Too many voices cloud our decisions 

Electrically speaking, the earth can be a very noisy place. Overhead power lines, electric substations, railroad tracks, various signal transmitters and many other sources contribute to signal noise found in any given location. Harmonics, 60 Hz background noise,  and magnetic field coupling can distort the measurement signal, resulting in apparent readings that are larger or deviate by an order of magnitude from normal. Selecting equipment with electronic packages capable of discriminating between these signals is critical

So it is with us humans too. There are always so many voices in our head on a daily basis that influences our decisions and choices in life. 

For almost every decision a man takes in life, he has to battle and differentiate between the voices from the devil, from God himself, from the church, from family and friends, from random people in society and possibly voices from colleagues and superiors at work, etc. 

Just for a moment, consider just about how many voices a man or a woman listens to or has to listen to in the choice of a life partner. Trust me, they are so many. And that’s just one in a million life choices or decisions. 😊

Learning to make the right decision in life is never easy and learning to listen to your own inner voice or even the voice of God is increasingly difficult with all the myriad of influences. 

No wonder many times we make a lot of “forgiveable mistakes” because we get confused trying to listen to everybody’s opinion or to please them. 

It is true that no man is an island so something or someone will definitely influence one’s decisions or choices. It is important nonetheless that we always watch this as we go about life and the decisions we face: Two kinds of people fail in life; those who listen to nobody and those who listen to everybody

It’s never easy but we must always pray for grace to learn to make the right choices at all times, knowing who to listen to and who not to. 

©Mark Gadogbe (McApple), 2018

Lateness at our weddings

I had written this a long time ago but could not publish it because a couple of friends who got married around that time would have said it’s about them. Funny it is, but I have learned one thing in recent times that timing is very important even with publishing of my posts and I still have unpublished posts that are over a year old. So now that at least I know of no close friend whose invite I am honouring soon, I feel at liberty to publish this. Lol.

I thought the day and age where we used to keep people waiting hours at marriage and wedding ceremonies should have been long gone now but sadly it’s still with us. If there was any glamour in it in years past, my dear bride and groom, it’s no longer glamorous. The age we are in now, time is of big essence to throw away waiting for a bride and groom for hours. It adds no value to anybody’s life to have to wait hours for a marriage/wedding ceremony to start. It doesn’t make any bride or groom too any more valuable than they already are. If anything, it rather looks disrespectful of people’s valuable time and for you the bride and groom, it creates a bad image on you especially when you are of the educated or elite class.

Of course we all know sometimes things don’t go as planned and some unexpected stuffs can cause delays but seriously, for hours? Hell no! It’s unacceptable! Of course it’s your day and all your guests have put off important things for your sake just to show their love; but don’t take them for granted! It’s a choice you have to make way before the wedding day.

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In this part of our world where marriage is not just between bride and groom but a family affair, it makes it even more important that you accord a little bit of courtesy to important family members most of whom are way older than you that at least you should respect their time. It surely is very annoying when your entire family and important guests gather at the time you yourself has given them and now have to wait for you for hours!

Ok, we in this part of the world are never on time so that’s why if it’s supposed to start at 12pm you let your invite read every 10am? Oh come on! A few minutes late may be pardonable (doesn’t mean it’s encouraged), but not 2 hours late for God’s sake! But that’s what our educated brides and grooms are doing to us.

When I was getting married my wife and I agreed that we are educated and should not embarrass ourselves with excessive lateness. We were glad and even more put on edge when the presiding Pastor also stressed same to us during our last meeting with him a day before the event with the words “you guys are learned so don’t act otherwise and keep everybody waiting”. And he was glad after the ceremony that we did not disappoint him and all the people who had travelled from very far to honour us.

There were circumstances that could have made us late especially my camera man deciding not to show up on time. I remember leaving to the Church without him doing the coverage and sending strict instructions to my wife and the bridal team not to wait for him and that I would be so pissed if we had to go against our “no lateness” resolve because of him. Luckily, he was able to catch up with my wife and the bridal team on their way. So as it were, things didn’t go as planned and he couldn’t cover the dressing and preparations before the wedding as agreed and yet wanted to hold us against our resolve, demanding we wait for him. Annoyingly though he saw nothing wrong with it because according to him it is unusual for weddings to start almost on time and that almost all the weddings he has covered started at least an hour after start time.

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It is very unfortunate when at a wedding guests begin to make comments like “If I had known I would have taken my time and not come on time or at least eat before coming” just because by the time your reception starts (going by when programme was supposed to start), your guests would have been dying of hunger just because of that little cocktail or buffet. Of course a start time of 10am for a church wedding does not mean groom must be there exactly 10am because they arrive first (that will be great though) but both groom and bride not arriving so many minutes or hours beyond start time in my opinion is disrespectful of people’s time!

Well, maybe it’s just so ingrained in us that we just can’t help it. Then again I thought we only do that while here at home but no, we do it even when we are living abroad. I almost left a wedding of some friends when I was in the UK had it not being that it started to rain just about the time my patience run out. And the atmosphere in the Church that day and the embarrassing expressions of the Pastor, officiating ministers and the groom who had to wait hours for the bride (yet everybody switching to happy mood the moment bride finally entered as if they were not boiling and complaining moments ago) is one that I can never forget.

Shame on us!

© Mark Gadogbe (McApple)

Marriage & Personal Development Author

 

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Pray, then Decide and Act

There are some things that God will not come down from Heaven to solve for us, no matter how much we pray or cry foul about Him not changing our situations. He’s left those things in the freewill He gave man and until you sit down, evaluate, decide and act, nothing will change. The best He will do for you is to give you wisdom in knowing what and what not to do about the situation.

Bad things happen to good people. Terrible things happen to committed Christians…God allows it all. If you think you are a good Christian and so only good things should come your way, you will continue to have issues with God. It’s just natural order! And whether you give up on God or not will not change who God is or stop bad things from happening to good people. Pray all you can, but after praying you will still have to act! And the more you delay a decision that will free your life and give you the peace you need, the more weightier the burden gets.

The decisions we fail to make today, the changes we fail to make today, we will make tomorrow or years later. What you don’t deal with today, you will deal with tomorrow. That’s not to say make rash or irrational decisions but what’s true is that there is a connection between decision-making and destiny; though both are two different things. Poor decisions can affect your destiny big time…and you don’t blame God for it! Though He’s well able to change and re-orient destinies, you may have suffered some things for your bad decisions which may not change. Even after the situation changes, those scars will remain to remind you of your bad decisions or the decisions you refused to make.

When it comes to marriage too, God has stopped putting men to sleep and forming their partners from their ribs. There is a lot of freewill and decision-making involved in choosing a marriage partner. God will only be there to guide you to the right partner and to bless your union.

Sometimes I am tempted to believe that even when you choose a wrong partner and bring him/her to God to be solemnized in marriage, God will still “bless” that union. But as to whether things will work out well in the end between you two depends on you. That is how important choice and decision is! That’s why not everybody God brings your way that looks good and sexy that you should make a wife/husband out of. But when you do, He will still “bless” it anyways, I guess. The best He will do when you want to settle with the wrong person He doesn’t approve of is to bring into the relationship as many red flags as there are for you to see them and make the right decision. But again, sometimes that is even when we begin to get unhappy with God for bringing too many problems in our relationships and not making it to work according to our will.

Marriage decisions are very important; it can make or unmake a person’s destiny. And it is all the more important because God is not a fan of divorce. God is still in the marriage miracle business. He’s still in the match-making business. He’s still leading people to right partners and He’s still bringing right partners people’s way. But He’s not making decisions for them; He’s letting them make their own decisions! And whether you make the right decision or not, His promise of never forsaking you and being with you till the very end of the age (or that situation you committed yourself to) still holds.

May we find grace to make the right decisions always! And as we do, may we find grace to not lean on our own understanding but seek wholehearted guidance from God.

Mark Gadogbe (McApple)

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