The experience and expectations of LOVE

True love, real love, genuine love….whatever!

Sometimes the problem is that many times the only definition and experience we (Christians) want to have of love is the 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 kind:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

It’s not a bad thing to want to experience this kind of love. Of course that is the ideal thing; that’s the best (Christian) model of love and what everybody desires.

But what we often fail to realize, I think, is that in reality or field of practice, the fact of the matter is that love (and the person loving you) will not always be kind, will not always be patient, will not always trust, will not always hope, etc. Sometimes or many times, love (and the person loving you) actually causes pain, hurts, disappointments, heartbreaks, etc and then we begin to ask if this love is genuine, real, true, the God-kind, etc.

When expectations of love are raised so high, when we get obsessed with experiencing at all cost what’s ideal…we often risk many things and could possibly be living out a “lie” and we could become our own enemies.

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Is it not William Shakespeare who said “expectation is the root of all heartache”? And is it not Pushkaraj Shirke who said “love doesn’t hurt. Expectations do”?

There’s nothing wrong with wanting a love that’s perfect; often it’s just a rare commodity!

unrealistic-expectations

Cheers!

Mark Gadogbe (McApple)

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Image sources:
http://www.motionworkspt.com/content/expectations

How High Expectations Can Ruin Relationships

A million hurts…

“We think that love ends because of some monstrous piece of bad behaviour but, more often, it decays gradually through a million minor hurts”.
~~Andrew G. Marshall

Careful not to pile up a mountain of hurts. Take nothing for granted!

To make or to break is all in our hands.

Cheers!

Mark Gadogbe (McApple)

Image sources:
https://lovehurtsloveheals.wordpress.com

The shoe man

My alarm went off
It was Sunday again.
I was sleepy and tired
My one day to sleep in.
But the guilt I would feel
The rest of the day
Would have been too much
So I’d go and I’d pray.
I showered and shaved
I adjusted my tie.
I got there and sat
In a pew just in time.
Bowing my head in prayer
As I closed my eyes.
I saw the shoe of the man next to me
Touching my own. I sighed.
With plenty of room on either side
I thought, “Why must our soles touch?”
It bothered me, his shoe touching mine
But it didn’t bother him much.
A prayer began: “Our Father”…
I thought, “This man with the shoes
has no pride.
They’re dusty, worn, and scratched
Even worse, there are holes on the side!”
“Thank You for blessings,” the prayer went on.
The shoe man said
a quiet “Amen.”
I tried to focus on the prayer
But my thoughts were on his shoes again.
Aren’t we supposed to look our best
When walking through that door?
“Well, this certainly isn’t it,” I thought,
Glancing toward the floor.
Then the prayer was ended
And the songs of praise began.
The shoe man was certainly loud
Sounding proud as he sang.
His voice lifted the rafters
His hands were raised high.
The Lord could surely hear
The shoe man’s voice from the sky.
It was time for the offering
And what I threw in was steep.
I watched as the shoe man reached
Into his pockets so deep.
I saw what was pulled out
What the shoe man put in.
Then I heard a soft “clink”
as when silver hits tin.
The sermon really bored me
To tears, and that’s no lie
It was the same for the shoe man
For tears fell from his eyes.
At the end of the service
As is the custom here
We must greet new visitors
And show them all good cheer.
But I felt moved somehow
And wanted to meet the shoe man
So after the closing prayer
I reached over and shook his hand.
He was old and his skin was dark
And his hair was truly a mess
But I thanked him for coming
For being our guest.
He said, “My names’ Charlie
I’m glad to meet you, my friend.”
There were tears in his eyes
But he had a large, wide grin
“Let me explain,” he said
Wiping tears from his eyes.
“I’ve been coming here for months
And you’re the first to say ‘Hi.'”
“I know that my appearance
Is not like all the rest
“But I really do try
To always look my best.
“I always clean and polish my shoes
Before my very long walk.
“But by the time I get here
They’re dirty and dusty, like chalk.”
My heart filled with pain
and I swallowed to hide my tears
As he continued to apologize
For daring to sit so near.
He said, “When I get here
I know I must look a sight.
“But I thought if I could touch you
Then maybe our souls might unite.”
I was silent for a moment
Knowing whatever was said
Would pale in comparison
I spoke from my heart, not my head.
“Oh, you’ve touched me,” I said,
“And taught me, in part;
“That the best of any man
Is what is found in his heart.”
The rest, I thought,
This shoe man will never know.
Like just how thankful I really am
That his dirty old shoe touched my soul……

~From the book “Just an Average Joe” by Joe Gonzalez (2005)

 

Found it interesting when I read it years ago. Touched my heart. Hope it touches everyone’s heart.

Cheers!

Mark Gadogbe (McApple)