The Wait, a Wilderness Feeling

Sometimes I get discouraged at my journey, looking at where I have reached versus where I had wanted to be. It is not a good feeling.

For some of us, our dreams stagnated because we had to postpone many things to help others on the way. Sometimes you feel proud that God had to use you to give others hope and a shot at life. Other times, you feel downcast or low spirited seeing your present circumstance and the success of many folks you started with, and you know deep within you that you could have reached so much heights had the burdens been light.

Many times you would hope and pray that those you had to be a light to in their dark moments would stand with you in your low moments. But such a hope is also a big gamble because you have real scars, memories and histories of abandonment by even those you once shared a womb and a bed. Once bitten, twice shy, they say…so it makes sense to stop making sacrifices for people, but your nature seems to abhor “putting yourself first”. Not that you cannot make yourself the foremost and perhaps only priority, but your conscience always wins at dissuading you.

You are grateful for where God took you from to where you are now. But you are also dissatisfied with the present and dying for a change, for a new breakthrough, for quick answers to silent prayers. You feel you have long stayed in a wilderness situation and just a new wind of change will give you great joy and renewed hope.

When will that happen? When will God answer your heartfelt prayers? That is the bigger battle.  Not that you have not read many times the Biblical encouragement “do not be anxious about anything…Phil 4:6-7”, but waiting is indeed frustrating. They say it pays to wait but for now, “it pains to wait”. But hang in we must. To keep hopes alive and keep praying for a miracle and a turnaround we must.

Every once in a while we all deserve a good thing to lift our spirits up, don’t we?

©Mark Gadogbe, 2023

Spending enough time together

Every good relationship needs spending lots of time together to GROW it. The moment, as a man, you say the magic words to your significant other, spending time with her becomes like her human right and if she does not get it, she’ll demand it big time.

But, a big question often asked is “how much time is too much time“? This question mostly arises because many guys feel their women demand too much of their time, and on the part of the ladies, it seems no matter the amount of time a man spends with them, he only seems to meet just about a quarter of what she needs.

Just recently, a guy mentioned that his girlfriend broke up with him over complains of he not making or spending enough time with her, does not call her often, etc. He felt those are frivolous demands. When asked if he thinks in his own estimation he does spend enough time with her girlfriend, he blurted out he spends even way too much.

Guess every relationship gets to experience those demand for time issues. I’m sure many people can relate.

©Mark Gadogbe (2022)

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Unappreciated

One day, those who think we don’t care enough will realize we were the ones who cared most for them after all. Just maybe it will be too late then.

Many times we break our back for people but they don’t see it because we always put them in front or ahead of us and our own needs. That is simply because of how much we love or value them, but if they were behind us or had we made their needs secondary to ours, they would have seen.

Sometimes, people make you want to regret being there for them or losing yourself to rather make their dreams come true. Later, they begin to treat you or relate with you like you had no dreams of your own. They begin to make you feel like you are a loser – and they probably are right when you begin to think about all the years, time and resources you have lost “supporting” them. People are in many ways ungrateful and forget so easily how our own dreams died to keep theirs alive.

Maybe the problem is people being wired to think it does not cost a thing to help others or some are just born deserving of help like some kind of a birthright (they call it grace). Helping people costs so much…it did cost Jesus His life! Grace did come at a cost. Duh!

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©Mark Gadogbe, 2022

Love songs

Everyone is a poet. Just wait until they find love and be intoxicated by it. The things they will say can make up a “profane” song if you should compose a song with their words; Pastors or the holiest of Christians alike. 😂😜

Sometimes it is difficult to tell if the profanity of a song is just because of the words used, or because the composers do not identify as Christians. I am tempted to believe the possibility that Christians in love (married or not) sometimes spew words with more sexual, sensual or “profane” undertones than some worldly song composers. I cannot for one imagine that two very pure Christians in a relationship would only be exchanging scriptures or discussing Bible and not have sexual feelings towards each other or communicating same without the use of some words or strong descriptors that crosses the purity line.

Love and sexuality are such a strong mix of emotions that we cannot live in denial of. They can sometimes break the strongest of defenses, take over a person and get them communicating their truest feelings, mostly lustful feelings that will make beautiful poems or love songs. There is some certainty of a strong mix of lust in even the purest of human love. If you have never fallen in love before, you can deny that lust does coexist with love.

Love must be expressed and it often finds its expression in communicating our deepest or truest of feelings in sometimes the most vivid, explicit and unrestrained ways possible, mostly galvanised with a bit of sensual undertones.

Relationships must be so boring without a bit of lustfulness in the mix. And trust me, every lustful thoughts in a relationship that may find its expression on paper will make up a profane song. One can only imagine how the holiest of Pastors even get their wives in the mood for a hot and holy sexual encounter. I bet they get their wives horny with a great dose of scriptures that when put on paper will make a gospel song. One would say after all, that is legal…they are married for God’s sake and are allowed to express lust. 😊

Never mind, I wasn’t trying to make any meaning with this post anyways; but you’re still blessed if it made just a bit of sense to you. 😀

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©Mark Gadogbe, 2022

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Love Sometimes Gets Messy

Love is a good thing; people make it messy.
Be careful the kind of advice you give to people in love or blinded by love…for good or for bad. Some people are not wise enough to read between the lines when you offer advice.

Someone once told me “when two lovers fight in a toxic relationship and you advice one to leave the other, the next time they have make-up sex and re-establish their bond, the mess will be on you, because the one you advised will surely tell the other you proposed that they break up”.

Yes, it happens all the time. That’s how unwise love makes some people.
So, it is always best to avoid rubbing your mouth into people’s love affairs, and be especially wise even when they invite you themselves into it!

We all get tangled in that web sometimes and you just don’t know what to say or not to say.
It’s not our fault though; love sometimes just gets so unavoidably messy! 😊

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©Mark Gadogbe, 2021

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Dear Women, It’s International Men’s Day! Hello?

International Men’s Day is celebrated on 19th November every year to celebrate men and address some important male issues. Unfortunately, it appears the day doesn’t receive as much buzz as its opposite, International Women’s Day, which is celebrated on March 8 every year.

I know it’s somehow sad that an important day as International Men’s Day passes every year without some women in our lives even realizing it. The least they could do is to use the day to recognize our existence as men and the positive roles we play (no matter how little) in their life and society as a whole, but somehow, it often appears there’s a grand scheme amongst some women to pretend not to know what day today is and what every little bit of appreciation means to men.

Maybe it’s not a grand scheme after all. Perhaps it’s just a sad reality that only a few men out there are influencing women’s lives positively enough to warrant a great celebration or recognition by the large army or population of women.

Perhaps, the reality might also just be that it is time for us men to embrace the sad fact that the world is progressively becoming feminine, and our essence in this new world might continue to be downplayed. We might as well awaken to the fact that it’s not just gender equality or balance that is being sought but female domination.

Perhaps, all men are needed for by some women in this “new feminist world” is to be sperm donors. If we are not lucky, that’s the only recognition we may continue to get. We may only find our worth when our “new age women” get tired of their dildos, so let’s fast and pray they do real quick…for our own good. 😂😜

In any case, may the good Lord continue to bless and lift up all women who continue to recognize, appreciate and celebrate the men in their life. Thank you for being our support system and life blood! 🙏🏾

Happy International Men’s Day to all men! May we continue to play our divine roles and fulfill God’s purpose in our lives. The world can still not do without us, under God’s divine order. 👏🏽💪🏽🙏🏾

©Mark Gadogbe, 2020

A gender-balanced post?

So, here I am thinking about the best form of asking a question without offending anyone. 😂🙈

Back in the days, one could easily get away with the question “Why get pregnant for a man you wouldn’t want to marry?“

But lately, a question like that could land one into trouble, irrespective of whether you wanted to direct the question to a particular gender, that is the female gender.

Most feminists would prefer or insist on the question rather asked as: “Why impregnate a woman who wouldn’t want to marry you or you wouldn’t want to marry?“

It’s probably the same question, or the import of the message might be same, but depending on the particular gender the message is directed to, it admittedly creates a totally different feel.

Sometimes our writer’s block does not stem from not having an idea or issue to write about. Sometimes it’s just the growing struggle to put on a gender-balanced lens so no gender gets pissed just because you said or wrote something directed at only one gender. Reality is that, many times, a topic or issue so simple to communicate becomes more difficult to put out just because of the need to use he/she or him/her. 😄🙈

©Mark Gadogbe, 2021

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A Eulogy for Breasts on ‘No Bra Day’

The breast in it’s full, firm and unclad glory holds a powerful attraction for men. Babies and grown men alike derive pleasure from those beautiful twin towers that adorn the chest of a woman.

A captivating seductive tool they truly are…how many mighty men have fallen at the sight or allure of breasts! Such beautiful divine work of art. Many a penis would admit ever rising or ‘beaming with life’ at a showy sight of a beautiful breast. Perhaps, it is partly that innate weakness in man that has driven the push for women to be well clad as part of the decency agenda. 😊

Breasts are undoubtedly a powerful addition to a woman’s self-confidence, beauty and feminine sexiness. Many women who feel inadequate and for many other reasons have gone great lengths to enhance their breasts through implants to keep them in the shape, form, size, looks and firmness they desire or feel will give them added self-worth.

As men, we appreciate breasts in all its glory and varieties and will always be sad that our go to source of happiness and pleasure, and that which has given life to many would also be sucking the life out of many life givers. Yes, women are life givers and we surely should sympathize with all women battling various degrees of breast cancer. No man will wish a woman go through that fight.

So, for all women out there fighting breast cancer, we pray for God’s divine healing and intervention for you. For all others, we urge you to take great care of your breasts and regularly undergo breast examination as it helps with early detection and prevention of breast cancer.

On a lighter note, any man would jump at the opportunity to examine his woman’s breasts – do let us. Anything to do with breasts, you can bet men will always be available and ready to roll. It is a divine call and not for nothing that the Bible even recommends in Isaiah 66:11 – “That you may nurse and be satisfied with her comforting breasts; That you may suck and be delighted with her bountiful bosom.” 😊

Don’t worry, we only advocate all that scriptural ‘nursing’ and ‘sucking’ within the bounds of marriage. 🙈

Surely, the Bible’s descriptions of breasts alone should tell you their worth to man. We can’t deny loving breasts any less than women themselves love their godly asset.

#Pinkoctober #BreastCancerAwareness #SaveTheBreast

©Mark Gadogbe, 2021

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Why are men so attracted to or desirous of beautiful women?

Men understand fully that women are very beautiful works of art…very well crafted with everything in the right place. It’s like God did a rushed work with men but took His time to mold the women.

Now, which man, dead or alive, will hate staring at and soaking in a beautiful masterpiece of art? Show me who?

The beauty, sexuality and sensuality of the female is simply a powerful attraction to a man. That is how God made it; I do not think it is Satan who has placed that thing in man that attracts him to beautiful, gorgeous women.

That is not to say it is totally justified to go beyond admiring to lusting…though there’s always that thin line in between. It’s not an easy battle though, all men can admit that – we’re not saints. Hello? 😃🙈

One man puts his battle with strong likeness for or attraction to women this way: “It is simply punishment that God Himself will place us in the midst of all these beautiful women tempting our eyes constantly with all manner of “admirable assets” and say we should not look or desire them. He should have just made us blind and then there will be no problem with lust“. 😂

One would wonder if women lust after or are desirous of men too, or it’s just a man’s battle? Perhaps women don’t openly admit stuff like that?

©Mark Gadogbe, 2021

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Death Note

You see, people die everyday, and people will always die as long as the earth exists.

I don’t care who we choose to blame when someone dies – some blame God and give up on Him. They are of the strong opinion that, He being a good God means He shouldn’t allow people to die. Perhaps, that’s a very limited way of thinking about it.

You see, when God took away the most important person in my life, He didn’t forget to leave me the most important lesson about life and death. That lesson for me is that when He (God) takes away a loved one from us, He makes sure He leaves what’s most important about the person with us – right here in our hearts. And that’s not for us to be bitter and hateful of Him (well, He still gives us the choice to), but to still know He cares enough to give us such a heart and fond memories of them.

Perhaps, a deep mind and strong grounding in Christ is required to fully comprehend God’s ways.

So here’s catch, when I die… hahaha, don’t worry, I will definitely die one day, for it’s only a fool who thinks he will never die; I only ask of you one thing: that you should not be bitter with my God, my maker. Can u do that?
I hope and I pray thee!! 😊

©Mark Gadogbe, 2021