Making Christian arguments should go beyond just being emotional

A lot of us Christians seem to just talk or argue from emotions when making a defense of our faith, which is good, but sometimes, a little bit of facts will help our arguments. We are obviously in an era when one will have to rely on a great dose of wits even as a Christian, just to win a single soul, or advance a case for Christ. It’s like this generation of unbelievers are so knowledgeable and not just ‘blindly’ stuck in their worldly ways, but they have a lot of ‘convincing facts’ to support the things they do. It’s like a facts-based generation and any Christian who attempts to witness to this generation must aside being sentimental, equally have his/her facts well laid out, such that it makes sense.

It’s like Christianity no longer makes sense to a lot of folks out there…unless we present very convincing facts. However, many a Christian will not even research just a little into the things s/he is for or against…and then falls short when an argument erupts with an unbeliever. Of course, it’s the Holy Spirit that convicts, which is the ultimate truth, but isn’t there a reason why God gave us brains too? I fear if we do not know our Bible so well, and get as much additional knowledge as possible, we will soon lose out and be ineffective in our missions because gone are the days when we were witnessing to “illiterates”.

Our tasks in recent times (in this generation) have become bigger and while we are at it being “emotionally” sentimental and discrediting our exalted faith with total disregard for basic professionalism and Christian ethics (given all the many scandalous acts or antics of our men of God), the world we must win is strategically studying, effectively planning and “falsely and enticingly dividing our word of truth”. It’s not just sentiments that will win us the battle in an era where the tables are turning and paganism (in all its forms and vices) is taking foothold and is being exalted above all that is comprehensible to the Christian mind.

I feel when you study and you know, you have a firmer grounding and cannot be easily swayed, but that’s the Christian’s problem today, because we are only looking to the “pulpit” for the very least Christian knowledge. We would rather spend our time championing our Pastors rather than studying the word for ourselves. Because our focus is only on our Pastors, we have become the kind of Christians that could be easily misled or deceived by our Pastors without even realizing it.

Perhaps, it is high time we move beyond just being over emotional as Christians anytime our faith comes into question. There is a lot at stake and being just emotional may not cut it; it’s important for a Christian to be well studied and seek knowledge so as not to fall short.

Some may rightly argue on the basis of 1 Corinthians 2:4-5 that wits doesn’t bring any man to the kingdom and it is only the Holy Spirit that truly draws a man unto Christ by His own power. The argument is also rightly made that men may begin to trust in their methods for “reaching” and “winning” souls, when in fact, all it takes is God’s own Spirit, working through a man, studied or not.

“and my message and my preaching were not in persuasive words of wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power, so that your faith would not rest on the wisdom of men, but on the power of God” ~ 1 Corinthians 2:4-5

Those are very good points or arguments to make. However, the thrust of this post is not to promote intellectual cunningness. I still believe though that in our day and time and just like the very learned Paul, our ministries are and will be more effectual when we are well studied, with not only knowledge from the Bible. I do not in anyway want to push the Holy Spirit to the background and assume that it is man himself who wins a soul.

But, I still think Paul was very effective in his ministry also to a large extent because of his high learning…judging from 1 Cor 9:22. I can boldly say he didn’t use illiteracy to witness to the gurus of knowledge, neither did he just go manifesting the Holy Spirit to the learned and just winning them like that. There are accounts of he using intellectual battling (plus the help of the Holy Spirit) in winning “strong learned hearts who try to defy all truths”.

Hence, there’s always a methodology we must use…Jesus had his methodology and didn’t just go manifesting Holy Spirit anyhow to win souls, I guess. Paul had his. Peter had his. Yet still, we must understand the balance, that not all will be won by mere intellectual discourse; some will have to be “only by prayer and fasting” like in Mark 9:29.

Happy Easter! Christ is risen, a victor from the dark domain and lives forever with His saints to reign! May Christ’s death and resurrection bring us wholeness and victory in every area of our lives!

©Mark Gadogbe, 2021

Cover image credit: https://instagram.com/heirloomartco?igshid=yqm8l2oosikm

THE CHOSEN

From many I chose you

‘Cos you were the most favourable amongst them

Your lovely character seduced me

And played tricks on my emotions

A part of me gets excited at thy graceful sight

An excitement that heightens

With every lovely thought of you

You are so amazing a figure

A blessing amongst all the Lord’s carvings

So beautiful a living monument

So sweet a manifestation

Of God’s gift of love to me

My heart craves strongly for thy love

And breaks whenever thy love

So rich and true

Is far from reach

Inside my emotions are stacked up

Like full old wineskins ready to burst

I have been looking for so long

And I bless the day I found you

‘Cos you brought light to my spirit

Oh how the light of my soul shone the brightest

The day you accepted as true, promising and trustworthy

Those carefully chosen and well rehearsed sugar-coated words

In your eyes I find the radiance of true love

Your lips are so blessed with soothing words

That puts my agitated spirit to a sweet sound rest

That reassures my soul of a hope

And a future not too far away

A life together and forever

© Mark Gadogbe (McApple)

(PS: A poem to mark the celebration of our marriage proposal anniversary today)

A matchless love…

What manner of love can this be?

A love as strong as death,

A love as mighty as the Lion of the tribe of Judah,

A love that endureth the trials of a cross,

A love that endureth the torment of a shameful death,

A love that bears all iniquities,

A love that despises every shame,

A love that is glorified over all,

Surely it is my Beloved’s love,

Yes, my Beloved,

The incomparable lover of my soul,

Yes, my Beloved,

Who fans aflame His love in my heart,

And excites the ardour of my spirit,

Never such love like my Beloved’s,

That excites emotions within,

And turns my weaknesses into strengths,

Never such love like my Beloved’s,

In whose light I discover my ungratefulness,

And in whose touch I am made anew.

 

© Mark Gadogbe (McApple)

Image source:
www.logomoose.com

True love: how do I make the choice?

The biblical recommendation that we love God with all of our heart, soul, mind, and strength shows us that for love to be complete, genuine, real… and for love to thrive between two beings, we must have a connection in all those dimensions.

We must not only have emotional (heart) connection with someone to know it is love and that it is true…but we must also have spiritual (soul) connection, intellectual (mind) connection and physical or bodily (strength) connection.

I think those are the complete dimensions of love we must watch and exercise…and also ensure that they are all present and that there’s a good balance and interplay.

Many times when people are confused about their choice of love or lover, they are often instructed to “follow your heart” or by extension, to focus on your emotions. Though the heart is important and should be at the core of every decision, we must not always only follow our heart; we must follow as well the other three “determinants of love”. The heart is desperately wicked and deceptive says the Bible. Hearts do deceive, even more so because what’s in the heart is not always seen on the face.

People also advice when it comes to finding true love that you “use your heart and your head“, in trying to say don’t love blindly. Meaning whatever your heart tells you, give it good thought before acting. Don’t just act on your feelings, do some critical thinking as well. This is great but must we leave out the spirit?

Choosing a life partner or entering into a love relationship is as much a spiritual exercise as it is a physical one. It’s a matter of your soul.

Remember we are not to be unequally yoked per biblical instructions? How do we do that when we don’t wait to determine first if there’s a spiritual connection between us and the ones we are going to give our heart, emotions and body to? Would you want to blindly (without careful considerations) fall in love with someone who will sell your soul to the devil and lead you down the path of ungodliness? Your decision to love someone (choose them as a life partner) is not complete without you weighing in on your spiritual connection or compatibility with the person.

Physical attraction, the fourth dimension or determinant of love is also a good ingredient. I know some over-spiritual brothers and sisters always downplay this…and then find themselves hooked to some unattractive guy/lady only to keep fighting for the rest of their lives some temptations coming their way from some very fine babes/dudes.

You see, I believe that somebody you are not physically attracted to, you cannot be sexually attracted to. Unless you are one of those not so normal people who would sleep with just anything that bears the name female or male.

The sexual lives of countless of marriages are in red zone just because either one of the couples have gone out of shape or more bluntly have become ‘unattractive”. He saw many ‘fat’ women but decided on a person of your figure because that is where the attraction was and so when you let yourself go too much and you become too ‘fat’, you know what might happen? Similarly, he saw many slim ladies but his attraction never was tickled until he saw the big fat you and so when you overdo that slimming course and become as thin as a stick, you might just be making yourself an attraction for another man who has got that taste, not him.

Body image means a lot to many people when it comes to love and you must always have that open discussion so that you know you can always have his or her support and love when those times come that you need some motivation to get back into shape.

That thing we say sometimes that you must love me just the way I am so that you can just let yourself go from say slim to obese after choking down all the junk foods in the world may just not work out for you sometimes. Perhaps s/he will still love you alright, but you may just not be sexually attractive enough for him/her again as you used to…and sometimes you just have to live with that or get back to work!

So there you have it. If we agree that love is not just a feeling but much more a choice, then we must be holistic in the choices we make. We must not be only feelings driven; we must exercise all the four dimensions in determining true, genuine, complete, compatible love that lasts…I think.

Mark Gadogbe (McApple)

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Marital Emotional Wars

“Men by nature are less emotional than women”

The above is true and most women admit it; at least conceptually.

In practice however, many a man craves his woman really really knows, understands and appreciates how hard he tries to meet her very diverse and unpredictable emotional needs. A woman’s display of emotions sometimes confuses many a man; many times he is lost at sea about what exactly she is trying to communicate. Women are such an emotional tank and I’m sure they don’t sometimes understand themselves and the many different emotions she experiences on a daily basis.

But is it only men who try hardest to meet their partner’s emotional needs or get confused trying to understand a partner’s emotional expressions and relate accordingly? Not so much. On a daily basis, every partner wants the other to get more in touch with his/her emotions…kind of like how their emotions synchronize during sex? The problem is that in many cases, emotions just don’t seem to synchronize that much outside the bedroom. Maybe because couples are just more focused on each other in the bedroom than they do outside the bedroom? Haha!

Emotional differences are such a huge thing though, and on an almost daily basis, men and women fight so many emotional wars in marriage. What happens at the emotional level is very important in every relationship/marriage and that is why the most important thing about any quality time a couple will spend together and that is worth remembering is not the length of time spent itself but whether or not there was an emotional connectivity.

Emotional battles never end in marriage and I do not know yet if couples ever achieve a permanent  “emotional compatibility” status but I think “emotionally intelligent” marriages stay stronger, healthier, happier and maybe longer.

Emotional intelligence? Hmmm, not an easy skill to master…but every relationship/marriage sure needs it! And I can bet, when all is said and done, that one of the joys of relationship/marriage is the privilege of a man and woman, different as they are working through their different emotions and still bonding as a unit.

We can never pray our emotions away. They are a beautiful part of our nature. So like Barbara Rainey said, “we are made in the emotional image of God, so we shouldn’t be afraid of those feelings when they crop up”. Marriage is beautiful…so relax and enjoy the emotional wars! At least it’s not so bloody!

And I think you will need this… just in case:

m1

Cheers!

Mark Gadogbe (McApple)

A chance we all take???

Many have been very careful in their choice of partners, yet those same carefully chosen partners became their downfall one way or the other. It still baffles! Still many others threw caution to the wind in their partner choice and through those partners became successful in life. Still baffles! So I’m tempted to say as usual that after all is said and done, “it’s a chance we all take…there are no guarantees because only God knows the future”.

But when God is in it…I believe the percentage of failure is minimal because He will always guide as long as we let Him. A man’s heart always leads him astray. Of course, many at times God has been involved but we still crushed but when you think back it’s almost always the case that someway somehow we did not completely “let go and let God”.

I understand it’s never easy to completely relegate our humanness to the background 100 percent…there’s always that interference. But I guess God is not looking for 100 percent cos that will be like denying our very existence and all the emotions and abilities God himself placed in us; He’s only looking to have the bigger percentage in that life choice and decision.

He just wants to be the biggest shareholder! And He wants to be the centre of every marriage because “except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it” (Psalm 127:1).

Now here is a good place that I will like to take a moment to ponder over this thought; you are welcome to do same:

“What guides my relationship/marriage? What defines it? Where does the biggest percentage go?”

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May He grant us Grace!