Unappreciated

One day, those who think we don’t care enough will realize we were the ones who cared most for them after all. Just maybe it will be too late then.

Many times we break our back for people but they don’t see it because we always put them in front or ahead of us and our own needs. That is simply because of how much we love or value them, but if they were behind us or had we made their needs secondary to ours, they would have seen.

Sometimes, people make you want to regret being there for them or losing yourself to rather make their dreams come true. Later, they begin to treat you or relate with you like you had no dreams of your own. They begin to make you feel like you are a loser – and they probably are right when you begin to think about all the years, time and resources you have lost “supporting” them. People are in many ways ungrateful and forget so easily how our own dreams died to keep theirs alive.

Maybe the problem is people being wired to think it does not cost a thing to help others or some are just born deserving of help like some kind of a birthright (they call it grace). Helping people costs so much…it did cost Jesus His life! Grace did come at a cost. Duh!

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©Mark Gadogbe, 2022

Vacuum

Emotional attachment is important for building healthy and committed love relationships but can also be a very costly thing.

You build your life around one person (your partner) for years and suddenly they decide to leave or move away…to pursue new dreams, goals, aspirations and better their life – and hopefully, both of your lives. A difficult choice is made that leaves little room for making changes or compromises that includes you. You understand, but then you also realize that dreams of a better future have taken first place over you. You have to relearn to build life alone and apart, while realizing distance has a way of shattering bonds – both physical and emotional.

You realize that if you fall in love with a bird, you have to let it fly…you must not take away its wings. You must not cage a bird for its happiness depends on flying. If you’re married to a fish, you must let it swim.

You also realize that, much as you may desire it, life cannot always be lived together with a significant other. There are times you will be together, there are times you will be apart. Just that if you are high on emotional attachment, no matter how brief or long the parting away is, no matter the good reasons and future rewards, and no matter how often you try to stay in touch, something leaves you, a big part of you dies within, your emotional attachment bubble bursts…you feel a vacuum left. Everything changes…until you’re back to building life together again. If nothing changes, then you’re not that emotionally attached.

#ShortNotes

©Mark Gadogbe, 2022

Featured Image Source: https://www.instagram.com/p/CD_8UeyH7Ur/?utm_medium=copy_link

Life: It’s okay to feel lost sometimes

Ever been at that point in life when you feel you’re just existing and nothing is really happening for you? Yeah, life does come in phases, and some phases will surely suck.

The journey life takes us on can sometimes be strange, and other times fascinating. Can’t imagine how many times we feel lost and disappointed life doesn’t take us on the exact journey we carefully planned for ourselves and worked hard for.

But somehow it eventually ends well, we hope. Maybe the harvest is nigh and we need not give up!

“It’s okay if you’re lost, we’re all a little lost and it’s alright” ~Nightbirde

©Mark Gadogbe, 2021

Featured Image Source: https://instagram.com/_nightbirde?utm_medium=copy_link

Stand Up! Stand Tall!

Perhaps, we should not live life expecting people will always stand up for us or stand with us…because most often they won’t and we would be left disappointed. People these days don’t put their neck on the line for others. Rarely will you find people standing with you in your problems; many will only do from a comfortable distance but will not go through the thick and thin with you all the way.

We must perhaps accept the fact that life is, and gets lonely, and therefore learn to stand up for ourselves every time and when we fail trying to, just accept our fate and move on.

In the face of life’s trials, we hope to get the courage to stand strong and tall, even if we must alone. It does get so hard fighting life alone, but the reality is that sometimes life offers no other options, except being your own life support, backbone and motivator. You can’t force people to always be there for you, and even if they promise to, chances are that they will fail you; so we maybe just have to be mentally prepared to face life alone and on our own terms. The decisions or mental preparations we make today may sometimes be the difference between whether we can weather tomorrow’s storms or not when they do come.

Like a child learning to walk, we can always learn to get up when we’re down at our lowest and alone in life’s battles, with nobody standing for or with us. Our mental preparation and baby steps back up will eventually lead to giant leaps to the top. The struggle is real but to give up we must not.

Stand up, stand tall, through it all!

©Mark Gadogbe, 2021

Cover Image Source: https://instagram.com/grittyvibes?utm_medium=copy_link

Bittersweet life…

At the most fundamental level, life is simple and basically made up of both good and bad (evil). The fact remains that everything you’re looking for in life, you’ll find both good and bad. Good and bad kind of coexist in this life and it is simply our job to find a balance. There are good people; there are bad people…and we’ll experience them all, whether we like it or not.

Similarly, there are good investments and there are bad investments. There are good Christians / Christian leaders and there are bad ones too. There are good jobs and there are bad jobs. There are good parents and there are bad parents. There are very great relationships and marriages; and there are equally very bad or toxic ones. Also, and quite importantly, there is good sex and there is bad sex. 😊

Life is superficially simple but most times gets complicated, quite frankly, because of the juggling of all these many good and bad experiences. And the more we grow and experience life in much more details, the more complicated things get. The only sure way to avoid a complicated life is to remain babies. But, grow we must!

Quite frankly, we can’t live life just wishing the bad away; at some point, we will experience bad people, bad situations and stuff that will basically try to suck the very life out of us. Whilst that is actually normal in principle, it is also a make or break situation in reality.

Perhaps, it is only when life has got you into a state of hopelessness, chronic depression, giving in to suicidal thoughts, suffering protracted health conditions or terminal illness, experiencing extreme hardship, or having to deal with loved ones in such state, etc., that you will understand the stark reality of the breaking point situation.

Our outlook on life will be largely influenced by which of the two worlds (good or bad) we mostly come into contact with. Should you find anybody with a bad outlook on life and so lost on hope, check their history of life experiences. And if you are privileged to have experienced a lot of the goodies of life, don’t be too quick to judge or write others off.

©Mark Gadogbe, 2021

Featured image credit: https://instagram.com/curlsaunaturelkids?utm_medium=copy_link

While we live…

Many die before they are appreciated.

Sadly so, will be the story of many still living. One day, when our life’s work here is ended, our place and value in the lives of many will be realized. A void will surely be left as we become nothing, but a fond memory.

Surely, a lot of good will be said also in our tribute, but they will all be words of comfort and appreciation we would have loved to hear while we lived.

©Mark Gadogbe, 2021

Featured Image Credit: https://instagram.com/blackart365?igshid=16s8lm3gppzge

Owning up to our realities

All there is to life is facing reality. You can’t escape the realities of life; you can only live through it (facing one reality after the other) and hope to grow through it. Nobody’s life is easier; we are all facing realities, but just differently.

Reality is always staring us in the face but we always try to look the other way. Many times, we truly just don’t want to face reality. Perhaps, it’s a much bitter pill to swallow; so, we keep trying to run away from it…forgetting that we may only be plunging ourselves into another reality in a different form.

If you think somebody’s life is rosier than yours, think again. If you think somebody’s relationship/marriage is better, happier and shinier than yours, think again. Accept yours as it is and invest in it. If you think those who are married are better and more fulfilled than you, think again, my dear. If you think those living in cosier houses, environment and own expensive cars are way much better and happier than you, think again. If you think those who are academically more accomplished than you are better than you, spare yourself a moment and think through again.

Perhaps, you also think those who have never experienced a relationship failure (“broken heart”) are better than you? Think again. Do you know what they might have lost in life? Well, maybe you might also be thinking those who married young are better than you who married late? Think again, for in this life, nothing is ever a sure guarantee.

No permutation is ever a sure bet in this life, trust me. We’ve seen young people die in their prime. We’ve seen young marriages collapse. We’ve seen far too many young people becoming widows and widowers. We’ve seen people’s fortunes turn upside down just overnight. We’ve seen and heard all the unthinkable happen! Why then do we place so much confidence in this life and worry ourselves to death, thinking we are perhaps the only ones experiencing the harsh realities of life, and trying to wish it away? You may be surprised that life is fucking everybody up!

It’s important you enjoy your own little life and be thankful for it, for the day you hear people’s full stories, you would wish you were never them. If life could be traded or exchanged, many will regret purchasing other people’s lives. People only show you what they want to show you, and trust me, there’s so much gabbage in people’s lives that you wouldn’t want to buy or even envy, if only you knew the full story. People are fighting hidden battles we are never privileged to see.

Sometimes, it is only when God opens our eyes to see what is going on in other people’s lives that we become thankful and accepting of our own realities. In such moments we realize after all, that our own lives and realities are perhaps better off than we thought or imagined.

We should make the best of our time here on earth for life in itself is not promised (guaranteed). Here today, gone tomorrow. That’s the life we’re truly living. Grace is the only differentiator.

©Mark Gadogbe, 2021

Cover image credit: https://instagram.com/museumofblackart?igshid=9r194jprooxh

A Philanthropist in Need?

Sometimes, the people who make the big sacrifices, who readily go out of their way to help others, don’t get help easily when they need it.

Maybe people just don’t believe their helpers can also ever be in need. How can a Philanthropist ever be in need?

But thank goodness there’s a God who supplies man’s every need.

Man out of his limited resources will draw, but God’s resources are limitless; what better helper than Him? He alone remains our help in ages past; our hope for years to come!

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©Mark Gadogbe, 2020

When we get to Heaven, we’ll be surprised

When I Got to Heaven….

I was shocked, confused, bewildered
As I entered Heaven’s door
Not by the beauty of it all
By the lights or its decor.

But it was the folks in Heaven
Who made me sputter and gasp
The thieves, the liars, the sinners
The alcoholics, the trash.

There stood the kid from seventh grade
Who swiped my lunch money twice
Next to him was my old neighbor
Who never said anything nice.

Uncle Bill, who I always thought
Was rotting away in hell
Was sitting pretty on cloud nine
Looking incredibly well.

I nudged Jesus, “What’s the deal?
I would love to hear Your take
How’d all these sinners get up here?
God must have made a mistake.”

“And why is everyone so quiet
So somber? Please give me a clue.”
“Hush, child,” said He. “They’re all in shock
No one thought they’d see you!”

Never judge another person – leave that up to God!

Always remember; never forget

Here are some things to always remember…and one thing to never forget.

Your presence is a present to the world.
You’re unique and one of a kind.
Your life can be what you want it to be.
Take the days just one at a time.

Count your blessings, not your troubles.
You’ll make it through whatever comes along.
Within you are so many answers.
Understand, have courage, be strong.

Don’t put limits on yourself.
So many dreams are waiting to be realized.
Decisions are too important to leave to chance.
Reach for your peak, your goal, and your prize.

Nothing wastes more energy than worrying.
The longer one carries a problem, the heavier it gets.
Don’t take things too seriously.
Live a life of serenity, not a life of regrets.

Remember that a little love goes a long way.
Remember that a lot . . . goes forever.
Remember that friendship is a wise investment.
Life’s treasures are people . . . together.

Realize that it’s never too late.
Do ordinary things in an extraordinary way.
Have health and hope and happiness.
Take the time to wish upon a star.

And don’t ever forget . . .
For even a day . . .
How very special you are.