Quit the blame game

There is an expiry date on blaming your parents for steering you in the wrong direction.

The moment you are old enough to take the wheel, responsibility lies with you and you can’t afford to keep blaming people forever!!

The day you realize that you are in charge of how you approach problems in your life, and that things will turn out better or worse because of YOU and nobody else, only from then on that you would be a happier and healthier person and truly build a life that matters.

I beseech you…PLEASE QUIT THE BLAME GAME NOW AND MAKE THE BEST OUT OF YOUR TODAY!

Positive declarations and prayer

Today, I feel led to speak LIFE over you:
I command every dead thing in your life to come back to life.
May your business, finances, marriage, relationship, education, etc witness a glorious facelift.
I declare that your joy is returning and out of your belly shall flow springs of living waters.
I see God writing your story anew and I see the windows of heaven open over you.
You shall not die before your time but you shall live to be celebrated.
I silence every voice of accusation against you.
You are delivered from the grave!
The hand of the devil is lifted off your business, marriage, family, children, etc!
From today onwards, your destiny is secured and God’s pillar of fire is separating your camp and that of your enemies.
No evil shall befall you and no plague shall come near your dwelling.
You are blessed, an oak of righteousness, a planting of the Lord.
Many shall come to enjoy your fruits, to drink of your waters.
You are victorious in life and nothing can change that;
For He that has promised is faithful and He shall perform it!!!
Amen and Amen!!

It’s a prayer to be claimed…so if you believe it, shout a big AMEN to receive it.

©Mark Gadogbe (McApple)

Death is a reality nobody wants to face

We plan everything in life except our death. Death is so scary that many of us don’t want to even say the word, let alone think about it and plan for it. Have you ever asked yourself “what if I die now; what if I don’t get to grow so old before I die?”

We see people die everyday yet we can never imagine it being us. We either feel we are better than those who have died or perhaps being Christians means we can never die. The best we do is to cast out every spirit of death or if you like, untimely death…but beyond that, we just live until we can live no more.

Many of us plan our wedding and marriages even when we don’t even have a partner or the slightest idea who we’re marrying or when we’re getting married. Everything about our lives is planned except death. We don’t even for once ask ourselves what happens if we should die now. What will happen to the children or family we leave behind?

But the truth is that, 50 years from now, many of us will die. That’s a fact. And that 50 years will come so quick we will wonder what we’ve done with it.

Today we are here…tomorrow we are gone! The “beauty” of life is that it can snap out of us or our loved ones anytime. Yeah, it’s a beauty. Lol
But we will be glad we have lived; long or short. We will be glad we have walked this earth and we will smile from Heaven as the memories of our “fun” time here plays before us. And we shall be reminded that death is part of life. We can’t have one and leave the other.

We can only put our house (borrowed life) in order whilst we live. And whether to Heaven or Hell we go; we pray we make Heaven. 🙏😊

©Mark Gadogbe (McApple), 2019

MARRIAGE IS FOR MEN, NOT BOYS. IT’S NO MONKEY BUSINESS

When it comes to marriage, the difference between a man and a boy is not about age but maturity of the mind, emotions, intellect, actions, etc. Maturity does matter; but not necessarily in terms of age. As John Grier is believed to have said, “You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime”. See the difference?

A marriage between a 20 year old man and a 19 year old woman will be a rare occurrence in many parts of the world, where it appears the very first and sometimes most important determinant of the success of a marriage is the physical age of the people involved. In many such cultures and places the “a young man married is a man that’s marred” Shakespearean ideology rules.

Surprisingly though, the legal adult and marriageable age of 18 or lower is recognized for almost all purposes in this same places. It is well known that about 82% of the world’s countries and 67% of countries in Africa prescribe 18 years as the marriageable age. So what is the problem? Why hold strongly that marriage between 20 year olds will not succeed then?

Irrespective of all the benefits of marrying “young”, I always maintain that marriage is huge; very huge! Anybody entering that institution must thus “study to show himself approved” and anyone irrespective of the age (18 and above) who has done his or her homework well and has prepared adequately for it must be permitted to go in without raising of eyebrows simply because they are “young”. As the age old adage goes, “a child who learns to wash his hands well can eat with the elders”. Similarly, anybody no matter the age, who learns well the rudiments of marriage, can succeed in the institution. Or can we easily say as a fact that it is only at a particular age that people will be fully prepared for marriage and to succeed thereof?

Nonetheless, for a man, I think he should also make sure that aside every other thing, he is financially sound to run his family and if he can at 20, then glory hallelujah! And for a woman, if at the age of 19 she is well informed about marriage, motherhood and all wifely roles and is ready for it, glory hallelujah!

By 20 years however, most men and women in Africa and some parts of the world by the nature or structure of their educational and support systems would still be in school anyways. Funny enough, most will still be in high school anyways…and why think about marriage, sex, starting a family and all that when you are in school, probably still under your parents care and most definitely without any job anyways?

men-not-boys

“Marriage is no child’s play” does not mean a man/woman should be above 30/40 before marrying. There are no rules. It just means marriage is no monkey business; it’s not a frivolous venture, but is serious in content, attitude and behavior (and the list goes on). It’s a maturity issue and we do know that in many cases maturity is not commensurate with age. Proof is that we’ve seen so many old folks behaving so immature!

I do believe in marrying “young” but not rushing into marriage when one is not well prepared mentally, emotionally, financially, spiritually…and all the “llys” one can think of.

Marriage is an exciting journey…so good luck to everyone considering it, irrespective of age. Just know it’s no monkey business.

Cheers!

 

© Mark Gadogbe (McApple)

Marriage & Personal Development Author

 

 

The right attire for Church (God’s presence)

On Sundays, we put a lot of effort into dressing to look our best for God and sometimes it appears the way we dress is what actually makes us accepted by God in His presence. Many have equated not dressing one’s best when going into God’s presence to having total disrespect for God because one wouldn’t dress just anyhow to meet a renowned worldly personality, how much more God. Most churches even put more emphasis on our looks before God on Sunday mornings than how receptive our hearts should be for God’s word coming into Church. Perhaps a clean look equals a clean heart for God.

There are rules for dressing in some churches

Here’s a little story I once read years ago (can’t remember the source) and that changed my perspective on what exactly the right attire (or attitude) should be for Church:

One Sunday morning an old cowboy entered a church just before services were to begin. Although the old man and his clothes were spotlessly clean, he wore jeans, a denim shirt and boots that were very worn and ragged. In his hand he carried a worn out old hat and an equally worn out Bible. The church he entered was in a very upscale and exclusive part of the city. It was the largest and most beautiful church the old cowboy had ever seen. The people of the congregation were all dressed with expensive clothes and accessories.

As the cowboy took a seat, the others moved away from him. No one greeted, spoke to, or welcomed him. They were all appalled at his appearance and did not attempt to hide it. As the old cowboy was leaving the church, the preacher approached him and asked the cowboy to do him a favor. “Before you come back in here again, have a talk with God and ask him what he thinks would be appropriate attire for worship.” The old cowboy assured the preacher he would.

The next Sunday, he showed back up for the service wearing the same ragged jeans, shirt, boots, and hat. Once again, he was completely shunned and ignored. The preacher approached the man and said, “I thought I asked you to speak to God before you came back to our church.” “I did,” replied the old cowboy. “If you spoke to God, what did he tell you the proper attire should be for worshiping in here?” asked the preacher.

“Well, sir, God told me that He didn’t have a clue what I should wear. He said He’d never been in here before.”

Well, I don’t know what you make of this story but it sure “touched my life” and perspective forever. Hope it does same for you. Do share your thoughts with us.

(PS: This may be a very sensitive topic for some. I do hope readers don’t take things out of context. The goal is not to condemn or approve of church rules on dressing).

©Mark Gadogbe (McApple), 2019

Believe in the concept of YOU

We’re all immeasurably awesome…just the way we are. Believe in yourself. Believe in the concept of you; not the concept of others.

People will always want to force their concepts on you, telling you at every turn the “acceptable way” of living your own life. They have made themselves “experts” in people’s personal lives and personal choices.
What they don’t like, they want you not to like. What they are not comfortable doing they want you to accept as the normal or acceptable way of doing things.

But always be reminded God never asked their permission before bringing you to this world; and their permission or validation is not needed for anything you do. It’s God’s validation that matters at the end of the day. So, stick to God and keep doing you…as long as you’re comfortable with YOU.

©Mark Gadogbe (McApple), 2019

Sharing about our lives

Some people believe in not sharing anything about their life with others. Well, sometimes you never learn any new thing doing that and you never get to be of help or be a mentor to anyone by doing that.

As we share part of our lives with others, we impart knowledge, life experiences, and we learn both ways. A word from someone can reorient your life, make you do some re-evaluation and put you back in line with your goals.

But that does not also mean you should welcome or entertain every voice, else you get confused because people always have something they want to say and are just looking for who to say it to. You need to know what you want and work with that.

©Mark Gadogbe (McApple), 2019

On secular leadership…

How do I know or find a good leader?

Good leaders are hard to find! They are also hard to gather into a team and they are also hard to keep cos they are always thinking what to do next and where to go next and where to make the next big impact. They don’t have time to listen to everybody and every opinion.

Non-leaders are everywhere; they are all over the place making noise! You can always find those and even if they don’t understand your dream/vision, they will keep making noise about it as if they know.

Don’t worry, in your personal space, you have a lot of non-leaders as friends…especially those friends who will never stay put but want to hang around you always…who can never spend time with themselves with the excuse of always being lonely or feeling bored…those friends who can never tell you to your face that even though we love you, we will criticize you when you are clearly in the wrong. Those are just some of the traits.

Never make them leaders of that company you want to build because what will make that company stand is not people with unwavering or religious allegiance to your “personality” but people who can be very objective and sincere to you no matter the odds. You don’t need people who will sing your praises every time…that’s very dangerous.

Of most priority to me, and what I have realized in recent days is to never make a person (be it friend or family) who cannot draw the line between Christian Leadership and Secular Leadership as a leader of the company I want to build. Such people always muddy the waters every morning, noon and night with religion…what doesn’t concern religion too will be “married” with religion. Even in the business world, anybody whose views differ from their entrenched religiosity will be tagged “son of the devil”. That’s just the reality in our part of the world that stifles development.

©Mark Gadogbe (McApple), 2018

MAKE THE DEVIL TAKE HIS BAGS

When you get out of a bad relationship because it was bad but you are still resentful, and angry….you let the devil leave his bags!!

When you say “I forgive you” but you can’t seem to let it go and have peace with that person…you let the devil leave his bags!!

When you break off your relationship with that hurtful and abusive person but you are still suspicious and distrusting of every new person you meet…you let the devil leave his bags!!

When you decide to let go of the past hurts from growing up in an unstable family environment, yet you still believe you are unworthy of love from others and so refuse to get attached to anyone…you let the devil leave his bags!!

So the next time you put the devil out, MAKE SURE HE TAKES HIS BAGS TOO!!!!!

Dear God…

Dear God,
Today you blessed me with just little when I was expecting much.
And because I had hoped and trusted You for a fat blessing,
I complained more than I should have thanked you.
I complained because I compared my blessings with that of others.
And I couldn’t understand why you blessed them more than I.
And I couldn’t stop asking the usual “why, why” questions,
And making little jokes out of the situation just to make me feel good.
Now I realized I have behaved childishly.
So teach me as I onward bound…
To accept even the least of your blessings with the greatest of gratitude!!
Sorry Lord…and thank you!
For always being THE BEST!!!