all you will ever know about men is reducing them to sex lovers…but I bet there’s a lot more about men that you have not focused your mind on to learn. You leave that to the ones you call “whores” and quite sadly though, they have learned to become good at what they do. You think they were just born that way? Ask many of them and you will know they learnt their trade. If any woman who snatches your man is a whore, then maybe there is something “good” they are doing that you’re not?

Well, men like creativity and trying out new stuff and mostly get frustrated with the same old thing, but shhss, don’t you ladies do same? Should I mention the new dresses, new hairstyles, new shoes, new jewelries, etc. that you want all the time? And isn’t that all some of you ladies focus your attention on even in a relationship? Some even claim they do it for the men, to look good for them. Well, very good…continue in that path alone.

Let me tell you my dear ladies, no man in his right sense will have a Jaguar at home and go looking out for a Kia car! Unless, there is something wrong with that Jaguar. So, learn to tend your garden very well and focus on the right things, the right priorities. Remember Mary and Martha and how the Bible said in Luke 10:42 that “only one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her“. To keep a man, you need to draw attention to his very soul, the very things that make him a man, his dream, aspirations, etc. You can’t do that with just sex and neither can you do that if you don’t take time to study him well and help build him up.

Get up! and go learn something about men and discover their other elements. I tell you, men are the easiest to tame. Even the dogs you equate them with have being the best of man’s animal companion. But here’s the thing, you can’t even tame or train a dog if you know less to nothing about them! Get to work and start doing your homework well.

If you come back after reading this with those lousy remarks that men are dogs, then you are just incapable of managing a man.

You think the Bible saying “A GOOD MAN IS HARD TO FIND” is just for you quoting it aloud? You don’t even know that’s in the Bible, right? Oh, you think it’s only about “A VIRTUOUS WOMAN WHO CAN FIND“? and so you sit down waiting to be found and after you have been found you still waiting to be told what to do?

Then again, I think many of you have a crazy mentality that makes you think only men need women in their life because God said “It is not good for a man to live alone“. If it’s good for a woman to live alone, then glory hallelujah!

THE CHOICE IS YOURS as always. If you think you deserve a man in your life as a lady, then get up and go learn all you can about men and manage well that good man God blesses u with. Life is not all about wearing nice shoes and dresses and putting on nice makeup to get a man to sleep with you. Your value beyond that is what will determine if you will be kept as a life partner or ditched to the gutters.

©Mark Gadogbe (McApple), 2018

Sexual revolution and exploits of women in our present day

So, the hot, sexy, curvaceous Moesha Buduong is trending in the news again for admitting in an interview with CNN’s Christiane Amanpour to being a Mistress (side chick) to a married man (who has many other Mistresses). And all of a sudden sexuality issues are up for discussion again. But, as for me, all I know is that I don’t want to take sides but in our part of the world, we know we have demonized everything sexual so much that it blinds us to real issues on the subject. 

Moesha Buduong in her elements 😊

Almost everybody in our part of the world lies about sex (even though they engage in it secretly) and it is always a problem if someone, especially women are openly expressive about sex (or speaking whatever is their own truth). Then, almost immediately, everybody else becomes a saint who has never had sex before and we begin to label the “innocent victim” for speaking out “their truth”. 

Again, it’s true that you don’t have to buy in to their truth but it is still their truth…after all, have you experienced the same things they have experienced growing up? Or you don’t even think that there are some people who have become very “sexually immoral” just because of some childhood sexual abuse they suffered? Not saying that’s the case of Moesha and her likes though…but it could be? You say it’s still a personal choice and you’re right too, no doubt, but they are still entitled to their truth because only they know what pushed them to become what they are today. Truth is life has screwed us all in one way or the other and it is possibly only grace that kept some of us from taking certain nasty paths. 😊 

It is even more true that we have sexualized women since the days of our ancestors. You may not buy that, but it’s still my truth 😂. We keep lying to ourselves but many a man grew up seeing women as sexual objects (for the most part); to be dominated and to be used at will for their satisfaction. 

Trust me, even almost every married Christian man (the revered “men of God” alike) want or sometimes force their wives to behave like “prostitutes” or “porn stars” in the bedroom and give them mind blowing sex. They want them to give them all the crazy, adventurous, fascinating, fetish, etc sexual positions that they see boldly written in the Bible or that God Himself reveals to them (only God knows where they learn all those styles, after acting as if they don’t look at any sexual material 😊). 

The “Sugar Daddy” or “Sponsor” lifestyle is simply a real issue in society and Moesha is simply admitting to it

In today’s world of sexual revolution or liberation, when the same women we have sexualized for ages are embracing 100% their sexuality, flaunting it and using it to “their advantage” (whether the right way or the wrong way), the “outwardly religious but inwardly sinful men” like us are now the ones crying wolf. We start acting like we can’t live any longer with the “seductive monsters” we ourselves have created or helped to create. 

Sadly, it appears like any sexual immorality a man engages in with a woman is OK and justified on the part of the men, but not for the women. Welcome to a world where a man and a woman are involved in the same ” sexual sin” but the woman is the one who must at all cost take the fall for it. A man has a million mistresses and that’s cool; but the problem is the mistresses who are so cheap, lazy, gold diggers, immoral, and all the negative labels you can think of but not the man. Seriously? 

A rich man’s power or the influence of a man in authority, his ability to coerce a woman to have his way with her is always totally forgotten. No blame at all is given to the men. It is rather always the women who don’t know how to keep their legs closed or their breasts covered, or know how to carry themselves modestly, bla bla bla. This is not to the defense of the ills of any woman; but it’s often just the reality they face. 

We forget that it’s about the same power a very sexy and seductive woman has on a man (whether married or not) when she learns well her game and how to play it, just like the rich powerful married men who keep chasing anything in skirt or with a big behind. The seductive woman knows how every man loves sex and how dumb many a man gets when it comes to sex, so she plays it to her advantage. It’s the same way every man knows how women love money and comfort and can easily fall for it, so they use that as bait. 

So, we have on our hands a situation where a man uses his riches and power to get any woman he likes (married or not) and society is cool with it and talks less about it. Flip the script and a woman uses her sexuality and seductive prowess to get any man she likes (married or not) that can take good care of her and society is at war with her. She is the devil, not the man. Smh.

If there were no men patronizing people like Moesha, probably she would have stopped? But no, the men are lining up to have a feel of her. Like someone asked, “which man wouldn’t want a body like that? They even wish secretly in their hearts that their wives had a body like that”. 😂 How sad but how true (at least for majority of men). 

Well, as for me sitting in my “one corner” somewhere, what do I know? I don’t know who is right or who is wrong; I only know these are the realities in our world. And I can only say here that, probably all the men should brace up for the sexual revolution of our dear women because I don’t see it ending anytime soon! They are really taking matters into their own hands and seem to no longer care where we put the blame or whatever names we label them. 

It’s not my fault they claim they are now “liberating” themselves or coming to term with or embracing their sexuality and throwing it in our face. 😂😜

Nonetheless, one thing is also true: life has a way of paying us all back for our individual choices, for whatever a man/woman sows is what they reap

©Mark Gadogbe (McApple), 2018

(Ps: Just random unguarded thoughts which may be right or wrong, so take it or leave it 😊).

Death always teaches us about life

My biggest lesson and comprehension of life came from my mother’s death…and I’ve never been afraid to think about death or to talk about it since. But one thing I know is the experience has somehow made me an open minded person because I searched for so many answers. Sometimes my family wonders why I talk about death so much as if it is cool and seem to have a seemingly weird way of thinking. To some of them, they would rather not even think about death because they feel the more one thinks about or speaks about it, one is somehow inviting it into ones life. 
But I know if you’re in this life and all you think about is life, you’re missing it. You need to think about death because sometimes it takes someone’s death to teach you some valuable unforgettable lessons about life. Death is part of life and we have to accept that many times it throws a lot of surprises. Very many surprises…like the death of Ghana’s very own beautiful, young, vibrant, talented and sexy Ebony Reigns. Yes, I included sexy in describing her because sexy is never a bad thing, whether you like it or not. 😊

God is the giver of life and talents, but not all lives will be appreciated and not all talents will be seen as profitable to God or society…in the eyes of some people. No matter who you are, all of society will not accept you even if you do all you can to please them. Society can never love you for the totality of who you are…only God can! And it’s not entirely their fault because they can’t see the depths of a person’s heart as God sees it

Yeah, it’s right that “out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks” and that “by their fruits we shall know them”, etc; but sometimes we need to look deep into a person’s heart before we judge them, condemn them or write them off. That’s how we kill people and their dreams even before they mature…quick judgements and instant disapprovals even in the Church. Sometimes I don’t know how different the Church is from society because we’ve messed it all up. 

It’s true that all a person can know about you is what you put out there. They can never know the depths of your heart and the extent of your connection with God, even if you act a certain way in Church or in society…only God sees your heart. 

I believe almost all gifts find their source with God. And irrespective of who we are in life and how we use those gifts, we are all searching for God to fully understand who He is and that’s why we can all not be at the same level of understanding of who God is and how we relate with Him. Truth is, He deals with, reveals Himself and relates with all of us differently. 

It is sad to know that not all Pastors (or us Christians) even will go to heaven, yet we are the same people who judge others so much more than we pray for them or even show them a bit of kindness. Humanity goes beyond religion…we are humans first before our quest for spiritual perfection and moral uprightness. 

We really seem to forget always that we are humans first before everything else turned us against each other. Even religion (e.g. Christianity) that was supposed to have made us better has made a lot of us worse (we use our religion as a cover to hide all the ills we do secretly and only paint those whose sins are in the open as the ones not deserving of grace but death). 

Never for once do we put aside everything and just be humans…created to feel for our own species. 

It’s very sad that everyone who is not a Christian we are quick to conclude is having bad influence on society and so their death shouldn’t matter. It is just sad because how many of us have family members who are not Christians yet their death will be a pain to us? Well, like I always say, if it never hits right at home, you will never understand what it means to lose someone…just anybody. When your time comes, you will know.  

Every human being is a soul and every soul has value, depending on how you look at it. No loss (death) is ever easy to bear. Only God knows the right answers to the questions we ask when people die and I sure can bet that sometimes, there are many who we mark for hell on earth because of certain lifestyles they have yet they transit into heaven…because in their dying moment something strange happens. Consider the sinner on the cross with Jesus. 

Our hearts must express sadness for all lost souls and their families…it’s just the right thing to feel as a human being. 

The world would be a better place if we put humanity above our differences and not make society and our denominational identities corrupt the values inherent in our humanness. 

Society has a way of forcing a certain imprint on you and call you all sorts of names just because they think you don’t fit in. Churches want you to look a certain way to fit in. Your family wants you to look a certain way to fit in. Your work place wants you to look a certain way to fit in. Your friends want you to look a certain way to fit in. Everywhere you go, you have to adopt a certain different personality to fit in. There’s therefore so many sides to a person. 

No wonder we act differently when we are in church than when we are in different other spheres within society (the world). Everybody is crying wolf their opinion about you or their way of life is the right way for you to adopt. So yeah, it’s cool when society doesn’t appreciate ones many sides and it takes ones death for them to now see the full package. 

But it’s very sad though and we need to rise above that! Till then we can only pray God continues to bless our hustle! 

Rest well Ebony! Your hustle has ended but society’s ill judgements will continue. We hope we survive it. There’s a lesson in your death…and we hope we learn it. 

©Mark Gadogbe (McApple), 2018

Dating is easy…Marriage is hard work

​Marriage preparations do not end at the altar

You are allowed a temporary sigh of relief and accomplishment at the altar…but almost immediately begins real work; a new reality. Dating is easy…Marriage is hard work. 

When in doubt, remember all the billion people who couldn’t keep it together even at the easy dating stage. If dating could not last…marriage could not too. You may not like that reality but it’s just the simple truth. 

God meant marriage to be forever, of course your Pastor told you that; but it’s not always forever if you don’t put in the works. And who says your Pastor’s marriage is all rosy and a heavenly Jerusalem 24/7; don’t believe that lie, they just want you to see it that way. They go through every thing every normal marriage goes through; are they Jesus? How will you feel if your Pastor comes to say on the pulpit “things are not going too well with my marriage but we’re still working things out”. You think it’s not a possibility? The Pastor’s marriage has good times and bad times just like every other marriage. 

There are no perfect marriages; yours wouldn’t be either. So, chin up and let go of all the fantasies!