Marrying artificial beautiesย 

The story is told of a man who married a very pretty lady only for her to give birth to the ugliest child he has even seen with no semblance to either of them. The man felt the baby might belong to another man and the woman also swore to never being with another man. The man therefore launched an investigation with the aim of seeking a divorce. 
In the end, his investigation proved to which the woman agreed, that she was born looking ugly but whilst growing up, she signed up for a series of plastic surgeries to become the ravishing beauty that she now is. She admitted having kept this a secret. She didn’t think she ever needed to tell him before marrying him and since he also never asked if her beauty is “naturally acquired from birth” or is a product of artificial modifications, why worry? 

But now, genetics doesn’t lie so her true self has resurfaced in her baby. How sweet or how sad! ๐Ÿ˜‚
It’s funny that our dear ladies of today are deceiving themselves with all these artificial beautification, self enhancement and skin bleaching craze…forgetting their real selves will show up in their unborn seeds. ๐Ÿ˜‚ 

Bleach all you want…You will get a man to marry your fair skin and transformed face and figure, but the fruit of your womb can never be bleached or transformed inside there. At least not at a cost you can bear at the moment. ๐Ÿ˜œ 
My only fear is that a time is coming when many men will marry disguised beasts. ๐Ÿ™ˆ 

Perhaps there is just so much insecurity growing among our women. We wish women are not insecure about their unique physiques and God-given beauties. Right there…I just saw a quote: 

“If it’s not fixed by the One who made it, it probably won’t work” 

All the best to us as we brace up for the future unknowns. 
ยฉMark Gadogbe (McApple), 2017

Marriage & Personal Development Author 

Nudity abounds in a society of lost morals

These pictures were circulated recently on social media and I’m like “why”? Why would my wife expose herself stark naked to the whole world? What will be the motivationMoney? Or you have to do it before people can be taught to appreciate their own bodies? What is posing nude for charity…what kind of charity is that? Sometimes I don’t get the message…except it is to lure people into unholy passions or for worldly fame. 

South African celebrity’s social media photo posing nude for charity

And then again I said to myself, “possibly they are not married because I can’t seem to wonder if any responsible married woman will do that just for the sake of trying to educate a section of society”. Or possibly, times have changed and we must just learn to cope with it? ๐Ÿ˜Ÿ

Photo posted on social media by Ghanaian actress

I know by including these pictures in my post, some will say I am contributing to it’s spread and indirectly helping their agenda. That’s a very fair point, I admit, but I feel obliged to so that my readers can really appreciate (or picture) what this post is addressing. So, my apologies to those who are offended by them. I am too, but had to do this last post on this issue. 

Seriously, the nudist culture (or nudism) is growing at a very fast pace and not only is it becoming a normal trend but it is being embraced or championed by even the very elite of society. I don’t have a problem with nakedness because I see myself and my wife naked every day. ๐Ÿ˜‚ But, if exposing oneself stark naked on the cover of magazines and social media platforms is the only best way a dignified woman can see her beauty or embrace her sexuality or better appreciate her feminine figure, or even do some charitable work for society, then something fundamental is wrong somewhere. 

Yes, something perhaps is seriously going wrong in the minds of nudists. But maybe it’s not really their fault. Maybe it’s a human right movement problem…and the increasing pressure to accept just everything and anything as a person’s fundamental human right. Maybe it’s the mainstream media’s fault or society’s fault. When you’re well clothed, the media says nothing, not even the word “descent” is used to describe you. But when you’re nude, they say “hot and sexy body“, “gorgeous looks“, I mean all these nice descriptors. Who wouldn’t feel encouraged with these phrases? Who wouldn’t want to “break the internet” with some nudes since that’s all it is: a challenge, or competition, or a simple case of women empowerment or human rights/freedom, and nothing about questionable morals. 

With ideologies like this being pushed, what then is right and what then is wrong?

But reality is that, every man knows how a feminine figure looks like and there’s nothing else you can teach us when you expose yourselves like that, other than causing a surge in our sexual appetites and lusts. Or are men denying that the female figure is beautiful that’s why you are giving us “lessons” on appreciating the female figure through the naked displays? And for the men who do that too, are women in denial of the beauty of the male figure? 

The human body is a beautiful work of art, we know. Our stark naked portraits are gorgeous, we admit, but why not we hang them in your bedrooms? We don’t have to invite others to admire our nakedness or pay for it…I guess that’s what prostitutes do? So, how different are you then from a prostitute when you do that? Yet you feel insulted when per chance folks choose to drop the fact that you’re educated and decide to rather call you a prostitute ๐Ÿ˜‚. You call that hate speech and not embracing one’s sexuality? 

How different is a learned or scholarly person who is a nudist by choice or for monetary gain from a prostitute? Isn’t there a thin line between those two? 

How can marriages and the moral fibre of society last when our young folks emulate these unmarried celebrity figures and soak in their lifestyles? Aren’t we already seeing signs of a breaking society with the rate at which our young girls who should be in school focusing on their studies are busy jumping on the nudity bandwagon and taking nude pictures of themselves, recording sex videos and sharing on social media as well as stripping on Facebook live?

Sadly, since society practically “hails” the educated adults doing it, we’re left with very little moral grounds to condemn the young ones who learn the same wrongs from the same adults they see as “role models”. When an adult who is supposed to know better does something wrong and is being praised for it and left justified, what lessons are there for the young ones not to thread the same paths? 

Nevertheless, the internet they say does not forget. One day your sons or daughters will grow and be mocked in school/community by their colleagues that their mother is a prostitute or they have their mother’s nude pictures or masturbate to their mother’s nude sexy pictures. I hope you conscientize or prepare their minds for that looming future and pray suicide does not become their option when they can’t overcome the shame of facing you in the face to report their abuses to you. 

Modesty is Godly, beautiful and rewarding

That being said, this one fact remains true: Responsible men don’t marry makeup or nakedness, they marry destiny. Let your body, breasts or vagina be the most beautiful on display on earth, a man will outgrow it. The only future or destiny he’ll see with you is a potential porn star in waiting. Perhaps today it means nothing, but his reputation in future will decide your place in his life. Where you put your self worth is how you will be valued and how lasting that value will be. 

God save His people! And I hope this blesses somebody?
“This then is the message which we have heard of him, and declare unto you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all.  If we say that we have fellowship with him, and walk in darkness, we lie, and do not the truth” – 1 John 1:5โ€ญ-โ€ฌ6 KJV

“In this the children of God are manifest, and the children of the devil: whosoever doeth not righteousness is not of God, neither he that loveth not his brother” – 1 John 3:10 KJV

ยฉMark Gadogbe (McApple), 2017

Marriage & Personal Development Author 

Stages of marital love

Which stage of love have you reached? 

I’ll tell you mine. We’re passed the young love stage and almost now enjoying realistic love…and we gonna stay there for a long time! How cool? ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ™ˆ

I discovered recently that marital love passes through five stages

โ€“ young love: years 1โ€“2

โ€“ realistic love: years 3โ€“10

โ€“ settled love: years 11โ€“25

โ€“ renewed love: years 26โ€“35

โ€“ inconceivable love: years 36+

But what’s important is that you make a decision to enjoy every stage of your marriage. Decide to cherish every moment. Let the beauty of your spouse always be the standard for beauty. Together, break out of the everyday routine again and again. 

Believe in and be amazed at the miracle of love, your marriage! It is the biggest adventure on earth! 

Wives carry and transmit favour

There is a lot of Godโ€™s favour on a womanโ€™s life that rubs on and doubles a manโ€™s favour when married to her. Itโ€™s a kind of favour that elevates; that makes a man rise; that pushes him to the apex!

 

The saying โ€œbehind every successful man is a womanโ€ is just another way of putting the โ€œhe who finds a wife finds favour from the Lordโ€ฆโ€ biblical promise.

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Every time I look back on how far weโ€™ve comeโ€ฆI confidently say to myself โ€œI have the best wife everโ€. I truly am blessed with her.

 

And surely the blessing is not because of WHAT (material things) I have in my life but WHO I have. Her personality is astonishing! And her beauty? Breathtaking!

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โ€ฆAnd we really have come a long way on the road less travelled by many for fear of many unknowns. The โ€œunknownsโ€ have daily been with us, but weโ€™ve learned to conquer many; riding at the back of the One who holds it all together so beautifully.

 

So today, halfway through another anniversary, we sayโ€ฆcheers to many more unknowns to conquer!

Nothing can stop us…We “all the way up”!ย  ๐Ÿ™‚

 

ยฉ Mark Gadogbe (McApple), 2017

Marriage & Personal Development Author

 

 

UNFAITHFUL

You came squirming in blood

But I did not let you die

I provided wisdom to cut your umbilical cords

To wash and wrap you in cloth

Your glaring nakedness to shield

Loving, caring hands of a mother

I provided them all

Strong and tall I made you grow like a healthy plant

A young woman you became

Breasts well formed into two tall twin towers

Hips well shaped like the finest arts of Michelangelo

Skin shining as one rubbed in the finest olive oil

In clothes of embroidered silk and linen I dressed you

Jewels and ornaments of gold and silver put I on you

Shoes of the finest leather and the choicest of meals

Your beauty became dazzling and captivating like that of a queen

Beauty met admiration and fame and then begat pride

Then in your adult glory and reign

You forgot the one who made you so lovely

You never for once remembered your childhood

How I treated you when you were young

But like they of easy virtue you took to revealing

The breathtaking beauty of the breasts I brilliantly molded

The very โ€œbehindsโ€ I built in bravura

The thighs I tediously tended

The stomachs I skillfully shaped

And the coats I provided for your nakedness

You fashionably converted into little aprons

That every eye may see and toy with

The hidden and sacred treasures I placed

At specific โ€œbody geographical locationsโ€

With specified bearings and vectors

Longitudes and latitudes

Coordinates and cardinal points

And passwords, serial numbers and codes exclusive to you

But as many as admired, to them you gave the right of free access

To break into thy security system and steal thy jewels

Even in the non-admirers you created unforeseen pressures

Enticing their unstable souls

How bad enough that you have become unfaithful to me

And the life purpose for which I created every part of you

ย 

ยฉ Mark Gadogbe

Marriage & Personal Development Author

 

 

Sex and Marriage

“The best kind of sex in marriage is when a husband is cherishing his wife and the wife is cherishing her husband. Sex affirms each otherโ€™s beauty, worth and desirability. Neurologically, the more you have sex with each other, the more you desire each other and the less attractive other women become. This is basic brain chemistry”

~~Gary Thomas
#MarriageGoals

True love: how do I make the choice?

The biblical recommendation that we love God with all of our heart, soul, mind, and strength shows us that for love to be complete, genuine, real… and for love to thrive between two beings, we must have a connection in all those dimensions.

We must not only have emotional (heart) connection with someone to know it is love and that it is true…but we must also have spiritual (soul) connection, intellectual (mind) connection and physical or bodily (strength) connection.

I think those are the complete dimensions of love we must watch and exercise…and also ensure that they are all present and that there’s a good balance and interplay.

Many times when people are confused about their choice of love or lover, they are often instructed to “follow your heart” or by extension, to focus on your emotions. Though the heart is important and should be at the core of every decision, we must not always only follow our heart; we must follow as well the other three “determinants of love”. The heart is desperately wicked and deceptive says the Bible. Hearts do deceive, even more so because what’s in the heart is not always seen on the face.

People also advice when it comes to finding true love that you “use your heart and your head“, in trying to say don’t love blindly. Meaning whatever your heart tells you, give it good thought before acting. Don’t just act on your feelings, do some critical thinking as well. This is great but must we leave out the spirit?

Choosing a life partner or entering into a love relationship is as much a spiritual exercise as it is a physical one. It’s a matter of your soul.

Remember we are not to be unequally yoked per biblical instructions? How do we do that when we don’t wait to determine first if there’s a spiritual connection between us and the ones we are going to give our heart, emotions and body to? Would you want to blindly (without careful considerations) fall in love with someone who will sell your soul to the devil and lead you down the path of ungodliness? Your decision to love someone (choose them as a life partner) is not complete without you weighing in on your spiritual connection or compatibility with the person.

Physical attraction, the fourth dimension or determinant of love is also a good ingredient. I know some over-spiritual brothers and sisters always downplay this…and then find themselves hooked to some unattractive guy/lady only to keep fighting for the rest of their lives some temptations coming their way from some very fine babes/dudes.

You see, I believe that somebody you are not physically attracted to, you cannot be sexually attracted to. Unless you are one of those not so normal people who would sleep with just anything that bears the name female or male.

The sexual lives of countless of marriages are in red zone just because either one of the couples have gone out of shape or more bluntly have become ‘unattractive”. He saw many ‘fat’ women but decided on a person of your figure because that is where the attraction was and so when you let yourself go too much and you become too ‘fat’, you know what might happen? Similarly, he saw many slim ladies but his attraction never was tickled until he saw the big fat you and so when you overdo that slimming course and become as thin as a stick, you might just be making yourself an attraction for another man who has got that taste, not him.

Body image means a lot to many people when it comes to love and you must always have that open discussion so that you know you can always have his or her support and love when those times come that you need some motivation to get back into shape.

That thing we say sometimes that you must love me just the way I am so that you can just let yourself go from say slim to obese after choking down all the junk foods in the world may just not work out for you sometimes. Perhaps s/he will still love you alright, but you may just not be sexually attractive enough for him/her again as you used to…and sometimes you just have to live with that or get back to work!

So there you have it. If we agree that love is not just a feeling but much more a choice, then we must be holistic in the choices we make. We must not be only feelings driven; we must exercise all the four dimensions in determining true, genuine, complete, compatible love that lasts…I think.

Mark Gadogbe (McApple)

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