True love, real love, genuine love….whatever!
Sometimes the problem is that many times the only definition and experience we (Christians) want to have of love is the 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 kind:
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
It’s not a bad thing to want to experience this kind of love. Of course that is the ideal thing; that’s the best (Christian) model of love and what everybody desires.
But what we often fail to realize, I think, is that in reality or field of practice, the fact of the matter is that love (and the person loving you) will not always be kind, will not always be patient, will not always trust, will not always hope, etc. Sometimes or many times, love (and the person loving you) actually causes pain, hurts, disappointments, heartbreaks, etc and then we begin to ask if this love is genuine, real, true, the God-kind, etc.
When expectations of love are raised so high, when we get obsessed with experiencing at all cost what’s ideal…we often risk many things and could possibly be living out a “lie” and we could become our own enemies.
Is it not William Shakespeare who said “expectation is the root of all heartache”? And is it not Pushkaraj Shirke who said “love doesn’t hurt. Expectations do”?
There’s nothing wrong with wanting a love that’s perfect; often it’s just a rare commodity!
Mark Gadogbe (McApple)
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