Time and chance… 

Today we are nobody; tomorrow we will be somebody.

Today people don’t love us for who we are; tomorrow they would wish they had loved us. 

It will be to their regret; to us a joy to know that the best revenge is making people come to know they have made a mistake with us…that we are worth so much more than their price tag.

Time changes! Life is all that matters. Nothing is as valuable as life.

And as long as we have life, we’ll keep hoping; we’ll keep believing; we’ll keep channelling our energies into positive things!

That’s the only way we would be successful. 

We won’t lose our heads over those who want nothing to do with us today; we would channel that energy into something more productive, that adds value to our lives, that makes our lives much better and much happier!

God is such a good God and He’s got us all on good footing! He’s proud of who you are and He’s building you for a glorious future! Focus on Him! 

©Mark Gadogbe (McApple), 2018

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​ON ANGER MANAGEMENT

Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly.” – Proverbs 14:29.
I know we all need this.

Life is never devoid of problems, hurts, misunderstandings and conflict with people…

We’ve all had our own share of those…sometimes you are the cause, other times it is someone else (could be a very dear one).

But when we encounter such moments, how many of us remember the scripture above and the fact that we are unique children of God and need to exercise restraint/ patience…and by doing such be an example unto others????? 

Think well about it…and remember that the next time such moments show up their ugly heads. 

Don’t let your temper get the best of you. 

Be kind, be understanding and do what God would want you to do!

You never know whose life you are impacting

Today I’m saying goodbye to the “twenties”. It’s been so long, so fun, so eventful, and so impactful. I went blank for a moment on what to write today, then I thought…let me thank you all who have been a part of my journey. I believe no life is useless and my young life hasn’t been either. 

Every sperm counts. Don’t waste a life 😂

I believe we have impacted each other with our gifts and talents along the way and that should make the feeling mutual. That is the essence of life anyways: to know that you are making impact with your life in your small little corner on planet earth. Sometimes you may not know it or feel it that you are making some impact, but trust me, we all are. 

What started out as a mere personal interest became more of something I do for fun and leisure, and before I knew it, it started to turn into a calling, a longing, a way of blessing lives no matter how small, etc. 

Ever since I started sharing on relationships, I have had countless testimonies from people, and sometimes what’s more humbling is when people way older and more experienced than you seek your “immature” opinion on things and even tell you they feel inspired by what you do. 

There are people, young and old, who occasionally ask for my advice on certain issues and who are grateful for the help they receive. There are people who read my facebook posts, blog posts and other things that I write and tell me how these made a difference for them. Then there are emails and comments and other things that are usually complimentary but means a lot! 

The most humbling moments I’ve had was the emails I sometimes receive from places I never thought I’ve reached. One of those emails invited me to speak at a Church youth conference in the USA because somehow they thought I lived there. 

It made me realize, no matter how insignificant we are in life, no matter how young and inexperienced, we influence lives everyday…near and far. There are people who just watch us from afar and feel inspired; people that you may never meet in life. Then there are people who have the courage to walk up to you, phone you, message you, etc., and say you are their role model. Then, there are parents who see something good in you and trust their children in your care because somehow they see that you can offer them some guidance, some mentoring, a word of advice, just something positive.

Aww! Love you too Arya

I have had all of that and a lot more, and sometimes it’s terrifying because you see your own inadequacies in not being able to measure up. I see all these and sometimes the future looks a mixed feeling…what if I succeed, what if I fail?  

But what’s important is that everything God does for us, He expects us to give Him glory and let the world know that He is the God that blesses. I see blessings in a lot of things…both tangible and intangible, and I keep saying when you hide His blessings; you hide His glory. 

It’s amazing how many lives we touch everyday when we do not keep our lives bottled up but we share it with others. 

Sometimes I try not to write anything or share anything because of the backlash we keep getting from some people who think the reason we project our marriage or relationship is because we want to show off or boast about having the best of marriage. But truth is we are not even close to that…we’re all a work in progress but must that stop us from sharing our own truths? We don’t even force anybody to accept our truth as their truth…we just share what we know. 

Some people believe in not sharing anything about their life with others for whatever reason and they just want you to be like them. Possibly they feel, too much sharing puts them on the radar of the devil who doesn’t like to see any good thing. But, sometimes you never learn any new thing doing that and you never get to be of help or be a mentor to anyone by doing that. As we share part of our lives with others we impart knowledge, life experiences, and we learn both ways. A word from someone can reorient your life, make you do some re-evaluation and put you back in line with your goals.

So yes, many times I fight myself to not share my writings or thoughts but I keep getting the feeling that the thoughts (some call it experience) you refuse to share may be someone’s life-saver. And how disappointing it will be that you held the key to someone’s solution but didn’t give it. 

I guess it shouldn’t matter what other people of the world think…as long as God knows the motive behind what you do and that it’s ultimately to show forth His glory, He will watch over His word to perform it and there’s nothing the devil and his cohorts can do about it. Though there’s never been any blessing in a man’s life that has never attracted evil…but because God must never fail on His word, he watches over the blessings…as long as we keep playing our part and keeping our relationship with Him.

But at the end of the day, what’s of most importance to me is that when I get home, my wife sees me as the same person others see out there through my writings and the life I project. The nice things people write and say about me will mean nothing to me or to her if she does not see me unselfishly loving her and helping build our own relationship or marriage the way Christ would want it. 

Finally mature 😝

So here’s how I welcome myself to the thirties and I hope I don’t get called “immature” again…even after all I have seen, experienced, and achieved in my twenties. 😂 Thank you all for being a part of my journey and my growth into “maturity”. Or, is the thirties bracket not the ones you people call “mature”? 😂

Cheers to “maturity”!! 😜💪👌

 ©Mark Gadogbe (McApple), 2018

You’re just different…not abnormal! 

Truth is we are all created differently and we will all live vastly different lives. If the life that I live and the choices that I make does not look anything like yours…you don’t have to be too quick to question that. 

God is so wise that He’s given us all different destinies, different callings in life, different ambitions, different passions, different careers, different backgrounds, different life experiences, different everything. In fact, even our physiques are different. 

As long as we are within the will of God, you’ve got to let us alone sometimes and give us some room to breathe! 

But of course, if we’re outside the will of God, you’ve got to correct us and we have to be humble enough to accept correction…at least God will want that for us. 

Alright, so cheers to breaking free from all the labels! You’ve got to…trust me! 😂🙏
©Mark Gadogbe (McApple), 2018

Marriage & Personal Development Author 

Break yourself free from people’s judgement 

This new year, do yourself a big favour and decide to break yourself free from negative energies…one of those is people’s judgement.

It’s never strange to find people (“know it alls”) ​expressing uninvited opinions and passing judgements about your married life and how you should conduct yourself. Forget marriage, it happens in almost every aspect of our daily lives…people telling you what to do and not to do; passing uninvited comments or opinions at any given opportunity. You must be an angel to not have experienced it. 😂

Nonetheless, what I need you to know is that, the weight of other people’s opinions and judgement is a very heavy load. You need to break yourself and your marriage free from it…until freedom comes, you will not know how much weight and burden you carried. That freedom comes in not paying attention to it, turning a deaf ear or what I usually say “multiply them by zero” 😂

There’s just this one simple truth in life: whatever you do, people will judge as right or wrong. And before you finish seeking people’s validation, you will die from mental exhaustion. 

So, just be yourself and do you! You’re the only best judge of your choices and actions. BE YOU…not them. We’re all on separate journeys and separate assignments or life purpose. 

©Mark Gadogbe (McApple), 2017

Every woman… 

Every woman has a longing. 

An innate desire of usefulness to a man because from man she came

But whether her value will go beyond the bedroom 

Beyond just being a man’s object of sexual gratification 

All depends on how she sees and carries herself 

The value she places on herself and sells out to the man she’s with

Will ultimately decide how her man will see her

Men always know the difference 

They know who makes it only to the bedroom as a “sin partner”

And who makes it to being a wife and a destiny partner

When all you bring to the table is your body and chopping of a man’s money

You’ve already decided where you will end

You hold the power to determine your usefulness.
©Mark Gadogbe (McApple), 2017

Marriage & Personal Development Author 

Everybody is loveable 

God has made everybody loveable. You don’t have to agree with it; that’s just what I think. 

But if that is true, then no matter what, you should be able to find someone you can love and marry…unless you’re being too picky/choosy or keep having unnecessarily high expectations. Or maybe your problem is that you want somebody who’s exactly like yourself (which you can never find).

Problem of choice

Things will be too easy in marriage if you find somebody exactly like yourself. God made marriage a training ground so that two individuals (opposites) can learn to better themselves, sharpening each other just as iron sharpeneth iron (Proverbs 27:17).

If you’re really serious, you should find someone…unless you want to sit for God to just drop an “already made” person on your lap or in your bed so you can just get on with it 😂. You are waiting for “your match made in heaven“, the exact person whose rib you’ve been created from or who is the product of your rib?

You may wait for eternity…or maybe I should ask, how will you even know or recognize your missing rib? Be there and keep searching for your missing rib or waiting arms folded for your Prince Charming…literally. Me “sef” do I know if my adorable wife has my missing rib? 😂 I’m not interested in any missing rib thing even if there is a 1:1 male to female ratio in my country or even the world. I know physically and spiritually, I will weary myself trying to dissect all the women in the world just to know and be sure she’s made of my rib. Every woman is a potential “missing rib” so drop all those long wish lists and just take one 😝.

The thing I like about men is that they will easily admit that Charley, I know I’ve lost a lot of time on getting a partner and I seriously need a partner because I’m not happy being still single at this age. But for today’s independent women, no way…their rhetoric is that they are happy being single and independent. 

Well woman, keep telling yourself you are happy being single and you don’t need a man to make you happy or satisfy you because you can pleasure yourself down there. Of course nobody is dumb enough to expect you to cry in public for want of a man…but we know you “cry” when alone at night, bother God with a million prayer petitions and probably drink yourself to stupor over the thought of being single at 30, 40, 50??  What you should know about that false confidence is that you can’t tell everyone (the public) you don’t need a man and then have men come throwing themselves at you? You don’t need us, we not coming. 😂

Society is full of people and counting back to all the years since you started having feelings for the opposite sex, chances are that you have met a lot of people who could have been your “potential spouse”. You can’t say you can’t find a wife/husband. Where have you been looking all these years? Chances are you’ve been wasting too much time on people who don’t know what they want with you. 

I know you will say I don’t understand the journey you’ve traveled, so I’m sorry I hurt your feelings. Let me leave it here before I hurt you further 😊. Best of luck then. 

(PS: Don’t take this post too serious or as a judgemental piece. Nonetheless, we’ll love to hear your thoughts 😉).

©Mark Gadogbe (McApple), 2017

Life’s not a competition 

We are not in competition with anyone. 

The race of life is self run. God has a lane for everyone. Those who know their life purpose stay in their lane. 

Those who have grace don’t do things to prove a point to anybody. Any man or woman that lacks grace is impatient to succeed. 

When it’s your time, every door will open for you and nothing can stop your destiny

#LifeIsFreedom

Abuse of the marriage covenant

Here’s a great marriage vow:

“I will be with you, no matter what happens to us and between us.  If you should become blind tomorrow, I will be there.  If you achieve no success and attain no status in our society, I will be there.  When we argue and are angry, as we inevitably will, I will work to bring us together.  When we seem totally at odds and neither of us is having needs fulfilled, I will persist in trying to understand and in trying to restore our relationship.  When our marriage seems utterly sterile and going nowhere at all, I will believe that it can work and I will want it to work and I will do my part to make it work.  And when all is wonderful and we are happy, I will rejoice over our life together, and continue to strive to keep our relationship growing and strong.” ~~ Elizabeth Achtemeier

I don’t know how different it is from the usual “for better for worse, till death do us part” Church vow. But when we say the marriage vow in Church, we are literally saying our spouses are supposed to love us “no matter what” and always find us beautiful or handsome, no questions asked. Of course, that’s the essence of the marriage vow.

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But sometimes we take advantage of that binding agreement and just let ourselves go intentionally in so many ways. We go like, oh how great it feels that we’ve just signed a contract that binds the other person to us for their whole life and nothing, except sexual infidelity, can save their skin! Sweet! Now I can relax, for every bad action or inaction of mine as long as it is not infidelity, should technically be coped with, endured and at best forgiven. Per the vow or covenant we’ve just entered into, everything is allowed as long as it does not border on infidelity…Hurray!

I vowed to love you “no matter what” so now you are at liberty to take your looks for granted! You can now just let yourself eat all the junk foods ever made, grow fat and out of shape. Oh, he should just understand that I’m now a mother and childbirth, raising children, taking care of him and all that just makes many a woman get out of shape. She should just understand that the ever-increasing responsibilities, stressful nature of my job, late night eating and all that just makes many a man develop a pot belly. Just understand and accept it as it is…so I wouldn’t have to put in any effort.

The deed is done, you have now taken the “no matter what” vow, so you can now stop giving much attention to your physique and every other thing as you used to and just corner your partner with the “no matter what” attitude whenever he/she raises a concern. Just remind him/her of the “no matter what” vow they took so they can stop whining about things you feel you cannot change. You think that’s a really safe zone? How sweet!

eat

Well, these and many others are the sentiments/frustrations shared by many. Problem is too many people treat marriage as a place of arrival, acceptance and comfort; a kind of destination that they arrive at and then everything else in terms of effort stops. People don’t put as much effort into bettering themselves in marriage like they did in the dating phase. After all, if it’s Christian, it never should be broken on any other grounds, right? And then upon that, if you are a man, you are allowed to force your wife into subjection no matter all the ills you do, right? How sad. That’s how God wants it?

“It is so easy to take a spouse for granted, and to take intimacy for license. We can subconsciously think since we’re married, I don’t have to be careful to be polite. We have to love each other regardless, so I can just speak without thinking about how it is perceived” ~~ Shaunti Feldhahn

Right after marriage, many people begin to take so many things for granted. The problem is not the reality that the “no matter what” covenant marriage puts us in. The problem is to be a Christian yet hide consciously or unconsciously behind that and not put in any effort to better anything. I think that is a way of dishonoring your partner and your marriage and making God look stupid for instituting marriage and giving ground rules. Nothing must be taken for granted in marriage. Marriage (and all that comes with it) should not put an end to personal development. We must not pick up a habit of putting our spouses through the “no matter what” test, especially when it is something we can make the effort to change for the betterment of the union.

effort

The caution is that sometimes it becomes too late to salvage anything and we must not let ourselves get to that point. And I hope it is the Bible that said:

“Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin”
~~ James 4:17

 

© Mark Gadogbe (McApple), 2017

Marriage & Personal Development Author

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Image source: www.federalna.ba

God, Sex and Marriage

I subscribe to marriage devotionals always. That’s because I always do not like a day to end without reading something on marriage…just anything, as long as it’s related to marriage. I find Christian devotionals on marriage the best choice. 

This is what I’m currently subscribed to; and today’s reading was quite interesting that I felt I should share. 

So here it goes:

Title: God Has An Opinion About Sex

Everyone has an opinion about sex. But did you know that God also has an opinion… a definite, distinct perspective? Unfortunately, many Christians have confused the voice of Christian leaders for the opinion of God. When it comes to sex, Christian leaders throughout the ages have had differing opinions on the topic. Here’s a brief sample…

Nothing is so much to be shunned as sexual relations. ~~St. Augustine.

The Holy Spirit leaves the room when a married couple has sex, even if they do it without passion. ~~Peter Lombard, respected 12th century theologian.

Intercourse is never without sin. ~~Martin Luther.

If anyone says that sex itself is bad, Christianity contradicts him at once. ~~C.S. Lewis.

A married couple gives a severe blow to the head of that ancient serpent when they aim to give as much sexual satisfaction to each other as possible. ~~John Piper.

No wonder Christians are confused. Who speaks for God? 

Ultimately, God speaks for Himself through His inspired Word. If you want to know God’s opinion, look no further than the Bible. It may surprise you that the Bible has quite a bit to say on the topic. Some of it you’ll love and some of it is difficult to accept. 

When a person like you or me has an opinion, it’s just that – an opinion. When God has an opinion, we call it something else – the truth. Truth is the one opinion against which every other opinion is measured. 

We all have thoughts and beliefs about sex that are not based on truth. Perhaps your misinformation about sex even came from Christian sources. However, if you truly want to see the gift of sexuality as it was created to be experienced, you must be willing to expose the lies you’ve believed as measured by the truth of God’s Word. 

Questions to Ponder: What are the primary sources that formed your opinion on sex? Can you identify any lies you believe about sex?

The End

(PS: Hope you found it interesting too? Let me know what you think. Share your thoughts with us)  
© Mark Gadogbe (McApple), 2017

Marriage & Personal Development Author