“I don’t have a problem with that at all. In fact, I will say yes to any lady that will propose to me but she should make sure that right after that, she comes to see my parents and collect the marriage items (dowry) and marry me and not the other way round”.
This day and age where people are becoming transgender and going into marriage without disclosing their true identities to their unsuspecting spouses is truly scary. In effect, they are making people unconsciously gay or lesbian. Because if I could be married to a man-turned-woman for a year without the slightest knowledge or cue, then the person has made me technically gay against my wish. 😂
My wife told me a true story that was shared on a social media platform she’s part of. Apparently, a man is in his 6 years of marriage and his “wife” (who was born male) and desperately wants kids but they are not coming. Now he’s been suggesting going to see a fertility specialist but his “most beautiful and elegant wife” sensing the truth will come out if they go, keeps finding reasons to prevent them from going. Now “she” doesn’t also know how best to come out clean to the man “she” claims to love for six good years and she’s out on social media anonymously seeking advice!
Guess, it’s no longer enough in our children’s future world to ask “were you born male or female” before accepting to marry people but they must go beyond to see at least childhood pictures displaying the genitals huh? 😂
In fact, I will surely tell my daughter not to marry any “man” who says he doesn’t have a childhood picture to start with. Who knows, she may even need to go and check the hospital records where he says he was born. Seriously, our children will need to do more due diligence in their choice of a life partner than we did. Surely, our parenting work is really going to be tough. Let’s brace up because this things are real.
I have to apologize that today’s post may be very controversial or too blunt to a select group of people or people who hold a particular opinion.
For all the ladies who blame all their relationship failures on men, I think they should go have a rethink. Call men dogs as much as you can but that wouldn’t change a thing; the worse it will do is make them more dogs to your disadvantage.
You see, because men are naturally the chasers, some of you ladies just sit down and do nothing and even after a man has won you over, you still do nothing…you still sit and wait to be chased and loved. Being at the receiving end always is the mindset of many of you ladies! Well, that’s good and men don’t mind doing that…but that’s where you are your own enemies sometimes.
Let me put it this way, the position of men as the chasers have made them learn their trade and it’s high time you ladies get up and learn yours. I’m not at all advocating that you become the chasers. Maybe when you read on, you will get it.
Do you know what a man goes through to get a woman he is interested in? Basically they do all they can to learn and get to know almost everything they can about the woman. They basically do a lot of researching anywhere, anyhow. Ask any guy and he will tell you whether he has not read one book or the other on women, looked at internet articles on women, etc. Don’t be surprised at the many men out there looking through sexual internet sites in a way just to learn how to please a woman (I’m not encouraging that though). You will even be amazed at the quantum of information out there about women. In effect, men get to know a lot of basic stuff about women (though “mysterious” beings most times).
The point is many of the ladies complaining about men sometimes know close to nothing about the men they have in their lives and how to please them so they can stick and stay. All many such ladies do is burden their men with many frivolous requests of buy me this, buy me that, send me money for my hair, shoe, dress, rent, etc. And when the few of their fellow ladies out there who do their homework well start getting their man’s attention off them, they start nagging and saying “men just can’t do without sex, they just can’t have enough of it, they can’t resist anything in pants“. I’m sorry to burst your bubble but many times it’s not just sex that keeps a man…men have very deep needs beyond sex.
Perhaps all you will ever know about men is reducing them to sex lovers…but I bet there’s a lot more about men that you have not focused your mind on to learn. You leave that to the ones you call “whores” and quite sadly though, they have learned to become good at what they do. You think they were just born that way? Ask many of them and you will know they learnt their trade. If any woman who snatches your man is a whore, then maybe there is something “good” they are doing that you’re not?
Well, men like creativity and trying out new stuff and mostly get frustrated with the same old thing, but shhss, don’t you ladies do same? Should I mention the new dresses, new hairstyles, new shoes, new jewelries, etc. that you want all the time? And isn’t that all some of you ladies focus your attention on even in a relationship? Some even claim they do it for the men, to look good for them. Well, very good…continue in that path alone.
Let me tell you my dear ladies, no man in his right sense will have a Jaguar at home and go looking out for a Kia car! Unless, there is something wrong with that Jaguar. So, learn to tend your garden very well and focus on the right things, the right priorities. Remember Mary and Martha and how the Bible said in Luke 10:42 that “only one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her“. To keep a man, you need to draw attention to his very soul, the very things that make him a man, his dream, aspirations, etc. You can’t do that with just sex and neither can you do that if you don’t take time to study him well and help build him up.
Get up! and go learn something about men and discover their other elements. I tell you, men are the easiest to tame. Even the dogs you equate them with have being the best of man’s animal companion. But here’s the thing, you can’t even tame or train a dog if you know less to nothing about them! Get to work and start doing your homework well.
If you come back after reading this with those lousy remarks that men are dogs, then you are just incapable of managing a man.
You think the Bible saying “A GOOD MAN IS HARD TO FIND” is just for you quoting it aloud? You don’t even know that’s in the Bible, right? Oh, you think it’s only about “A VIRTUOUS WOMAN WHO CAN FIND“? and so you sit down waiting to be found and after you have been found you still waiting to be told what to do?
Then again, I think many of you have a crazy mentality that makes you think only men need women in their life because God said “It is not good for a man to live alone“. If it’s good for a woman to live alone, then glory hallelujah!
THE CHOICE IS YOURS as always. If you think you deserve a man in your life as a lady, then get up and go learn all you can about men and manage well that good man God blesses u with. Life is not all about wearing nice shoes and dresses and putting on nice makeup to get a man to sleep with you. Your value beyond that is what will determine if you will be kept as a life partner or ditched to the gutters.
So, the hot, sexy, curvaceous Moesha Buduong is trending in the news again for admitting in an interview with CNN’s Christiane Amanpour to being a Mistress (side chick) to a married man (who has many other Mistresses). And all of a sudden sexuality issues are up for discussion again. But, as for me, all I know is that I don’t want to take sides but in our part of the world, we know we have demonized everything sexual so much that it blinds us to real issues on the subject.
Almost everybody in our part of the world lies about sex (even though they engage in it secretly) and it is always a problem if someone, especially women are openly expressive about sex (or speaking whatever is their own truth). Then, almost immediately, everybody else becomes a saint who has never had sex before and we begin to label the “innocent victim” for speaking out “their truth”.
Again, it’s true that you don’t have to buy in to their truth but it is still their truth…after all, have you experienced the same things they have experienced growing up? Or you don’t even think that there are some people who have become very “sexually immoral” just because of some childhood sexual abuse they suffered? Not saying that’s the case of Moesha and her likes though…but it could be? You say it’s still a personal choice and you’re right too, no doubt, but they are still entitled to their truth because only they know what pushed them to become what they are today. Truth is life has screwed us all in one way or the other and it is possibly only grace that kept some of us from taking certain nasty paths. 😊
It is even more true that we have sexualized women since the days of our ancestors. You may not buy that, but it’s still my truth 😂. We keep lying to ourselves but many a man grew up seeing women as sexual objects (for the most part); to be dominated and to be used at will for their satisfaction.
Trust me, even almost every married Christian man (the revered “men of God” alike) want or sometimes force their wives to behave like “prostitutes” or “porn stars” in the bedroom and give them mind blowing sex. They want them to give them all the crazy, adventurous, fascinating, fetish, etc sexual positions that they see boldly written in the Bible or that God Himself reveals to them (only God knows where they learn all those styles, after acting as if they don’t look at any sexual material 😊).
In today’s world of sexual revolution or liberation, when the same women we have sexualized for ages are embracing 100% their sexuality, flaunting it and using it to “their advantage” (whether the right way or the wrong way), the “outwardly religious but inwardly sinful men” like us are now the ones crying wolf. We start acting like we can’t live any longer with the “seductive monsters” we ourselves have created or helped to create.
Sadly, it appears like any sexual immorality a man engages in with a woman is OK and justified on the part of the men, but not for the women. Welcome to a world where a man and a woman are involved in the same ” sexual sin” but the woman is the one who must at all cost take the fall for it. A man has a million mistresses and that’s cool; but the problem is the mistresses who are so cheap, lazy, gold diggers, immoral, and all the negative labels you can think of but not the man. Seriously?
A rich man’s power or the influence of a man in authority, his ability to coerce a woman to have his way with her is always totally forgotten. No blame at all is given to the men. It is rather always the women who don’t know how to keep their legs closed or their breasts covered, or know how to carry themselves modestly, bla bla bla. This is not to the defense of the ills of any woman; but it’s often just the reality they face.
We forget that it’s about the same power a very sexy and seductive woman has on a man (whether married or not) when she learns well her game and how to play it, just like the rich powerful married men who keep chasing anything in skirt or with a big behind. The seductive woman knows how every man loves sex and how dumb many a man gets when it comes to sex, so she plays it to her advantage. It’s the same way every man knows how women love money and comfort and can easily fall for it, so they use that as bait.
So, we have on our hands a situation where a man uses his riches and power to get any woman he likes (married or not) and society is cool with it and talks less about it. Flip the script and a woman uses her sexuality and seductive prowess to get any man she likes (married or not) that can take good care of her and society is at war with her. She is the devil, not the man. Smh.
If there were no men patronizing people like Moesha, probably she would have stopped? But no, the men are lining up to have a feel of her. Like someone asked, “which man wouldn’t want a body like that? They even wish secretly in their hearts that their wives had a body like that”. 😂 How sad but how true (at least for majority of men).
Well, as for me sitting in my “one corner” somewhere, what do I know? I don’t know who is right or who is wrong; I only know these are the realities in our world. And I can only say here that, probably all the men should brace up for the sexual revolution of our dear women because I don’t see it ending anytime soon! They are really taking matters into their own hands and seem to no longer care where we put the blame or whatever names we label them.
It’s not my fault they claim they are now “liberating” themselves or coming to term with or embracing their sexuality and throwing it in our face. 😂😜
Nonetheless, one thing is also true: life has a way of paying us all back for our individual choices, for whatever a man/woman sows is what they reap.
My biggest lesson and comprehension of life came from my mother’s death…and I’ve never been afraid to think about death or to talk about it since. But one thing I know is the experience has somehow made me an open minded person because I searched for so many answers. Sometimes my family wonders why I talk about death so much as if it is cool and seem to have a seemingly weird way of thinking. To some of them, they would rather not even think about death because they feel the more one thinks about or speaks about it, one is somehow inviting it into ones life.
But I know if you’re in this life and all you think about is life, you’re missing it. You need to think about death because sometimes it takes someone’s death to teach you some valuable unforgettable lessons about life. Death is part of life and we have to accept that many times it throws a lot of surprises. Very many surprises…like the death of Ghana’s very own beautiful, young, vibrant, talented and sexy Ebony Reigns. Yes, I included sexy in describing her because sexy is never a bad thing, whether you like it or not. 😊
God is the giver of life and talents, but not all lives will be appreciated and not all talents will be seen as profitable to God or society…in the eyes of some people. No matter who you are, all of society will not accept you even if you do all you can to please them. Society can never love you for the totality of who you are…only God can! And it’s not entirely their fault because they can’t see the depths of a person’s heart as God sees it.
Yeah, it’s right that “out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks” and that “by their fruits we shall know them”, etc; but sometimes we need to look deep into a person’s heart before we judge them, condemn them or write them off. That’s how we kill people and their dreams even before they mature…quick judgements and instant disapprovals even in the Church. Sometimes I don’t know how different the Church is from society because we’ve messed it all up.
It’s true that all a person can know about you is what you put out there. They can never know the depths of your heart and the extent of your connection with God, even if you act a certain way in Church or in society…only God sees your heart.
I believe almost all gifts find their source with God. And irrespective of who we are in life and how we use those gifts, we are all searching for God to fully understand who He is and that’s why we can all not be at the same level of understanding of who God is and how we relate with Him. Truth is, He deals with, reveals Himself and relates with all of us differently.
It is sad to know that not all Pastors (or us Christians) even will go to heaven, yet we are the same people who judge others so much more than we pray for them or even show them a bit of kindness. Humanity goes beyond religion…we are humans first before our quest for spiritual perfection and moral uprightness.
We really seem to forget always that we are humans first before everything else turned us against each other. Even religion (e.g. Christianity) that was supposed to have made us better has made a lot of us worse (we use our religion as a cover to hide all the ills we do secretly and only paint those whose sins are in the open as the ones not deserving of grace but death).
Never for once do we put aside everything and just be humans…created to feel for our own species.
It’s very sad that everyone who is not a Christian we are quick to conclude is having bad influence on society and so their death shouldn’t matter. It is just sad because how many of us have family members who are not Christians yet their death will be a pain to us? Well, like I always say, if it never hits right at home, you will never understand what it means to lose someone…just anybody. When your time comes, you will know.
Every human being is a soul and every soul has value, depending on how you look at it. No loss (death) is ever easy to bear. Only God knows the right answers to the questions we ask when people die and I sure can bet that sometimes, there are many who we mark for hell on earth because of certain lifestyles they have yet they transit into heaven…because in their dying moment something strange happens. Consider the sinner on the cross with Jesus.
Our hearts must express sadness for all lost souls and their families…it’s just the right thing to feel as a human being.
The world would be a better place if we put humanity above our differences and not make society and our denominational identities corrupt the values inherent in our humanness.
Society has a way of forcing a certain imprint on you and call you all sorts of names just because they think you don’t fit in. Churches want you to look a certain way to fit in. Your family wants you to look a certain way to fit in. Your work place wants you to look a certain way to fit in. Your friends want you to look a certain way to fit in. Everywhere you go, you have to adopt a certain different personality to fit in. There’s therefore so many sides to a person.
No wonder we act differently when we are in church than when we are in different other spheres within society (the world). Everybody is crying wolf their opinion about you or their way of life is the right way for you to adopt. So yeah, it’s cool when society doesn’t appreciate ones many sides and it takes ones death for them to now see the full package.
But it’s very sad though and we need to rise above that! Till then we can only pray God continues to bless our hustle!
Rest well Ebony! Your hustle has ended but society’s ill judgements will continue. We hope we survive it. There’s a lesson in your death…and we hope we learn it.
You are allowed a temporary sigh of relief and accomplishment at the altar…but almost immediately begins real work; a new reality. Dating is easy…Marriage is hard work.
When in doubt, remember all the billion people who couldn’t keep it together even at the easy dating stage. If dating could not last…marriage could not too. You may not like that reality but it’s just the simple truth.
God meant marriage to be forever, of course your Pastor told you that; but it’s not always forever if you don’t put in the works. And who says your Pastor’s marriage is all rosy and a heavenly Jerusalem 24/7; don’t believe that lie, they just want you to see it that way. They go through every thing every normal marriage goes through; are they Jesus? How will you feel if your Pastor comes to say on the pulpit “things are not going too well with my marriage but we’re still working things out”. You think it’s not a possibility? The Pastor’s marriage has good times and bad times just like every other marriage.
There are no perfect marriages; yours wouldn’t be either. So, chin up and let go of all the fantasies!
There are people in church who commit worse sins than people in the world yet they always feel they are better than the people “in the world”. They feel they should be the only beneficiaries of the grace of God. In life, it is sad that it is the one whose sins are in the open that is seen as the worse or baddest of all human creations.
It is always surprising for me why we Christians tend to judge people so much…because just a minute’s reflection before you pass judgement on another would have shown you how much of a sinner yourself you are. I thought it is by grace that we ourselves have been saved and not because of any special privilege? I thought it’s the Church that says there’s no greater sin and that every sin is a sin, that the sin of murder is as equal as the sin of lying or even covetousness?
It’s such a shame the way we make the Gospel of Christ look these days!
Is is not Paul that said in 1 Cor 9:22 that, “…I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some“? How is that even possible when today’s Christian always feels he is better that everybody else among God’s creations?
It’s truly scary that the Gospel of Christ is becoming everything else except the Gospel of love and one that reaches out to even the worse of sinners. This is what happens when today’s men of God care so much about their reputation in society than demonstrating love to those who are seen to be “of the world”.
Shame on us!
Man of God, keep acquiring the wealth, keep preaching only in the comfort of your “big churches” and only to Christians…and keep giving yourselves whatever titles imaginable as men of God, and keep being happy about the death of souls that God sent you out to go and snatch from the pit of hell and keep being concerned about only your offertories in Church.
Keep being only concerned about the monetary benefits or blessings of being a child of God. Keep being busy about preaching only in churches (or from church to church) because of the honorarium or “small envelopes” you give each other for honouring invitations amongst yourselves. Keep forsaking the souls trooping to night clubs, orgies, strip clubs, pubs, souls on the streets, etc because no “small envelopes” comes from that, except the risk to your reputation of going to such places with the Gospel. We know you intercede fervently for us your members do that no harm comes to us, but you need to do more and stand in the gap even more for the unsaved souls out there. When God gives you an opportunity for a soul that needs saving, you need to chase after them; they don’t need to chase after you, I guess?
Do you even hold one single crusade outside of your church in a year these days? Do you even give just a small part of the monies you keep asking us to sow in church day and night to orphanages and other charities so we can also assuage our consciences of not doing anything for the less privileged in society? Except for invites for which if you are lucky one or two “worldly people” pass through the church, what else are you doing to go out there? You have left that work to campus ministries whose “Students In Church Evangelism (SICE) crusades you have even refused to support lately because to you the “mother churches”, the logistics (expenditure) is always greater than the number of souls won and churches planted from these student programs.
I thought you believed that no amount of money can compare with the value of a single soul for whom Christ paid the ultimate price?
Thank God your judgement would be greater as men of God. But for me, I pray God does not strike us down, especially you “men of God”. May He rather have mercy on our souls and be patient with us to change our own ways even in the house of God. It is really our souls that God should have mercy on because it will be much more regrettable if we ourselves miss the mark of the upward calling.
Of all the children in the world whose beautiful pictures get shared on the internet or social media or even make it onto invitation cards and dps, it is my own that you fear for that something bad or evil will happen to? I don’t care whoever you are, but you must be ashamed of yourselves to even think that of any child anywhere in the world.
It’s unsettling to start with that you are even thinking the worse will happen to an innocent child and not rather praying that she will live and succeed in life irrespective of your supposed “wrong and immature decisions” of the parents. What has bewitched our brains in this part of the world to always be so backward thinking and so superstitious? And the way we go about it (the approach) as if it is our exclusive right as media or moral watchdogs to tell people what to do or not to do is so disgusting to say the least sometimes (please you won’t go to Hell for your failure to do certain things if that’s your push 😂). This is not a personal attack but I’ve had far too many “morally upright” folks trying to force their way into my personal life and business and I feel it’s right to share a few sentiments of my own.
Truth is that we don’t assume everyone feels the same way about social media and what gets on it — and you don’t approach this sometimes very sensitive issue as if your rules are better than those of others because the honest truth is that it all comes down to personal preferences or choices.
I have always maintained that life is freedom and it is plain stupid sometimes to want people to live their life the way you live yours. The fact that you are uncomfortable with something does not mean everybody should be uncomfortable with it. The fact that you decide as your personal lifestyle to do or not do something does not mean it should become the universally accepted rule of life or yardstick for judging moral conduct.
You see eh, this year 2018 eh, I don’t want to take any nonsense from anybody. You see, we are not dumb not to know that we’re not the first to be parents and neither will we be the last. It was not you that told us whether it was right or wrong to get married at whatever age we decided to…it was not you that made the choice of a partner for us, neither was it you that financed it even at the time that we both had no gainful employment. It was not you that made the decision for us about not having a child whilst married and still in school and rather wait until now. And if God has blessed us now with a child, we are accountable only to Him.
Having this child has been entirely our personal decision and every decision we make regarding this child throughout her life on earth will be our sole prerogative or responsibility. In this part of our world, we talk too much and want to express opinions about everything that involves the life of another…whatever we think gives us that right to, I don’t know. What’s even more sad is that we appear only more interested in killing people’s joy or pushing negativities.
You see, everybody in my family or life that has known me very well knows that it is not today that I am going to play very nice to uninvited opinions that don’t have any grounded basis but are merely sentimental and based on individual preferences. Say I’m proud or whatever, I have never cared and won’t start to care now. There are boundaries and we need to always respect them – I don’t know why people don’t know that.
Whatever anybody decides to do with their child is none of my business; so, I don’t go about telling people whether they are treating their child right or wrong…when it borders on documented legal or cultural violations, the laws of the land will take action. So, you can put him/her in a dustbin I don’t care and you can wait until they are 18 years to be able to give you their legal consent before you feed them, bath them, clothe them, allow them to shit on you, take them out to public places, beg them to take a picture of them or show them to the world, I don’t care. It’s your problem if you want to get your child to consent before you do anything that relates to that child – you might as well keep them in your womb until they attain the legal age of 18 or get them talking the minute they are born.
It’s entirely your problem if you want to hide your child from the whole world because there are too many evil eyes – you might as well keep them only within the four walls of your room and not take them to the hospital, school, market square, city centre, and even church (because there are evil people in church too that will want to sap the life out of your child 😂). It’s your problem if you are too afraid that because the internet never forgets and your child didn’t give his/her consent before you posted a beautiful picture of them or news of their birth, they will grow up to chance upon it and probably hate you for life or sue you. Need I ask here also, what’s the difference between not using or sharing a picture of a newborn on social media and waiting until they are 1 year or above…what consent does a 1 year or 5 years child give or waiting until they are that age means the enemies out there can’t kill them anymore? You see why your preference is simply your preference?
You don’t have to rub your personal fears on anybody and try to make it the morally upright rule or “matured way of doing things”. Let me remain immature in my personal decisions and life choices – as long as you’re not the one feeding me, I don’t care about your “maturity titles”.
Everything you decide to do in life as an adult is your personal choice and based on your fears or experiences of life. I agree not everybody has had a positive experience in life based on their background and the families they are coming from (or the spirits that are chasing them in life) but there are no rules in life that says that your personal fears has to be my fears or your personal choices should be mine as well and that it’s wrong if I do not do what you do.
We decided exclusively whether it was right or wrong to inform anybody we were expecting a child and when exactly we should, that we had put to bed, that we were naming and dedicating the child, that you are welcome to visit or not…and by extension only we will ultimately decide whether you have any part to play in the life of the child or not. When we don’t give you that exclusive right, you don’t take it because you are whoever…at best, you play a spectator role. 😂 As for being happy for us or not, we have no control over it…it’s entirely your choice. 😜
IT’S NOT LOVE…when it trifles with your soft heart and piece by piece tears it apart and having won dumps you in a grave of pain, scarring your life with grief and bequeathing to you debts of regret!
Many people today are afraid to hope because they have been hurt so much in life.
They have had so many disappointments and so many relationship and marital breakups that they don’t think they can face the pain of another. They are left with emotional scars and baggage from past failed relationships or marriages that has wrecked their trust and skyrocketed their fears.
They have lost all their beautiful smiles, joys, trust, confidence…and the Devil has taken advantage to set up in them negative thoughts, lifestyles and false realities.
LORD WE NEED YOU TO SHOW YOURSELF MIGHTY IN SUCH LIVES. RESTORE THEIR HOPE AND LET THEM KNOW YOU’RE ABLE TO TURN THINGS AROUND!
Help them let go of the past and trust in Your promise of a better future. Help them realize that in Isaiah 43:19, You told Your people not to dwell on the past but to recognize that You’re doing something new.
Constantly remind them of the truth found in Psalm 147:3, that you God heals the broken.