Birthday Musings…🎊 

Somehow, the night before every birthday of mine as it has been for a long time now, I am unable to get a good night sleep. And it’s been a blessing somehow because right about midnight I begin to pray silently and thank God for my life and ask for divine blessings to last another year or a lifetime. I do a bit of reflection on my life and many times I shed a few “happy tears” when it dawns on me (and it always does), that had it not been God always on my side, ……. Because when I remember the “stories of my birth” as Mum of blessed memory used to say to me, I know I wouldn’t have been alive to be celebrating birthdays. 

OK. So I’m “29 on 29”. That means I’m 29 years on 29th of my birth month. Funny as it is, somehow that felt special for me because it will not come again! And although I’m not a fan of birthdays like the way people always “mean” their birthdays such that they can even die should that day never come, I couldn’t help but post this thoughts…especially when I couldn’t even get any sleep. Neither I’m I a fan of revealing my “very young age” but “how for do now”? 

But I can’t believe I’m growing yet still not hitting 30! Somehow I’ve a weird perception that once you hit 30, you hit the “Boss Age” phase of your life. Lol. I know it can be funny and I don’t even know where in the world I got that idea from. It’s as weird as the fact that yesterday evening when I got back from work, I was fooling with my wife at every twist and turn with the retort “hey you, have you been 30 before?” to which she will respond “but you kora, are you 30?” 😂 😂 

Well, thing is at 30 and upwards, I feel you must start living like a Boss! Beginning from 30, you must begin to feel a deep sense of maturity and responsibility in a way you have never felt before. That’s not to demean or discredit the twenties and teen years. We so love being in the twenties and feeling so young and with so much energy and zest for life and wanting to experience everything. But at 30 and beyond you can’t afford to not feel the sense of urgency and maturity to begin to order your steps aright in much better ways than you did in your twenties or earlier years. 

It’s so exciting to watch oneself grow from the little toddlers we were in what seems like just few years ago and becoming very responsible adults with a serious sense of duty and outlook on life.

 As we grow, we begin to see life differently, in a whole new dimension and you begin to attach a new meaning to life. You begin to experience more of life and that shapes you better. That’s why no matter how exciting my twenties have been and with so many fond memories, I can’t wait to leave that age bracket. And I have quite a long time to wait; a whole year before I embrace my thirties, my “Boss Age” period. 

I have so much to be grateful to God for, so much I have achieved in this young life, so much I am proud of and not regretted. 

I’ve seen pain, I’ve seen sorrow; I’ve known hardship, I’ve known want. I’ve fought hard many times to stay strong and silenced the urge to quit in the face of adversity and great loss. I’ve spent myself on others and watched them in silence break my heart and act ungrateful; I’ve watched loved ones turn their back on me. I’ve experienced rejection first hand and from quarters I least expected; I’ve had people make me feel no longer accepted and worthless and I’ve also had people standing by and with me, seeing my mess sometimes and overlooking it. I’ve witnessed a broken and shattered family and God’s transforming power; I’ve seen God work miracles when we give Him the wheels and let things work out on their own. I’ve had a good mother and good home training and have been brought up to embrace and live with every situation, making the best out of every situation and circumstance for life does not always give us what we want, need, deserve or even work for. 

But I’ve also seen a lot of good in life to make me want to still live on till my dying years (whenever that is, with no regrets). As I live out the rest of my twenties, I do not know what life holds for me but I do know every experience will define who I am or turn out to be (for good or for bad, only God knows…but I will strive to choose good). And I do know, they that are meant to stay in my life will, and we will enjoy the journey together, in gratitude for all that life has to offer us. 

To all the amazing people I have encountered on this journey, I am eternally grateful!
©Mark Gadogbe (McApple), 2017

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A New Year is Here!

Happy New Year Everyone!

May the birth of the new year breathe new life into every aspect of our being! May we be so alive to see the realization of our dreams and resolutions. May we find a renewed love for God even as His Grace abounds for our daily needs. May the life we live in the year be a lifestyle of worship, one that fulfills God’s holy purpose and that is pleasing and acceptable to  God.

And may we be reminded as we live through the year that:

Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think any thing as of ourselves; but our sufficiency is of God; Who also hath made us able ministers of the new testament; not of the letter, but of the spirit: for the letter killeth, but the spirit giveth life.
2 Corinthians 3:5-6

May God watch over us and our relationships and marriages!

Best wishes and gratitude for staying true to Everything Marriage over the past year!

Mark Gadogbe (McApple)

Appreciate! …And do it verbally!

Some people are not very forthcoming with words…but you can’t build a strong healthy relationship without communicating appreciation verbally. They prefer to hide behind actions to communicate what and how they feel, after all, doesn’t “actions speak louder than words”? Yeah, they do most often…but they also sometimes hide the exact feelings we wish to express or just may not carry as much weight as words.

Sometimes, gratitude that is not expressed by words is just nonexistent. The more you fail to communicate your appreciation verbally the more likely your significant other may feel taken for granted, especially when s/he is not good at reading through your actions. Sometimes it may just be as frustrating as trying to read a person’s mind…so be verbally expressive with your feelings of appreciation. Remember “what’s taken for granted will eventually be taken away; then you end up missing most what you least appreciated”.

Appreciation is a great thing in relationships and must be done very often…even in honour of the little supposedly “insignificant” things. It’s as simple as “when you value someone, you appreciate them”.

When you appreciate your man, he surely will appreciate you in return…it’s like action and reaction, cause and effect. So always find the words to tell him he is a good and hardworking man who tries his best to provide for you and the family and he will surely also not focus on your “irrelevant” flaws. Every man wants an appreciative woman who sees and acknowledges how hard he tries!

Similarly, keep telling her she is the best woman, wife, mother and homemaker and she surely will not also call you unhealthy names that ends up doing so much damage to your ego.

The secret? “A person who feels appreciated will always do more than what is expected”. Your willingness to put it into words is all that is necessary.

You can’t demand or command appreciation in a relationship/marriage when you do not give it yourself.

Learn it and earn it!

But hey, let not thy appreciation be false.

Cheers!

Mark Gadogbe (McApple)