Life does not always give what we want

​We all have had our share of ups and downs.

A million unanswered prayers, constant failures, unmet dreams, plans falling apart, feeling depressed and feeling not good enough for people, sicknesses that will never leave and you know it’s just a matter of time and you will say goodbye, people causing us pain, people treating you like garbage, having a smile on your face but with a broken heart inside…just losing it and not having a grip on life

You feel God’s being unfair, totally silent and unresponsive. You can’t help but to blame God… what kind of a Father sees a child’s pain and doesn’t act?

But then, can a loving father always save his child from every shit? Can you always be there for your child? No matter how much you wish to, can you always save your child from the grips of the Law? 

Why trust an Omnipotent God who can’t save you from every shit? 

Maybe same way we will fail to meet our own child’s every need no matter how much we try…Maybe same way the Omnipotent is unresponsive sometimes?

Maybe it’s because the Examiner is always silent during the test! And no matter how hard the test is, you have to figure out the answers yourself! 

Maybe there are some things He leaves to us to battle on our own and claim our own victories over. 

Maybe the strength and wisdom to carry on He will supply… But the battle we must fight ourselves till our last breathe. 

Giving up is not an option God desires for you, but your choice to give up is not a guarantee that He will step in. 

If you chose to hang yourself over a problem, He will not always come running to cut off the ropes. 

Life is hard, so many things will not go well and would have nothing to do with God not loving you or cursing you. We just have to keep at it, keep pushing, keep fighting and keep getting up if we get knocked down…if we are are gonna win! 

As for self-pity in the face of trials, it never gets us anywhere. 

May it be well with our soul! 
(c) Mark Gadogbe (McApple) 

Restoration…

The axe forgets; the tree remembers the scars,

Tomorrow at the scent of Heaven’s rain,

It will sprout again bearing fruits,

Fruits to which you will come to feast,

Forgetting you once cut short a life,

That God did not allow to die.

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Mark Gadogbe (McApple)

Marrying late

Oh yeah, almost everybody dreams of marrying young I believe, at least in their twenties. But someway somehow, life happened and you feel like you are on a time bomb. For some it was their own choice; maybe focusing on their career in those early years and assuming love will just find them. For others, it’s a chain of disappointments and broken hearts; wasted years on the wrong person and then as the years go by the right people seem hard to come by. Perhaps the longer the wait, the more potential partners get taken off the marriage market and the shallower the pool of potential singles become?

You’ll find so many reasons why people’s marriages have delayed but what’s kind of true is that only a few such people are able to still carry on in life with their self esteem still intact, especially when it wasn’t by choice. It’s such a frustrating feeling not being successful in love and having to wait for so long to find that happiness and fulfillment when it’s not by choice. Unfortunately for some, when that ideal time is past, they are left with a feeling that can best be described as having to settle with a less than ideal partner.

It’s hard, I know. I didn’t have to go through that but I think we could still pause and try to see the blessing in marrying late too. Marriage is hard work and so much responsibility; sometimes crippling your personal development in some areas of life where being unmarried would have ensured faster results. Plus, younger couples, perhaps just starting out in life are often battling financial problems (from the huge demands on married life) that can put a lot of stress on a marriage.

One woman shared her story:

“Getting married at barely 20 meant my husband and I literally started with nothing and we were broke much of the time especially by the time the kids started coming in”

I believe for many young couples, the testimony above is just like a drop in an ocean. For indeed, many young couples have had the challenge of building their life from nothing, right from scratch!

Perhaps for those who married late, though having been denied the early bliss of companionship and perhaps the opportunity of having a child early, they would have used the period to set stronger financial and material foundations. It is expected that most couples who marry late would be more financially sustainable and would have more essential material possessions (say their own house, car, etc) compared to younger couples and this could be a blessing in disguise. To say the least, paying high rents for an apartment with little to save for one’s own house (a great necessity) is a growing challenge for young couples. Reminds me of a friend who told me recently that if he had not married early (which he appreciates though) he would have had his own house by now and I told him people have houses but are not married and are not happy and wishing the opposite has happened.

It is often reported that as a result of financial security alone (which most young couples take a big risk on), those who married significantly later in life report less work-related stress, less marital conflict and more couple interaction and satisfaction.

There’s a blessing in everything o. Count your blessings where you find yourself. Delay is not denial and maybe you just have to reposition yourself better; maybe you have to try doing things differently and relating with people differently; maybe you just need a new outlook on life and not let such disappointments knock out your self-worth.

But whatever the situation, if you are Christian, you can trust that every life circumstance eventually works for your good. After all, the most important factor shouldn’t be time but who; time is of essence but who you marry tops it all. That’s because depending on the character of the person you marry, your life can either be one of perpetual bliss or hell on earth, whether you married early or not. Also because Christians don’t believe in divorce merely on the grounds of some little “irreconcilable differences” nor do they treat marriage as merely a contract between two parties that can be terminated at any time and on any grounds as they so wish, makes who you marry an important factor than time.

Nonetheless, even if there is a perfect time to get married, then it’s only God’s time. And God’s time for everybody is different. Your time will come and don’t let our self esteem deteriorate as if the only way of measuring success and fulfillment in life is whether or not one is married.

Mark Gadogbe (McApple)

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Image sources:
http://www.economist.com

 

A million hurts…

“We think that love ends because of some monstrous piece of bad behaviour but, more often, it decays gradually through a million minor hurts”.
~~Andrew G. Marshall

Careful not to pile up a mountain of hurts. Take nothing for granted!

To make or to break is all in our hands.

Cheers!

Mark Gadogbe (McApple)

Image sources:
https://lovehurtsloveheals.wordpress.com