Many times when people begin to isolate from the crowd (friends, family, social activities, etc) and keep to themselves, chances are that all is not well with them. They may be fighting battles way bigger than themselves.
Loneliness and seclusion is never a healthy sign, it’s never fun. Check on people. They may not be willing to talk about their issues, but it may mean a lot to them that someone did check up on them.
©Mark Gadogbe, 2022
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Emotional attachment is important for building healthy and committed love relationships but can also be a very costly thing.
You build your life around one person (your partner) for years and suddenly they decide to leave or move away…to pursue new dreams, goals, aspirations and better their life – and hopefully, both of your lives. A difficult choice is made that leaves little room for making changes or compromises that includes you. You understand, but then you also realize that dreams of a better future have taken first place over you. You have to relearn to build life alone and apart, while realizing distance has a way of shattering bonds – both physical and emotional.
You realize that if you fall in love with a bird, you have to let it fly…you must not take away its wings. You must not cage a bird for its happiness depends on flying. If you’re married to a fish, you must let it swim.
You also realize that, much as you may desire it, life cannot always be lived together with a significant other. There are times you will be together, there are times you will be apart. Just that if you are high on emotional attachment, no matter how brief or long the parting away is, no matter the good reasons and future rewards, and no matter how often you try to stay in touch, something leaves you, a big part of you dies within, your emotional attachment bubble bursts…you feel a vacuum left. Everything changes…until you’re back to building life together again. If nothing changes, then you’re not that emotionally attached.
©Mark Gadogbe, 2022
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Perhaps, we should not live life expecting people will always stand up for us or stand with us…because most often they won’t and we would be left disappointed. People these days don’t put their neck on the line for others. Rarely will you find people standing with you in your problems; many will only do from a comfortable distance but will not go through the thick and thin with you all the way.
We must perhaps accept the fact that life is, and gets lonely, and therefore learn to stand up for ourselves every time and when we fail trying to, just accept our fate and move on.
In the face of life’s trials, we hope to get the courage to stand strong and tall, even if we must alone. It does get so hard fighting life alone, but the reality is that sometimes life offers no other options, except being your own life support, backbone and motivator. You can’t force people to always be there for you, and even if they promise to, chances are that they will fail you; so we maybe just have to be mentally prepared to face life alone and on our own terms. The decisions or mental preparations we make today may sometimes be the difference between whether we can weather tomorrow’s storms or not when they do come.
Like a child learning to walk, we can always learn to get up when we’re down at our lowest and alone in life’s battles, with nobody standing for or with us. Our mental preparation and baby steps back up will eventually lead to giant leaps to the top. The struggle is real but to give up we must not.
Stand up, stand tall, through it all!
©Mark Gadogbe, 2021
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A gamble on love
So much like the casting
Of “He loves me, he loves me not” lots
Feels like the spoil of life’s bliss
Like a drain of one’s life
A “if wishes were horses” feeling
A joint experience of love
That only remains a wish and a dream
A strange loneliness
In an affair meant for two souls
A longing unsatisfied
A love unnoticed
A love unreturned
A love true but in vain
Could be the worse experience of love
Yet the overcoming like a necessary evil