THE CHOSEN

From many I chose you

‘Cos you were the most favourable amongst them

Your lovely character seduced me

And played tricks on my emotions

A part of me gets excited at thy graceful sight

An excitement that heightens

With every lovely thought of you

You are so amazing a figure

A blessing amongst all the Lord’s carvings

So beautiful a living monument

So sweet a manifestation

Of God’s gift of love to me

My heart craves strongly for thy love

And breaks whenever thy love

So rich and true

Is far from reach

Inside my emotions are stacked up

Like full old wineskins ready to burst

I have been looking for so long

And I bless the day I found you

‘Cos you brought light to my spirit

Oh how the light of my soul shone the brightest

The day you accepted as true, promising and trustworthy

Those carefully chosen and well rehearsed sugar-coated words

In your eyes I find the radiance of true love

Your lips are so blessed with soothing words

That puts my agitated spirit to a sweet sound rest

That reassures my soul of a hope

And a future not too far away

A life together and forever

© Mark Gadogbe (McApple)

(PS: A poem to mark the celebration of our marriage proposal anniversary today)

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Everybody is loveable 

God has made everybody loveable. You don’t have to agree with it; that’s just what I think. 

But if that is true, then no matter what, you should be able to find someone you can love and marry…unless you’re being too picky/choosy or keep having unnecessarily high expectations. Or maybe your problem is that you want somebody who’s exactly like yourself (which you can never find).

Problem of choice

Things will be too easy in marriage if you find somebody exactly like yourself. God made marriage a training ground so that two individuals (opposites) can learn to better themselves, sharpening each other just as iron sharpeneth iron (Proverbs 27:17).

If you’re really serious, you should find someone…unless you want to sit for God to just drop an “already made” person on your lap or in your bed so you can just get on with it 😂. You are waiting for “your match made in heaven“, the exact person whose rib you’ve been created from or who is the product of your rib?

You may wait for eternity…or maybe I should ask, how will you even know or recognize your missing rib? Be there and keep searching for your missing rib or waiting arms folded for your Prince Charming…literally. Me “sef” do I know if my adorable wife has my missing rib? 😂 I’m not interested in any missing rib thing even if there is a 1:1 male to female ratio in my country or even the world. I know physically and spiritually, I will weary myself trying to dissect all the women in the world just to know and be sure she’s made of my rib. Every woman is a potential “missing rib” so drop all those long wish lists and just take one 😝.

The thing I like about men is that they will easily admit that Charley, I know I’ve lost a lot of time on getting a partner and I seriously need a partner because I’m not happy being still single at this age. But for today’s independent women, no way…their rhetoric is that they are happy being single and independent. 

Well woman, keep telling yourself you are happy being single and you don’t need a man to make you happy or satisfy you because you can pleasure yourself down there. Of course nobody is dumb enough to expect you to cry in public for want of a man…but we know you “cry” when alone at night, bother God with a million prayer petitions and probably drink yourself to stupor over the thought of being single at 30, 40, 50??  What you should know about that false confidence is that you can’t tell everyone (the public) you don’t need a man and then have men come throwing themselves at you? You don’t need us, we not coming. 😂

Society is full of people and counting back to all the years since you started having feelings for the opposite sex, chances are that you have met a lot of people who could have been your “potential spouse”. You can’t say you can’t find a wife/husband. Where have you been looking all these years? Chances are you’ve been wasting too much time on people who don’t know what they want with you. 

I know you will say I don’t understand the journey you’ve traveled, so I’m sorry I hurt your feelings. Let me leave it here before I hurt you further 😊. Best of luck then. 

(PS: Don’t take this post too serious or as a judgemental piece. Nonetheless, we’ll love to hear your thoughts 😉).

©Mark Gadogbe (McApple), 2017

Marriage killers

​”We put everything ahead of marriage and then wonder why it fails”

Whatever comes between you and your marriage is a marriage killer…be it positives like the Church, the kids, friends, family, and job; or negatives like addictions, bad habits, adultery, negative mentalities, etc. 

Whatever does not edify your marriage…watch it. Whoever is always willing to bring a charge against your marriage because he/she finds nothing good in your marriage should not be kept as company. Bad company corrupts good habits. 

In the course of a marriage, there is a lot of time to develop and to become divine lovers. That is where your marriage must get to. 

Work at it, pruning off all the negatives one step at a time. It’s possible to become divine lovers! We have the Grace; all we need to do is to put in the works. 

©Mark Gadogbe (McApple), 2017 

So much hurt; too afraid to hope again

​IT’S NOT LOVE…when it trifles with your soft heart and piece by piece tears it apart and having won dumps you in a grave of pain, scarring your life with grief and bequeathing to you debts of regret!

Many people today are afraid to hope because they have been hurt so much in life. 

They have had so many disappointments and so many relationship and marital breakups that they don’t think they can face the pain of another. They are left with emotional scars and baggage from past failed relationships or marriages that has wrecked their trust and skyrocketed their fears. 

They have lost all their beautiful smiles, joys, trust, confidence…and the Devil has taken advantage to set up in them negative thoughts, lifestyles and false realities.

LORD WE NEED YOU TO SHOW YOURSELF MIGHTY IN SUCH LIVES. RESTORE THEIR HOPE AND LET THEM KNOW YOU’RE ABLE TO TURN THINGS AROUND! 

Help them let go of the past and trust in Your promise of a better future. Help them realize that in Isaiah 43:19, You told Your people not to dwell on the past but to recognize that You’re doing something new. 

Constantly remind them of the truth found in Psalm 147:3, that you God heals the broken.

Just help them…someway, somehow! 

Marriage is a blessing

God has given you a great blessing in your spouse and in your marriage. God speaks highly of marriage because it is one of His blessings to mankind. 

Focus then on the good in your spouse and marriage, and celebrate. Always celebrate each other! Always! 

At the same time, realize that your marriage is bigger than you and your spouse. So, allow your relationship to also be a blessing to other couples (or even singles if you like). You don’t have to be a marriage “expert” to do this. You can help somebody from your unique experiences in marriage.

Finally, always bear in mind: 

“what’s taken for granted will eventually be taken away; then you end up missing most what you least appreciated”

©Mark Gadogbe (McApple), 2017

​My Chemist wife…

One of the joys of being married to my wife is how her field or career in Chemistry fascinates a “layman” like me and gets me cracking up many times. The intelligence is just far beyond my small brain! 

When she was doing her undergraduate thesis in computational quantum chemistry, I never understood anything, right from her research topic to her findings. The topic got reshaped a few times but I think the final topic was something like “Density Functional Theory Study of the Mechanism of Oxidation of Ethylene by Tungstyl Chloride“. No matter how many times she tried to explain her research work to me, the end result will be me shaking my head in disbelief at the “wonders she is cooking up“. Sometimes it gets her angry, other times it gets us both laughing hysterically. 

In my attempt to see in reality what she was up to, I once visited her in the Computation Lab but all I saw was some “dancing molecules” on the computer screen. Since then, “dancing molecules” became a term that gets us both cracking up. 

Similarly, during her masters research, one of the funniest experiences I get is when I’m talking to people about her and they ask me what research she is working on or what her research topic is. 

But how can I possibly keep a topic like “Synthesis and characterization of (pyrazolylphosphinite)nickel(II) and palladium(II) complexes and their catalytic activity towards olefin oligomerization” in mind, or just by looking at the topic have the slightest idea what the research is about? My only way of escape is to say she is doing something in the inorganic field that involves catalysis. Haha. 

When I first saw her topic and one of her many ChemDraw® chemical structures that literally gave me headache because I couldn’t understand what in the world it is, I immediately understood why she spends all those “ungodly hours” unreachable in the Lab. 

And I must confess, I tried a couple of times to read her entire thesis with hope that I will understand something but the only pages I understood were the “Dedication” and “Acknowledgement” pages. Those were the only pages written for layman’s understanding. Perhaps it’s also because something caught my eyes on that page that lighted them up to see clearer than before? 😂 

That is, I could not imagine how a whole thesis that I do not understand gets dedicated to “me myself and I“.

But well, I guess that’s one of the best things about marriage: once you marry, almost every major achievement, accomplishment, or milestone gets dedicated to you. Haha. Hope that encourages somebody to get married soon. 😂😜

The confidence that Chemistry gives my wife knows no bounds. With it, at least she’s been able to at one point in her life convince her sisters into believing that she can prepare concoctions from almost anything. 😂 😂 Who wouldn’t believe that, when a day never ends without you hearing “I’m going to the lab to prepare some reactions“? 

Well, Chemistry must be a field for those with higher brains (can’t believe I just indirectly implied my wife is smarter than me 😜). Well, she’s very brilliant, that’s for sure, and I can see her doing many amazing things in the future! And from her we’ve learned that anything is possible in life once you have the almighty Chemistry and Jesus in your boat. Init? 😉

As I write this post I’m reminded today marks 7 years since I started out on this love journey with a very naive chemistry student at the time. Cheers to you Julia McGad for balancing my “chemical equations” so well! I look forward to the PhD (Doctorate) experience 😉.


(PS: This post is also to encourage and pledge support for all the amazing women (“beauties with brains”) in the STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Mathematics) fields to keep pushing to greater heights 💪👏😍)

©Mark Gadogbe (McApple), 2017

THE BEAUTY IN A WIFE

Everyone has beauty but not everyone sees it

But the beauty of a good wife speaks and shows for itself

A timeless beauty that is reflected in her soul

One that grows exponentially with each passing day

One that is evident in the passion she glamorously exhibits

And the unadulterated love she offers

Her heart is a fountain of unceasing love and forgiveness

Nothing measures up to the depth of warmth

And the fondness felt in the embrace of a good wife

In her embrace her spouse feels a sense of peace and security

In her embrace her spouse feels never alone

And never forgotten

In a world that can be so cruel

For your many beautiful acts of love

I say thank you, my love, my wife, my beautiful

On this International Women’s Day

For thou oh Julia art a woman worth celebrating everyday

 

© Mark Gadogbe (McApple), 2017

Marriage & Personal Development Author

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