Love…

Love unexercised is but a sweet perfume in a closed vessel.
May we know by sweet experience what this means.

Love should not be hidden. Keep showing love and yield the fruits thereof.

Good marriages manage change better

A good marriage is one which allows for change and growth in the individuals and in the way they express their love
— Pearl S. Buck

Change is bound to happen in our lives and our marriages and relationships. We are not static beings; neither is our marriage. Change can be positive or negative. Static marriages don’t grow…many times they get boring. Embrace change in your marriage/relationship and develop a good mental attitude about it. It sure is not comfortable most times especially when it pushes you or your marriage/relationship out of your comfort zone but you sure will find some fun in there, some adventure, some new experience. After all, a life that stays the same is never exciting, I guess. It’s either you complain and sulk or look for something to encourage yourself.

Socrates it is that said:

“The secret of change is to focus all your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new”

Change is inevitable and must be managed…whether temporal or permanent. Spouses react to and deal with change differently. Good marriages manage change better. How you deal with change will determine the outcome of your marriage.

Depending on the type of change, you could be on any portion of the “dealing with change curve” below. Wanna guess how change makes you feel??

transition

God grant grace so we will be well able to handle all the numerous changes our lives, marriages and relationships will experience along the way. And may the changes not break us but build us!

Mark Gadogbe (McApple)

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Image sources:
www.endeavourvolunteer.ca

 

The experience and expectations of LOVE

True love, real love, genuine love….whatever!

Sometimes the problem is that many times the only definition and experience we (Christians) want to have of love is the 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 kind:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

It’s not a bad thing to want to experience this kind of love. Of course that is the ideal thing; that’s the best (Christian) model of love and what everybody desires.

But what we often fail to realize, I think, is that in reality or field of practice, the fact of the matter is that love (and the person loving you) will not always be kind, will not always be patient, will not always trust, will not always hope, etc. Sometimes or many times, love (and the person loving you) actually causes pain, hurts, disappointments, heartbreaks, etc and then we begin to ask if this love is genuine, real, true, the God-kind, etc.

When expectations of love are raised so high, when we get obsessed with experiencing at all cost what’s ideal…we often risk many things and could possibly be living out a “lie” and we could become our own enemies.

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Is it not William Shakespeare who said “expectation is the root of all heartache”? And is it not Pushkaraj Shirke who said “love doesn’t hurt. Expectations do”?

There’s nothing wrong with wanting a love that’s perfect; often it’s just a rare commodity!

unrealistic-expectations

Cheers!

Mark Gadogbe (McApple)

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Image sources:
http://www.motionworkspt.com/content/expectations

How High Expectations Can Ruin Relationships

Unrequited Love…

Unrequited love
A gamble on love
So much like the casting
Of “He loves me, he loves me not” lots
Feels like the spoil of life’s bliss
Like a drain of one’s life
A “if wishes were horses” feeling
A joint experience of love
That only remains a wish and a dream
A strange loneliness
In an affair meant for two souls
A longing unsatisfied
A love unnoticed
A love unreturned
A love true but in vain
Could be the worse experience of love
Yet the overcoming like a necessary evil