memories – Everything Marriage

Death Note

Posted on June 13, 2021June 13, 2021 by McApple

You see, people die everyday, and people will always die as long as the earth exists.

I don’t care who we choose to blame when someone dies – some blame God and give up on Him. They are of the strong opinion that, He being a good God means He shouldn’t allow people to die. Perhaps, that’s a very limited way of thinking about it.

You see, when God took away the most important person in my life, He didn’t forget to leave me the most important lesson about life and death. That lesson for me is that when He (God) takes away a loved one from us, He makes sure He leaves what’s most important about the person with us – right here in our hearts. And that’s not for us to be bitter and hateful of Him (well, He still gives us the choice to), but to still know He cares enough to give us such a heart and fond memories of them.

Perhaps, a deep mind and strong grounding in Christ is required to fully comprehend God’s ways.

So here’s catch, when I die… hahaha, don’t worry, I will definitely die one day, for it’s only a fool who thinks he will never die; I only ask of you one thing: that you should not be bitter with my God, my maker. Can u do that?
I hope and I pray thee!! 😊

©Mark Gadogbe, 2021

While we live…

Posted on May 15, 2021May 15, 2021 by McApple

Many die before they are appreciated.

Sadly so, will be the story of many still living. One day, when our life’s work here is ended, our place and value in the lives of many will be realized. A void will surely be left as we become nothing, but a fond memory.

Surely, a lot of good will be said also in our tribute, but they will all be words of comfort and appreciation we would have loved to hear while we lived.

©Mark Gadogbe, 2021

Featured Image Credit: https://instagram.com/blackart365?igshid=16s8lm3gppzge

Relationships and the crazy things we do for love

Posted on October 6, 2017October 6, 2017 by McApple

Today is the 3rd anniversary of the day I officially proposed marriage to my wife with a ring. I used the word officially because I have always known in my heart that I didn’t need to pose the question “will you marry me?” before I can be sure that she would or wouldn’t accept to marry me.

The circumstances of our relationship made me feel popping the question was just the Western world or movies thing that has become many African lady’s fantasy and I felt I was not cut out for that. That’s because for us, we have throughout the relationship made each other know clearly that it is a relationship leading to marriage and not just a short-term romantic relationship or testing of the waters or the “you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your Prince” thing. She was my first love relationship and I didn’t plan on jumping into a series of relationships.

That’s the level of commitment we started with from day one and because of that we had countless times discussed topics relating to marriage and her actions have always proved she can’t possibly say no to marriage if I should pop the question anyday. In fact, I was not even planning on doing that “will you marry me” proposal thing but something happened and I figured it seems almost every lady wants the proposal with rings to happen as a way of launching the marriage phase before actually starting preparations for marriage.

But for a guy like me who always wants value for money, I didn’t see why I should spend money on a ring that she may not even wear in public because of our cultural, societal and religious perceptions. At the time, though just 3 years ago, there was no way she was going to wear that ring to church (we being choristers and all the “pious standards” that makes you feel having a boyfriend is even a sin? 😂) or in public without having to answer to so many people who would ask too many unwarranted questions.

It’s not like these days that rings have become a fashion thing that we see ladies wearing rings on all five fingers and nobody cares. And truly I don’t really remember she wearing that ring freely in the open…coupled with that confusion out there over which finger wears such rings, whether the marriage ring finger or middle finger and all that? 😂 So many different views out there on that thing…smh. Those days the old men and old ladies of the church will never spare you with a ring on whichever finger when not married 😂. Plus the fact that even if she wears it even, it will be for barely some two or three months before marriage made little economic sense to me at the time. But I’ve never regretted it because it makes a lot of romantic or emotional sense to women and we get to benefit from satisfying that need anyways 😂.

OK, so back to what I actually wanted to share? Today’s anniversary made me remember possibly the craziest thing I made my wife do. We had started marriage counselling then I guess, and on one evening outing, I forced her to wear some miniskirt I bought for her during my studies in UK.

It was a crazy suggestion and the way she looked at me in bewilderment spoke volumes. She’s not a miniskirt person and had never worn any before…none that very short. If you’re a committed church person like her, you would know she’s the type that obeys the “skirt must not go above the knee” rule to the core.

And here I was suggesting she wears one so short that it can practically reveal her bum. 😂 She blatantly refused and even after I kept convincing her by suggesting she “do something crazy for once in your life“, she went like “what if we meet our Pastor or someone from the church?” That phrase got me, and I couldn’t stop laughing and all the while thinking “like seriously? who cares?”

As usual I think I gave her all the arguments of whether she thinks Pastors are saints, whether she knows what their wives wear for them at home, whether she thinks Pastor’s wives don’t wear g-strings, whether Pastors never feel sexy and act like really bad boys in bed with all the Playboy moves or she thinks they quote scriptures when coming to sleep with their wives.

I’m sure all that line of argument for a simple question bored her into just giving in and wearing the damn thing 😂. And I secretly took my camera along cos there was no way I was going to let that rare moment pass.

But I can tell you the walk to the neighborhood restaurant to just grab some khebab and drinks and enjoy outdoor fresh air was her longest walk ever and the most sluggish and uncomfortable walk of her life. Nothing is ever so priceless as that crazy miniskirt night 😂.

©Mark Gadogbe (McApple), 2017

Marriage & Personal Development Author

Happiness is…

Posted on April 13, 2017 by McApple

Happy Fun Easter Everyone!

Happy Holidays!

Christ is the reason…never forget.

Birthday Musings…🎊

Posted on March 29, 2017 by McApple

Somehow, the night before every birthday of mine as it has been for a long time now, I am unable to get a good night sleep. And it’s been a blessing somehow because right about midnight I begin to pray silently and thank God for my life and ask for divine blessings to last another year or a lifetime. I do a bit of reflection on my life and many times I shed a few “happy tears” when it dawns on me (and it always does), that had it not been God always on my side, ……. Because when I remember the “stories of my birth” as Mum of blessed memory used to say to me, I know I wouldn’t have been alive to be celebrating birthdays.

OK. So I’m “29 on 29”. That means I’m 29 years on 29th of my birth month. Funny as it is, somehow that felt special for me because it will not come again! And although I’m not a fan of birthdays like the way people always “mean” their birthdays such that they can even die should that day never come, I couldn’t help but post this thoughts…especially when I couldn’t even get any sleep. Neither I’m I a fan of revealing my “very young age” but “how for do now”?

But I can’t believe I’m growing yet still not hitting 30! Somehow I’ve a weird perception that once you hit 30, you hit the “Boss Age” phase of your life. Lol. I know it can be funny and I don’t even know where in the world I got that idea from. It’s as weird as the fact that yesterday evening when I got back from work, I was fooling with my wife at every twist and turn with the retort “hey you, have you been 30 before?” to which she will respond “but you kora, are you 30?” 😂 😂

Well, thing is at 30 and upwards, I feel you must start living like a Boss! Beginning from 30, you must begin to feel a deep sense of maturity and responsibility in a way you have never felt before. That’s not to demean or discredit the twenties and teen years. We so love being in the twenties and feeling so young and with so much energy and zest for life and wanting to experience everything. But at 30 and beyond you can’t afford to not feel the sense of urgency and maturity to begin to order your steps aright in much better ways than you did in your twenties or earlier years.

It’s so exciting to watch oneself grow from the little toddlers we were in what seems like just few years ago and becoming very responsible adults with a serious sense of duty and outlook on life.

As we grow, we begin to see life differently, in a whole new dimension and you begin to attach a new meaning to life. You begin to experience more of life and that shapes you better. That’s why no matter how exciting my twenties have been and with so many fond memories, I can’t wait to leave that age bracket. And I have quite a long time to wait; a whole year before I embrace my thirties, my “Boss Age” period.

I have so much to be grateful to God for, so much I have achieved in this young life, so much I am proud of and not regretted.

I’ve seen pain, I’ve seen sorrow; I’ve known hardship, I’ve known want. I’ve fought hard many times to stay strong and silenced the urge to quit in the face of adversity and great loss. I’ve spent myself on others and watched them in silence break my heart and act ungrateful; I’ve watched loved ones turn their back on me. I’ve experienced rejection first hand and from quarters I least expected; I’ve had people make me feel no longer accepted and worthless and I’ve also had people standing by and with me, seeing my mess sometimes and overlooking it. I’ve witnessed a broken and shattered family and God’s transforming power; I’ve seen God work miracles when we give Him the wheels and let things work out on their own. I’ve had a good mother and good home training and have been brought up to embrace and live with every situation, making the best out of every situation and circumstance for life does not always give us what we want, need, deserve or even work for.

But I’ve also seen a lot of good in life to make me want to still live on till my dying years (whenever that is, with no regrets). As I live out the rest of my twenties, I do not know what life holds for me but I do know every experience will define who I am or turn out to be (for good or for bad, only God knows…but I will strive to choose good). And I do know, they that are meant to stay in my life will, and we will enjoy the journey together, in gratitude for all that life has to offer us.

To all the amazing people I have encountered on this journey, I am eternally grateful!
©Mark Gadogbe (McApple), 2017

So young and so in love…

Posted on March 14, 2017 by McApple

Sometimes the older we get, the more complicated love becomes.

Lateness at our weddings

Posted on November 29, 2016 by McApple

I had written this a long time ago but could not publish it because a couple of friends who got married around that time would have said it’s about them. Funny it is, but I have learned one thing in recent times that timing is very important even with publishing of my posts and I still have unpublished posts that are over a year old. So now that at least I know of no close friend whose invite I am honouring soon, I feel at liberty to publish this. Lol.

I thought the day and age where we used to keep people waiting hours at marriage and wedding ceremonies should have been long gone now but sadly it’s still with us. If there was any glamour in it in years past, my dear bride and groom, it’s no longer glamorous. The age we are in now, time is of big essence to throw away waiting for a bride and groom for hours. It adds no value to anybody’s life to have to wait hours for a marriage/wedding ceremony to start. It doesn’t make any bride or groom too any more valuable than they already are. If anything, it rather looks disrespectful of people’s valuable time and for you the bride and groom, it creates a bad image on you especially when you are of the educated or elite class.

Of course we all know sometimes things don’t go as planned and some unexpected stuffs can cause delays but seriously, for hours? Hell no! It’s unacceptable! Of course it’s your day and all your guests have put off important things for your sake just to show their love; but don’t take them for granted! It’s a choice you have to make way before the wedding day.

In this part of our world where marriage is not just between bride and groom but a family affair, it makes it even more important that you accord a little bit of courtesy to important family members most of whom are way older than you that at least you should respect their time. It surely is very annoying when your entire family and important guests gather at the time you yourself has given them and now have to wait for you for hours!

Ok, we in this part of the world are never on time so that’s why if it’s supposed to start at 12pm you let your invite read every 10am? Oh come on! A few minutes late may be pardonable (doesn’t mean it’s encouraged), but not 2 hours late for God’s sake! But that’s what our educated brides and grooms are doing to us.

When I was getting married my wife and I agreed that we are educated and should not embarrass ourselves with excessive lateness. We were glad and even more put on edge when the presiding Pastor also stressed same to us during our last meeting with him a day before the event with the words “you guys are learned so don’t act otherwise and keep everybody waiting”. And he was glad after the ceremony that we did not disappoint him and all the people who had travelled from very far to honour us.

There were circumstances that could have made us late especially my camera man deciding not to show up on time. I remember leaving to the Church without him doing the coverage and sending strict instructions to my wife and the bridal team not to wait for him and that I would be so pissed if we had to go against our “no lateness” resolve because of him. Luckily, he was able to catch up with my wife and the bridal team on their way. So as it were, things didn’t go as planned and he couldn’t cover the dressing and preparations before the wedding as agreed and yet wanted to hold us against our resolve, demanding we wait for him. Annoyingly though he saw nothing wrong with it because according to him it is unusual for weddings to start almost on time and that almost all the weddings he has covered started at least an hour after start time.

It is very unfortunate when at a wedding guests begin to make comments like “If I had known I would have taken my time and not come on time or at least eat before coming” just because by the time your reception starts (going by when programme was supposed to start), your guests would have been dying of hunger just because of that little cocktail or buffet. Of course a start time of 10am for a church wedding does not mean groom must be there exactly 10am because they arrive first (that will be great though) but both groom and bride not arriving so many minutes or hours beyond start time in my opinion is disrespectful of people’s time!

Well, maybe it’s just so ingrained in us that we just can’t help it. Then again I thought we only do that while here at home but no, we do it even when we are living abroad. I almost left a wedding of some friends when I was in the UK had it not being that it started to rain just about the time my patience run out. And the atmosphere in the Church that day and the embarrassing expressions of the Pastor, officiating ministers and the groom who had to wait hours for the bride (yet everybody switching to happy mood the moment bride finally entered as if they were not boiling and complaining moments ago) is one that I can never forget.

Shame on us!

© Mark Gadogbe (McApple)

Marriage & Personal Development Author

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Couple fun

Posted on November 23, 2016 by McApple

Fun is important to every marriage. A marriage/relationship where partners do not have regular fun times is likely to encounter many problems.

Fun is very essential for marriage growth that couples no matter their busy schedules must create time to have fun and laugh together. Fun brings out the best in people and has a connecting effect.

You can’t separate fun from a good marriage or a satisfying marriage

It is said that couples that play together stay together. Reports have it that having fun together can boost the brain chemical called dopamine, which helps fuel sex drive. It is a good way of discovering a partner’s other good sides too.

Plato is reported to have said…