Birthday Musings…🎊 

Somehow, the night before every birthday of mine as it has been for a long time now, I am unable to get a good night sleep. And it’s been a blessing somehow because right about midnight I begin to pray silently and thank God for my life and ask for divine blessings to last another year or a lifetime. I do a bit of reflection on my life and many times I shed a few “happy tears” when it dawns on me (and it always does), that had it not been God always on my side, ……. Because when I remember the “stories of my birth” as Mum of blessed memory used to say to me, I know I wouldn’t have been alive to be celebrating birthdays. 

OK. So I’m “29 on 29”. That means I’m 29 years on 29th of my birth month. Funny as it is, somehow that felt special for me because it will not come again! And although I’m not a fan of birthdays like the way people always “mean” their birthdays such that they can even die should that day never come, I couldn’t help but post this thoughts…especially when I couldn’t even get any sleep. Neither I’m I a fan of revealing my “very young age” but “how for do now”? 

But I can’t believe I’m growing yet still not hitting 30! Somehow I’ve a weird perception that once you hit 30, you hit the “Boss Age” phase of your life. Lol. I know it can be funny and I don’t even know where in the world I got that idea from. It’s as weird as the fact that yesterday evening when I got back from work, I was fooling with my wife at every twist and turn with the retort “hey you, have you been 30 before?” to which she will respond “but you kora, are you 30?” 😂 😂 

Well, thing is at 30 and upwards, I feel you must start living like a Boss! Beginning from 30, you must begin to feel a deep sense of maturity and responsibility in a way you have never felt before. That’s not to demean or discredit the twenties and teen years. We so love being in the twenties and feeling so young and with so much energy and zest for life and wanting to experience everything. But at 30 and beyond you can’t afford to not feel the sense of urgency and maturity to begin to order your steps aright in much better ways than you did in your twenties or earlier years. 

It’s so exciting to watch oneself grow from the little toddlers we were in what seems like just few years ago and becoming very responsible adults with a serious sense of duty and outlook on life.

 As we grow, we begin to see life differently, in a whole new dimension and you begin to attach a new meaning to life. You begin to experience more of life and that shapes you better. That’s why no matter how exciting my twenties have been and with so many fond memories, I can’t wait to leave that age bracket. And I have quite a long time to wait; a whole year before I embrace my thirties, my “Boss Age” period. 

I have so much to be grateful to God for, so much I have achieved in this young life, so much I am proud of and not regretted. 

I’ve seen pain, I’ve seen sorrow; I’ve known hardship, I’ve known want. I’ve fought hard many times to stay strong and silenced the urge to quit in the face of adversity and great loss. I’ve spent myself on others and watched them in silence break my heart and act ungrateful; I’ve watched loved ones turn their back on me. I’ve experienced rejection first hand and from quarters I least expected; I’ve had people make me feel no longer accepted and worthless and I’ve also had people standing by and with me, seeing my mess sometimes and overlooking it. I’ve witnessed a broken and shattered family and God’s transforming power; I’ve seen God work miracles when we give Him the wheels and let things work out on their own. I’ve had a good mother and good home training and have been brought up to embrace and live with every situation, making the best out of every situation and circumstance for life does not always give us what we want, need, deserve or even work for. 

But I’ve also seen a lot of good in life to make me want to still live on till my dying years (whenever that is, with no regrets). As I live out the rest of my twenties, I do not know what life holds for me but I do know every experience will define who I am or turn out to be (for good or for bad, only God knows…but I will strive to choose good). And I do know, they that are meant to stay in my life will, and we will enjoy the journey together, in gratitude for all that life has to offer us. 

To all the amazing people I have encountered on this journey, I am eternally grateful!
©Mark Gadogbe (McApple), 2017

Lateness at our weddings

I had written this a long time ago but could not publish it because a couple of friends who got married around that time would have said it’s about them. Funny it is, but I have learned one thing in recent times that timing is very important even with publishing of my posts and I still have unpublished posts that are over a year old. So now that at least I know of no close friend whose invite I am honouring soon, I feel at liberty to publish this. Lol.

I thought the day and age where we used to keep people waiting hours at marriage and wedding ceremonies should have been long gone now but sadly it’s still with us. If there was any glamour in it in years past, my dear bride and groom, it’s no longer glamorous. The age we are in now, time is of big essence to throw away waiting for a bride and groom for hours. It adds no value to anybody’s life to have to wait hours for a marriage/wedding ceremony to start. It doesn’t make any bride or groom too any more valuable than they already are. If anything, it rather looks disrespectful of people’s valuable time and for you the bride and groom, it creates a bad image on you especially when you are of the educated or elite class.

Of course we all know sometimes things don’t go as planned and some unexpected stuffs can cause delays but seriously, for hours? Hell no! It’s unacceptable! Of course it’s your day and all your guests have put off important things for your sake just to show their love; but don’t take them for granted! It’s a choice you have to make way before the wedding day.

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In this part of our world where marriage is not just between bride and groom but a family affair, it makes it even more important that you accord a little bit of courtesy to important family members most of whom are way older than you that at least you should respect their time. It surely is very annoying when your entire family and important guests gather at the time you yourself has given them and now have to wait for you for hours!

Ok, we in this part of the world are never on time so that’s why if it’s supposed to start at 12pm you let your invite read every 10am? Oh come on! A few minutes late may be pardonable (doesn’t mean it’s encouraged), but not 2 hours late for God’s sake! But that’s what our educated brides and grooms are doing to us.

When I was getting married my wife and I agreed that we are educated and should not embarrass ourselves with excessive lateness. We were glad and even more put on edge when the presiding Pastor also stressed same to us during our last meeting with him a day before the event with the words “you guys are learned so don’t act otherwise and keep everybody waiting”. And he was glad after the ceremony that we did not disappoint him and all the people who had travelled from very far to honour us.

There were circumstances that could have made us late especially my camera man deciding not to show up on time. I remember leaving to the Church without him doing the coverage and sending strict instructions to my wife and the bridal team not to wait for him and that I would be so pissed if we had to go against our “no lateness” resolve because of him. Luckily, he was able to catch up with my wife and the bridal team on their way. So as it were, things didn’t go as planned and he couldn’t cover the dressing and preparations before the wedding as agreed and yet wanted to hold us against our resolve, demanding we wait for him. Annoyingly though he saw nothing wrong with it because according to him it is unusual for weddings to start almost on time and that almost all the weddings he has covered started at least an hour after start time.

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It is very unfortunate when at a wedding guests begin to make comments like “If I had known I would have taken my time and not come on time or at least eat before coming” just because by the time your reception starts (going by when programme was supposed to start), your guests would have been dying of hunger just because of that little cocktail or buffet. Of course a start time of 10am for a church wedding does not mean groom must be there exactly 10am because they arrive first (that will be great though) but both groom and bride not arriving so many minutes or hours beyond start time in my opinion is disrespectful of people’s time!

Well, maybe it’s just so ingrained in us that we just can’t help it. Then again I thought we only do that while here at home but no, we do it even when we are living abroad. I almost left a wedding of some friends when I was in the UK had it not being that it started to rain just about the time my patience run out. And the atmosphere in the Church that day and the embarrassing expressions of the Pastor, officiating ministers and the groom who had to wait hours for the bride (yet everybody switching to happy mood the moment bride finally entered as if they were not boiling and complaining moments ago) is one that I can never forget.

Shame on us!

© Mark Gadogbe (McApple)

Marriage & Personal Development Author

 

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Couple fun

Fun is important to every marriage. A marriage/relationship where partners do not have regular fun times is likely to encounter many problems.

Fun is very essential for marriage growth that couples no matter their busy schedules must create time to have fun and laugh together. Fun brings out the best in people and has a connecting effect.

You can’t separate fun from a good marriage or a satisfying marriage

It is said that couples that play together stay together. Reports have it that having fun together can boost the brain chemical called dopamine, which helps fuel sex drive. It is a good way of discovering a partner’s other good sides too.

Plato is reported to have said…

“You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation”

So go ahead…create some time and have some good memorable fun. You will be better with it than without it.

Cheers!

© Mark Gadogbe (McApple)

Marriage & Personal Development Author

 

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#MarriageGoals #Johannesburg

“It is important for marriages to create lasting fun memories”

Joburg was fun and worth every penny!

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City Tour
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Apartheid Museum
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The face you make when heading to Carlton Centre, tallest office building in Africa
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Gold Reef City
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Nelson Mandela’s house
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Inside Mandela’s House
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Mandela’s Living Room
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2010 World Cup Soccer City Stadium (The Calabash)
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June 16 Memorial Acre
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Memorial Acre
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The famous SOWETO
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To Desmond Tutu’s House
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Orlando Towers, World’s Highest SCAD Freefall
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Orlando Towers Bungee Jump
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Braai Time…Have me some BBQ
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A pose in our lorry tire goalpost…after volley and football session
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Ice cream fight
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Gold Reef City Anaconda Roller Coaster Ride Entrance
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The Anaconda!
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The Anaconda in motion
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A shot before embarking on the Anaconda Ride @ Gold Reef City Theme Park
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The Gold Reef City UFO Ride
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The friendly lion…lol

…And then the face you get in the Tower of Terror! “It sure was too late to cry for your mama”!

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Gold Reef City Tower of Terror Roller Coaster Ride

Mark Gadogbe (McApple)

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