So, the hot, sexy, curvaceous Moesha Buduong is trending in the news again for admitting in an interview with CNN’s Christiane Amanpour to being a Mistress (side chick) to a married man (who has many other Mistresses). And all of a sudden sexuality issues are up for discussion again. But, as for me, all I know is that I don’t want to take sides but in our part of the world, we know we have demonized everything sexual so much that it blinds us to real issues on the subject.
Almost everybody in our part of the world lies about sex (even though they engage in it secretly) and it is always a problem if someone, especially women are openly expressive about sex (or speaking whatever is their own truth). Then, almost immediately, everybody else becomes a saint who has never had sex before and we begin to label the “innocent victim” for speaking out “their truth”.
Again, it’s true that you don’t have to buy in to their truth but it is still their truth…after all, have you experienced the same things they have experienced growing up? Or you don’t even think that there are some people who have become very “sexually immoral” just because of some childhood sexual abuse they suffered? Not saying that’s the case of Moesha and her likes though…but it could be? You say it’s still a personal choice and you’re right too, no doubt, but they are still entitled to their truth because only they know what pushed them to become what they are today. Truth is life has screwed us all in one way or the other and it is possibly only grace that kept some of us from taking certain nasty paths. 😊
It is even more true that we have sexualized women since the days of our ancestors. You may not buy that, but it’s still my truth 😂. We keep lying to ourselves but many a man grew up seeing women as sexual objects (for the most part); to be dominated and to be used at will for their satisfaction.
Trust me, even almost every married Christian man (the revered “men of God” alike) want or sometimes force their wives to behave like “prostitutes” or “porn stars” in the bedroom and give them mind blowing sex. They want them to give them all the crazy, adventurous, fascinating, fetish, etc sexual positions that they see boldly written in the Bible or that God Himself reveals to them (only God knows where they learn all those styles, after acting as if they don’t look at any sexual material 😊).
In today’s world of sexual revolution or liberation, when the same women we have sexualized for ages are embracing 100% their sexuality, flaunting it and using it to “their advantage” (whether the right way or the wrong way), the “outwardly religious but inwardly sinful men” like us are now the ones crying wolf. We start acting like we can’t live any longer with the “seductive monsters” we ourselves have created or helped to create.
Sadly, it appears like any sexual immorality a man engages in with a woman is OK and justified on the part of the men, but not for the women. Welcome to a world where a man and a woman are involved in the same ” sexual sin” but the woman is the one who must at all cost take the fall for it. A man has a million mistresses and that’s cool; but the problem is the mistresses who are so cheap, lazy, gold diggers, immoral, and all the negative labels you can think of but not the man. Seriously?
A rich man’s power or the influence of a man in authority, his ability to coerce a woman to have his way with her is always totally forgotten. No blame at all is given to the men. It is rather always the women who don’t know how to keep their legs closed or their breasts covered, or know how to carry themselves modestly, bla bla bla. This is not to the defense of the ills of any woman; but it’s often just the reality they face.
We forget that it’s about the same power a very sexy and seductive woman has on a man (whether married or not) when she learns well her game and how to play it, just like the rich powerful married men who keep chasing anything in skirt or with a big behind. The seductive woman knows how every man loves sex and how dumb many a man gets when it comes to sex, so she plays it to her advantage. It’s the same way every man knows how women love money and comfort and can easily fall for it, so they use that as bait.
So, we have on our hands a situation where a man uses his riches and power to get any woman he likes (married or not) and society is cool with it and talks less about it. Flip the script and a woman uses her sexuality and seductive prowess to get any man she likes (married or not) that can take good care of her and society is at war with her. She is the devil, not the man. Smh.
If there were no men patronizing people like Moesha, probably she would have stopped? But no, the men are lining up to have a feel of her. Like someone asked, “which man wouldn’t want a body like that? They even wish secretly in their hearts that their wives had a body like that”. 😂 How sad but how true (at least for majority of men).
Well, as for me sitting in my “one corner” somewhere, what do I know? I don’t know who is right or who is wrong; I only know these are the realities in our world. And I can only say here that, probably all the men should brace up for the sexual revolution of our dear women because I don’t see it ending anytime soon! They are really taking matters into their own hands and seem to no longer care where we put the blame or whatever names we label them.
It’s not my fault they claim they are now “liberating” themselves or coming to term with or embracing their sexuality and throwing it in our face. 😂😜
Nonetheless, one thing is also true: life has a way of paying us all back for our individual choices, for whatever a man/woman sows is what they reap.
©Mark Gadogbe (McApple), 2018
(Ps: Just random unguarded thoughts which may be right or wrong, so take it or leave it 😊).