#MarriageGoals #Johannesburg

“It is important for marriages to create lasting fun memories”

Joburg was fun and worth every penny!

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City Tour
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Apartheid Museum
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The face you make when heading to Carlton Centre, tallest office building in Africa
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Gold Reef City
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Nelson Mandela’s house
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Inside Mandela’s House
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Mandela’s Living Room
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2010 World Cup Soccer City Stadium (The Calabash)
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June 16 Memorial Acre
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Memorial Acre
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The famous SOWETO
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To Desmond Tutu’s House
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Orlando Towers, World’s Highest SCAD Freefall
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Orlando Towers Bungee Jump
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Braai Time…Have me some BBQ
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A pose in our lorry tire goalpost…after volley and football session
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Ice cream fight
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Gold Reef City Anaconda Roller Coaster Ride Entrance
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The Anaconda!
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The Anaconda in motion
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A shot before embarking on the Anaconda Ride @ Gold Reef City Theme Park
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The Gold Reef City UFO Ride
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The friendly lion…lol

…And then the face you get in the Tower of Terror! “It sure was too late to cry for your mama”!

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Gold Reef City Tower of Terror Roller Coaster Ride

Mark Gadogbe (McApple)

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Distance can do strange things to people

Nothing can replace physical presence in relationships or marriage. Long distance is not for you if you just can’t do without physical love for a period of time. You may die from the lack of companionship, the touch of a hand, hugs and kisses, reassuring glances and smiles, romantic moments, etc.

Long distance relationships (LDRs) or long distance marriages do not thrive on physical love; they thrive on love or connection that exudes from your heart, mind and soul only. LDRs are mainly full of mere promises of love and hope…that things will be better or great when you are together again. But then when you are together, you have the problem of having to work out all the relational differences brought about by the distance and figure out how to re-bond physically again. The “sweet nothing” promises is what keeps it going, what keeps it alive…and things may begin to take a downturn when promises begin to fail, postponed or not honoured.

They say if you love someone, it doesn’t matter if you are miles apart because the heart will always do the connection. Well, the miles actually do matter! They only will not matter much if you know that it is but for a short while or a definite length of time. But the miles will matter if it’s for a seemingly endless journey of separation beyond what you can bear or sacrifice for. Your heart, feelings, emotions and affections can still be with someone far away from you…there’s no doubt about that. You will keep dreaming about them and wishing you are together again. But if that someone is not coming back anytime soon, anytime definite, or keeps postponing the reunion, your love may die along the line because there is no timeline for you to keep it alive and there’s little hope to nurture it.

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Love doesn’t thrive in a lot of uncertainties. And going long distance with no clear cut end in sight is dangerous. Studies have shown that couples tend to be happier and less distressed only when distance is understood to be temporary; otherwise, the relationship seems doomed.

It’s easier to commit to a relationship that you know is going somewhere definite than one that you can’t easily put a finger on. It’s easier to make sacrifices and commit to something whose end you know than that which seems not to have a definite end time. When he/she is supposed to wait for you a week and then a week turns into a month and then a year…you are weakening the strength of the commitment. The strength, energy and success of sacrifices and commitments, find their foundation in what is known/definite and not otherwise.

People naturally grow tired waiting too long and that’s why married couples are often advised not to stay apart for too long. The lack of physical, emotional and sexual intimacy or bonding will be a huge drain on the union when care and wisdom is not exercised in prolonging the times apart.

Nonetheless, just saying you are not a long distance relationship person and so keep throwing relationships away would be a little unwise, don’t you think? Like I wrote in an earlier post I CANT BE IN A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP, you may be able to avoid it prior to marriage but may not be able to run away from it when it shows up its ugly heads in your marriage.

The tendency of every marriage experiencing a period of separation is very high. Nobody is born a long distance relationship person; nobody wishes for it either. But sometimes it’s just a good test of love…and hey, love’s got to be tested to be true, abi?

Mark Gadogbe (McApple)

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Image sources:
http://sorrybutno.deviantart.com/art/Skype-Kiss-301807678
http://sorrybutno.deviantart.com/art/Long-Distance-213629394

Complaints

Complains should not take the place of prayer in your marriage and love relationship. Learn to call God into every situation.

Pray about everything…including sex.

Many couples don’t get it when you say pray about sex. They are like…how? They never ask why because I believe they already know all the reasons why they ought to. I bet they just don’t know how to go about the prayers. Lol

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Well, God already knows what you want when it comes to sex…so pray that! It can feel like a weird or awkward thing to do, I know, especially when praying together…but if it helps, you can think about it as fun. Lol

Be a praying spouse! A lot in marriage and relationships depend on it. Marital success is not always about what you know, “for by strength shall no man prevail” (1 Samuel 2:9).

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Getting more out of marriage

“The trouble with many married people is that they are trying to get more out of marriage than there is in it”
~~Elbert Hubbard

…but I think you can’t get out what you have not put in. If we want a lot more from our marriages we must put in a lot more. Show love and be loved back. Communicate better and you will get good responses back. It’s like a love tank that must be filled before we can draw from it.

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Like I said in my Valentine day post, “Happy marriages and relationships are possible! It’s all in our hands…it’s all in the effort we put into it. You can’t get happiness in marriage unless you put in happiness. You can’t reap love in marriage unless you pour in love. Marriage is empty from start…what you get from it at the end of the day is what you invest in it“.

May we find grace to keep pouring in love and not place too much unrealistic demands on our marriages!

Mark Gadogbe (McApple)

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Image sources:
http://cheryneblom.blogspot.com/2012/09/filling-up-empty-love-tank.html
http://lifencanvas.blogspot.com/2012/06/self-love-tank.html