Often times, we all come across questions like “should I give in to my boyfriend who keeps demanding sex? ” and it’s various variants. The usual and most sensible (or religious) response is of course don’t; never ever to a man you are not married to!
While those responses are very good (even though it’s easier given than practiced), I will definitely add that don’t you as a lady also constantly demand for money from him or make him spend on you!
That may appear an unfair addition but often times, there’s almost always a correlation which sometimes may not respect religious rules. Truth (for me) is that, whether you like it or not, the moment a man begins to spend his money on a woman he is not married to, he is most likely to start placing demands that often include sex. Somehow, he feels entitled to it.
Money is a man’s sweat and blood and every man naturally expects to get something back (returns) on money spent (their investment). Men have always made that very clear, sometimes in seemingly subtle ways. If the man you’re dating hasn’t, chances are sooner or later he will give you that hint of a “red flag” unless you stop being “dependent” on him financially.
The times we live in now, even the best of Christian men, who will be honest to themselves, will tell you that they are not just born generous so that they can continue to be a “milk cow” or “cash cow” for the “Christian Sisters”. I’ve spoken to a few Christian brothers and that seems to be the general line of thought. They will tell you that parting with their hard earned money has nothing to do with religion and they must naturally have the satisfaction of getting good returns on money spent. If they marry you and then spend on you, that’s great for them, but the mere satisfaction of dating and spending freely on a Christian sister “in hope for marriage” will not suffice. What if she ends up not marrying me?
Some argue that if giving sex to a man you’re not married to is wrong, then everything should be wrong also with being made to spend money on a woman you’re not married to. The crust of their argument is that money is to men what virginity is to women…they have almost equal value to the different sexes. A man values his sweat as much as a woman values saving herself until marriage. On the fun side, some said the feeling of being broke as a man is similar to the feeling of a woman breaking her virginity to some idiot. 😊
Again, some argue that, if only the women will stop asking for money at every turn in a relationship, possibly the men will not use it as a leverage to demand sex.
But the real question is, can today’s woman really decide to not live off a man before marriage? Is that even possible? The way women love money…can they really stop demanding money from the men in their lives in order to meet all their needs?
Both Christian men and women want to stay holy in their love relationships, no doubt. But men should not be made to or encouraged by Churches to run “charities” with their money in dating relationships while the women save themselves for the same mutually beneficial goal of marriage…especially in these time of clamouring for women empowerment. The empowerment must be holistic and affect every aspect of life.
Both sexes must be encouraged to save what’s most valuable to them…and it’s fair to say in these times, men seem to value money more than keeping their sexuality in check (saving themselves for marriage). Is it not true that it doesn’t worry a man that much if he loses his virginity but it worries a woman to death? Men must save their monies to spend on their wives and not their dates. The Churches must encourage that and create that balance in the call for holiness and sanctity of dating relationships.
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(Sorry and forgive me if my opinion is wrong or doesn’t make religious sense. Sometimes my carnal mind speaks unguarded 😊)
But why not share your thoughts with us? Will love to read them…we learn as we share!
©Mark Gadogbe (McApple), 2018
Everything Marriage 