Seeing growth?

When partners feel their relationship helps them grow, they are motivated to keep it going.

#MarriageTips

Love and conflicts…

There’s no love so strong that it instantly eliminates or resolves conflicts.
The best of couples still need good conflict resolution skills.

conflict-resolution-skills-for-happy-married-life-7-638

Get that marriage back together! God wants you to!

#MarriageTips

Mark Gadogbe (McApple)

Complaints

Complains should not take the place of prayer in your marriage and love relationship. Learn to call God into every situation.

Pray about everything…including sex.

Many couples don’t get it when you say pray about sex. They are like…how? They never ask why because I believe they already know all the reasons why they ought to. I bet they just don’t know how to go about the prayers. Lol

4060e0e68e385b4d555e9bb3dbbf490f

Well, God already knows what you want when it comes to sex…so pray that! It can feel like a weird or awkward thing to do, I know, especially when praying together…but if it helps, you can think about it as fun. Lol

Be a praying spouse! A lot in marriage and relationships depend on it. Marital success is not always about what you know, “for by strength shall no man prevail” (1 Samuel 2:9).

3aab5f5fa09acf3121cd2be3ced9fb1f

Getting more out of marriage

“The trouble with many married people is that they are trying to get more out of marriage than there is in it”
~~Elbert Hubbard

…but I think you can’t get out what you have not put in. If we want a lot more from our marriages we must put in a lot more. Show love and be loved back. Communicate better and you will get good responses back. It’s like a love tank that must be filled before we can draw from it.

lnc self-love tank

Like I said in my Valentine day post, “Happy marriages and relationships are possible! It’s all in our hands…it’s all in the effort we put into it. You can’t get happiness in marriage unless you put in happiness. You can’t reap love in marriage unless you pour in love. Marriage is empty from start…what you get from it at the end of the day is what you invest in it“.

May we find grace to keep pouring in love and not place too much unrealistic demands on our marriages!

Mark Gadogbe (McApple)

PS: If you like it, keep not! Comment, share…and subscribe!

Image sources:
http://cheryneblom.blogspot.com/2012/09/filling-up-empty-love-tank.html
http://lifencanvas.blogspot.com/2012/06/self-love-tank.html

Happy Marriages

“There are no measuring scales in happy marriages. These couples want the best for each other and realize that keeping score or trying to have a 50/50 marriage is no way to live if you want to be happy. And as the professionals say, 50/50 doesn’t work in relationships because we’re not fractions. We are whole people”.
~~Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott

#GiveYourAll

 

Image source:

How Happy Marriage Subliminal Messages Work

BUILD A PERSONAL MARRIAGE LIBRARY

I realized very early in my life that one very important ingredient for a strong and successful relationship/marriage is a good resource base of knowledge and reference. Every marriage I believe must have something to draw upon for new knowledge once a while. On that ground I began building my marriage library even before the thought of starting a love relationship with someone’s “innocent” daughter crossed my mind.

I determined early I was not going to build my relationship and marriage after that of my parents…not that they did not have a good marriage whist it lasted but somehow, I knew I was doomed to fail if that became my only reference aside the Bible or the scanty once a while marriage sermons from the pulpit. Bible knowledge alone to me is not enough. It remains the number one and most important reference for every good Christian marriage though but there’s a wealth of other resources (in variety of formats) out there, mainly born out of people’s rich experiences of the institution that one can also learn from and easily relate to. As must be expected, there are varied perspectives presented by people on marriage and some quite skewed from Bible principles but I find it’s always better to have a broad spectrum of knowledge and then filter out what is good for one’s purpose.

The Good Book says “My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge…” as in Hosea 4:6 (RSV) and I believe by extension that, most marriages are becoming very mundane and stagnant (lacking growth) because they are not refreshed every now and then with new knowledge from good marriage resources. We must often review our relationships/marriages and ask the question “what’s new in my relationship/marriage?”. Why? Because whether you like it or not, every relationship/marriage needs constant renewal, creativity and attention to detail. And we need a great dose of knowledge to do that!

And like any successful business venture, one needs good preparation and grooming for both the start-up and operation. And that requires capacity for a lot of fresh updated knowledge to survive in a constantly changing business environment. And as long as the world keeps evolving, the dynamics of marriage will also keep changing from that of old age Bible day marriages. We must therefore acquire as much knowledge in order to adjust to and accommodate the changes as they come. And every passing moment people are publishing their experiences of the institution of marriage. But, somehow, I find many people just do not prepare enough for the marriage venture. All they believe there is to it is getting of age, locating just anyone, settling down with them and going through the motions. I find it a very pathetic way of going about something very important to all human survival as marriage. It’s important we acquire as much knowledge about things before we go into them. “Had I known” must not always come last.

Enough said. At this point, I think it is worth sharing just a few resources (books) that characterize my marriage library and wish to also recommend them as good materials for every relationship/marriage:

  1. How to choose a life partner: 165 questions to ask (Pastor Bimbo Odukoya)
  2. Are you the one for me? (Barbara De Angelis)
  3. Men are from Mars, women are from Venus: A practical guide for improving communication and getting what you want in your relationships (John Gray)
  4. What every man wants in a woman: 10 essentials for growing deeper in love (John Hagee)
  5. What every woman wants in a man: 10 qualities for nurturing intimacy (Diana Hagee)
  6. The five love languages: how to express heartfelt commitment to your mate (Gary Chapman)
  7. I love you but I’m not in love with you: seven steps to saving your relationship (Andrew G. Marshall)
  8. Why you act the way you do (Tim LaHaye)
  9. Help your partner say ‘yes’: seven steps to achieving better cooperation and communication (Andrew G. Marshall)
  10. Before you plan your wedding plan your marriage (Dr. Greg Smalley & Erin Smalley)
  11. His needs her needs: building an affair-proof marriage (Willard F. Harley)
  12. Every woman: a gynaecological guide for life (Derek Llewellyn-Jones)
  13. Marriage works: the ultimate guide to marriage (J. John)
  14. Make or break: an introduction to marriage counseling (Jack Dominian)
  15. Build a life-long love affair: Seven steps to revitalizing your relationship (Andrew G. Marshall)
  16. The act of marriage: the beauty of sexual love (Tim & Beverly LaHaye)
  17. At the heart of your long distance relationship: love deeply, live fully and grow closer together from near or far (Catherine Day)
  18. For better or for worse: lessons from old testament couples (SDA Church)

There you have it: just a few good books in my store that I refer to every now and then.

So here’s how I wrap up: do make it a life goal to at LEAST every year of your relationship/marriage acquire a good book or any other resource material on marriage and inject some new fire based on the knowledge acquired into your marriage and see your marriage grow and glow. Certainly, growing a relationship/marriage is work and never comes easy. So get serious with your relationship and marriage now before you lose it!

“A word to a wise is enough” the saying goes but I like to put it this way: “a word to a wise is never enough unless it makes sense”. I trust that you do find some sense here!

Cheers!