Too many voices cloud our decisions 

Electrically speaking, the earth can be a very noisy place. Overhead power lines, electric substations, railroad tracks, various signal transmitters and many other sources contribute to signal noise found in any given location. Harmonics, 60 Hz background noise,  and magnetic field coupling can distort the measurement signal, resulting in apparent readings that are larger or deviate by an order of magnitude from normal. Selecting equipment with electronic packages capable of discriminating between these signals is critical

So it is with us humans too. There are always so many voices in our head on a daily basis that influences our decisions and choices in life. 

For almost every decision a man takes in life, he has to battle and differentiate between the voices from the devil, from God himself, from the church, from family and friends, from random people in society and possibly voices from colleagues and superiors at work, etc. 

Just for a moment, consider just about how many voices a man or a woman listens to or has to listen to in the choice of a life partner. Trust me, they are so many. And that’s just one in a million life choices or decisions. 😊

Learning to make the right decision in life is never easy and learning to listen to your own inner voice or even the voice of God is increasingly difficult with all the myriad of influences. 

No wonder many times we make a lot of “forgiveable mistakes” because we get confused trying to listen to everybody’s opinion or to please them. 

It is true that no man is an island so something or someone will definitely influence one’s decisions or choices. It is important nonetheless that we always watch this as we go about life and the decisions we face: Two kinds of people fail in life; those who listen to nobody and those who listen to everybody

It’s never easy but we must always pray for grace to learn to make the right choices at all times, knowing who to listen to and who not to. 

©Mark Gadogbe (McApple), 2018

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Death always teaches us about life

My biggest lesson and comprehension of life came from my mother’s death…and I’ve never been afraid to think about death or to talk about it since. But one thing I know is the experience has somehow made me an open minded person because I searched for so many answers. Sometimes my family wonders why I talk about death so much as if it is cool and seem to have a seemingly weird way of thinking. To some of them, they would rather not even think about death because they feel the more one thinks about or speaks about it, one is somehow inviting it into ones life. 
But I know if you’re in this life and all you think about is life, you’re missing it. You need to think about death because sometimes it takes someone’s death to teach you some valuable unforgettable lessons about life. Death is part of life and we have to accept that many times it throws a lot of surprises. Very many surprises…like the death of Ghana’s very own beautiful, young, vibrant, talented and sexy Ebony Reigns. Yes, I included sexy in describing her because sexy is never a bad thing, whether you like it or not. 😊

God is the giver of life and talents, but not all lives will be appreciated and not all talents will be seen as profitable to God or society…in the eyes of some people. No matter who you are, all of society will not accept you even if you do all you can to please them. Society can never love you for the totality of who you are…only God can! And it’s not entirely their fault because they can’t see the depths of a person’s heart as God sees it

Yeah, it’s right that “out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks” and that “by their fruits we shall know them”, etc; but sometimes we need to look deep into a person’s heart before we judge them, condemn them or write them off. That’s how we kill people and their dreams even before they mature…quick judgements and instant disapprovals even in the Church. Sometimes I don’t know how different the Church is from society because we’ve messed it all up. 

It’s true that all a person can know about you is what you put out there. They can never know the depths of your heart and the extent of your connection with God, even if you act a certain way in Church or in society…only God sees your heart. 

I believe almost all gifts find their source with God. And irrespective of who we are in life and how we use those gifts, we are all searching for God to fully understand who He is and that’s why we can all not be at the same level of understanding of who God is and how we relate with Him. Truth is, He deals with, reveals Himself and relates with all of us differently. 

It is sad to know that not all Pastors (or us Christians) even will go to heaven, yet we are the same people who judge others so much more than we pray for them or even show them a bit of kindness. Humanity goes beyond religion…we are humans first before our quest for spiritual perfection and moral uprightness. 

We really seem to forget always that we are humans first before everything else turned us against each other. Even religion (e.g. Christianity) that was supposed to have made us better has made a lot of us worse (we use our religion as a cover to hide all the ills we do secretly and only paint those whose sins are in the open as the ones not deserving of grace but death). 

Never for once do we put aside everything and just be humans…created to feel for our own species. 

It’s very sad that everyone who is not a Christian we are quick to conclude is having bad influence on society and so their death shouldn’t matter. It is just sad because how many of us have family members who are not Christians yet their death will be a pain to us? Well, like I always say, if it never hits right at home, you will never understand what it means to lose someone…just anybody. When your time comes, you will know.  

Every human being is a soul and every soul has value, depending on how you look at it. No loss (death) is ever easy to bear. Only God knows the right answers to the questions we ask when people die and I sure can bet that sometimes, there are many who we mark for hell on earth because of certain lifestyles they have yet they transit into heaven…because in their dying moment something strange happens. Consider the sinner on the cross with Jesus. 

Our hearts must express sadness for all lost souls and their families…it’s just the right thing to feel as a human being. 

The world would be a better place if we put humanity above our differences and not make society and our denominational identities corrupt the values inherent in our humanness. 

Society has a way of forcing a certain imprint on you and call you all sorts of names just because they think you don’t fit in. Churches want you to look a certain way to fit in. Your family wants you to look a certain way to fit in. Your work place wants you to look a certain way to fit in. Your friends want you to look a certain way to fit in. Everywhere you go, you have to adopt a certain different personality to fit in. There’s therefore so many sides to a person. 

No wonder we act differently when we are in church than when we are in different other spheres within society (the world). Everybody is crying wolf their opinion about you or their way of life is the right way for you to adopt. So yeah, it’s cool when society doesn’t appreciate ones many sides and it takes ones death for them to now see the full package. 

But it’s very sad though and we need to rise above that! Till then we can only pray God continues to bless our hustle! 

Rest well Ebony! Your hustle has ended but society’s ill judgements will continue. We hope we survive it. There’s a lesson in your death…and we hope we learn it. 

©Mark Gadogbe (McApple), 2018

You’re just different…not abnormal! 

Truth is we are all created differently and we will all live vastly different lives. If the life that I live and the choices that I make does not look anything like yours…you don’t have to be too quick to question that. 

God is so wise that He’s given us all different destinies, different callings in life, different ambitions, different passions, different careers, different backgrounds, different life experiences, different everything. In fact, even our physiques are different. 

As long as we are within the will of God, you’ve got to let us alone sometimes and give us some room to breathe! 

But of course, if we’re outside the will of God, you’ve got to correct us and we have to be humble enough to accept correction…at least God will want that for us. 

Alright, so cheers to breaking free from all the labels! You’ve got to…trust me! 😂🙏
©Mark Gadogbe (McApple), 2018

Marriage & Personal Development Author 

Promises and Realities

​At the beginning, love is based on the promise of a life together; later, it is built on the reality of a life shared.

That’s a very profound truth. But not only that; it also presents us with two extremes or opposites: Promises vs Realities.

The problem is that people are not very accepting of realities. They always and constantly wish the stark realities away. They want to forever live in a bubble…never planning ahead what they will do when the bubbles burst. They act as if it’s impossible for bubbles to even burst. 

We pray for all the good things to happen to us…but never for the wisdom to know what to do when good things don’t happen to us, knowing very well the reality that good things will not always happen to us in life. 

Life is a bit of good here…a bit of bad here; a bit of success here…a bit of failure here; a bit of happiness here…a bit of sadness here; a bit of right choices here…a bit of wrong choices here; a bit of life here…and a bit of death on the side.

How long will you last in any venture (relationship, marriage, business, etc) when the winds of realities test you? How prepared will you be? How often do you pause in life to assess your situations? Is your assessment of the fortunes of your relationship blinded by love? Will you accept the realities of your shortcomings or lack of foresight which probably caused you that relationship, marriage, or business? 

 

Life’s not a competition 

We are not in competition with anyone. 

The race of life is self run. God has a lane for everyone. Those who know their life purpose stay in their lane. 

Those who have grace don’t do things to prove a point to anybody. Any man or woman that lacks grace is impatient to succeed. 

When it’s your time, every door will open for you and nothing can stop your destiny

#LifeIsFreedom

Unmarried sex and pregnancy

Just “misguidedly” get pregnant without being married and you will know whether the church that claims it loves you or everybody (sinners included) really do. If they don’t call you names, shame you, roll eyes at you like angels…come back and tell me. The church has a history and statistics in that area.

 

The same people that will treat you in church like dirt when your sins or “shortcomings” come to the open, are the same people who indulge in secret sins…some more grave than yours. It’s simple…the church’s attitude screams “do it but don’t get caught”; hide it as much as you can, otherwise you are in for trouble.

 

That is why the ones who get pregnant and immediately marry as “damage control” are more “accepted” by the church than the ones who unfortunately don’t. Trust me, when a church leader gets somebody pregnant, you can bet that the church will encourage and support him to immediately marry her. In that situation, the Church is OK with applying the Exodus 22:16 scripture to support the action [Read old post on that scripture here: Fornication…]. They will do everything possible to clean the mess of a church leader from getting into the public domain. We’ve seen, heard, and read of it countless times. But let the tables turn and a mere church member get tangled in same situation. You will see a different scripture and modus operandi being applied or enforced. Let a church elder or Pastor’s child get in the same mess as a mere member and just watch how both situations will be handled. The church cares more about protecting the image of its leaders and their household than the image of its members.

 

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When we say there is no fairness or equality in the church and can never be, people say we are just “fault finders”. Well, whatever it is, some of us choose to live with the simple principle that when you raise your expectations of church, just like anything else, you risk getting hurt. So, just do Christ; don’t do Church.

 

The church as a human setting is full of judgmental people. Period! If you don’t want to be judged and discriminated against, don’t go to church; otherwise, keep an open eye and open mind and expect the worse to sometimes happen. It’s simple…the church preaches forgiveness and repentance but judges and shames “saved” people who fall back into certain sins! Just accept it because it’s the truth everywhere. Some sins are pardonable, others are not…and by now you should know where the sin of unmarried pregnancy falls. The church treats it as an abomination, a detestable thing that is deserving of hate…and not love. If you can deal with it, stay. If you can’t, leave and find solace where your soul will get the peace it needs. Your destiny is not tied to a church, it’s tied to Christ.

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But truth for me is, no child should be treated as an abomination whether conceived in wedlock or out of wedlock. Sadly, the church will rather be happier you secretly kill or abort a child and come back to the front roll next Sunday and shout “glory hallelujah” as if nothing happened. But a church that makes you see a “child from a forgivable act” as an abomination should not be a good environment for you and your child. You may not like it but whether you do or not, nobody goes to or stays at a place where they are disliked. Well, I wouldn’t.

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Nobody says churches should encourage promiscuity, sin or wrongdoing. Whether they think shaming people deters others from same acts; or accepting, loving and supporting them encourages others into same acts…whichever way they look at it, the ultimate should be doing what Jesus would have done. No good parent teaches or encourages his/her children to be promiscuous, but when they go wayward (because one can never rule out that possibility, even God or Jesus wouldn’t), what do good parents do?

 

Nonetheless, whatever the failings of the church, may God grant grace that we flee fornication so we would not have to deal with all the negatives of unmarried pregnancies.

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© Mark Gadogbe (McApple)

Marriage & Personal Development Author

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Virgin or not? 

​”…so, are you a virgin?”

Few years ago, I think that question used to be the one boys and girls feared most? And it keeps coming up many times in conversations. 

I bet many lied back in the days because the eyes that will be staring at you when that question drops will scare the hell out of you. It appears it was safe (especially for ladies) to say you are than to say you are not…to avoid being judged or being perceived wrongly. 

I doubt if same question carries that much weight today. The times in which we now are, I bet your friends won’t even ask you because majority already suspect someway somehow that you’re not. I bet such topics are not even broached. And I bet people will wish to sue you for demanding to know whether they are or not…if they have the liberty to. Lol. 

But whatever the case may be, I guess the subject of virginity will always remain a very sensitive one huh? 

To be or not be? Well, In some people’s world, it’s a matter of choice than morality. In other people’s dictionary (especially the non-religious carefree ones), “virginity does not necessarily make one holy”. But whatever you are, don’t worry…you can just begin to think like Ann Rinaldi: 

At least that gives us all a common denominator. 

Raise your hand if life has never ever screwed you!

(Haha, Happy Friday! Just some funny thought that crept into my head and I wanted to write it down 😂)

©Mark Gadogbe (McApple), 2017

Don’t burn your bridges

I was your bridge when you needed one

Your life saving help

To cross that mighty ocean

That threatened to swallow you alive

No matter how small my bridge

It helped you cross over

I bet the feeling was great

Like that of being alive

A new year to behold

Like I was to you, many have been to me

Life does get so hard sometimes

That every once in a while

We all need bridges to ride over our fears

It’s human to require another’s help in times of need

But if the bridges we burn after crossing

If our promises we fail to honour

If our part of the bargain we fail to uphold

We demonstrate a limited insight into life’s uncertainties

But life has a way of bringing us back

To the same bridges we travelled in times past

For good or for bad, our fate then we will learn.

 

© Mark Gadogbe (McApple), 2017

Marriage & Personal Development Author

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The soul mate race…

No matter how many times you fail in life or in a competition the rules will never change for you…it remains the same. Same applies to relationships and the race to winning a soul mate and life companion. It wouldn’t matter how many heartbreaks or disappointments you experienced in your search, the rules and people will not change for you…you still got to try over and over again. The work lies with you, not with them. You can sit and lament all you want, blame a million people if you like…but that will not change your status. If you still want it, then you got to go for it again and again…the Philippians 3:13 style (forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead).

 

©Mark Gadogbe (McApple), 2017

Marriage & Personal Development Author