It’s surprising sometimes how we are able to always find time for every other thing or people in our lives except our spouses. We easily neglect our responsibilities to them claiming they should understand if they love us. They should understand we are busy for a reason. We’re busy caring about everybody and everything else which when taken out of our life or lost, would contribute far less to our depression and insanity than our marriage.
Fast forward and there’s a case of someone else or something else getting more of our spouse’s attention and we become bitter and defensive. Are we bitter for shirking our responsibilities and pushing them beyond their limit or boundaries in the union or it just must always be the fault of the other, justified or not? We forget people always understand and bear with us until a point where they can’t bear it anymore. How often do we think about our partner’s limits…how much they can take until they can take no more?
Everybody’s got their limits and no matter how much they love you, there’s a limit to how much they can cope or live with any situation. Oh no, it’s not only about bad stuff. There are men who can’t handle too much love or affection from a woman. They begin to feel like they are babies to their partners. There are men (and maybe women) who equally can’t stand too much attention or pampering from their partners. Sometimes it’s sad that we can spend so many years with a person and know very little about them because we always just go with the flow and never pause to ponder things…until something happens.
Could you be humble enough to admit that the breakdown in your spouse’s affection towards you could be self-inflicted? Is there not a cause for your spouse’s bitterness, changed attitude, ill behavior, addiction, low/unmatched sex drive, broken friendship, lost vibes, etc. and have you stopped to think about it?
We wait too long for things to blow in our face before we look ourselves in the mirror.
A man doesn’t have to wait until he marries before taking on the role of spiritual headship of his love relationship.
It is easier to lead the woman you plan on marrying in the right spiritual direction and get her to respect your spiritual headship when she sees that in you or see you exercising that role way before the marriage covenant is even entered into. And it may be more easier to sustain it way into marriage when you’ve cultivated it early in the relationship.
Yes, be romantic towards her; but be all the more spiritual towards her.
Women need leading; if you fail to lead her, she will lead you. Just don’t resent it when she eventually takes over your roles and you begin to feel (spiritually) irrelevant.
Many men are in serious love relationships but don’t command prayer times together for the relationship, they don’t command fastings, they don’t command Bible study and devotions; they don’t even pray themselves for the relationship! Yet, they want the best out of the relationship, they want everything to just go smoothly, they want spiritual and character compatibility or synchronization?
Indeed, so little do we know in life So completely unaware Of the workings of His supernatural hands Behind the scenes He works Tirelessly for our good But the finished product only we chose to see Never His many invisible acts of love Done behind the scenes Obviously, it’s always amazing When His supernatural hands lift a man From the ashes to a position of glory From a life full of struggles To a life full of bubbles Blessed indeed is that man Who acknowledges the hand of God Only not in his rise to a better life But in his everything Blessed indeed is he Who remembers that of his own strength He could not have prevailed That of his own accord He could not have won the fight of life
Mark Gadogbe (McApple)
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