Sexual revolution and exploits of women in our present day

So, the hot, sexy, curvaceous Moesha Buduong is trending in the news again for admitting in an interview with CNN’s Christiane Amanpour to being a Mistress (side chick) to a married man (who has many other Mistresses). And all of a sudden sexuality issues are up for discussion again. But, as for me, all I know is that I don’t want to take sides but in our part of the world, we know we have demonized everything sexual so much that it blinds us to real issues on the subject. 

Moesha Buduong in her elements 😊

Almost everybody in our part of the world lies about sex (even though they engage in it secretly) and it is always a problem if someone, especially women are openly expressive about sex (or speaking whatever is their own truth). Then, almost immediately, everybody else becomes a saint who has never had sex before and we begin to label the “innocent victim” for speaking out “their truth”. 

Again, it’s true that you don’t have to buy in to their truth but it is still their truth…after all, have you experienced the same things they have experienced growing up? Or you don’t even think that there are some people who have become very “sexually immoral” just because of some childhood sexual abuse they suffered? Not saying that’s the case of Moesha and her likes though…but it could be? You say it’s still a personal choice and you’re right too, no doubt, but they are still entitled to their truth because only they know what pushed them to become what they are today. Truth is life has screwed us all in one way or the other and it is possibly only grace that kept some of us from taking certain nasty paths. 😊 

It is even more true that we have sexualized women since the days of our ancestors. You may not buy that, but it’s still my truth 😂. We keep lying to ourselves but many a man grew up seeing women as sexual objects (for the most part); to be dominated and to be used at will for their satisfaction. 

Trust me, even almost every married Christian man (the revered “men of God” alike) want or sometimes force their wives to behave like “prostitutes” or “porn stars” in the bedroom and give them mind blowing sex. They want them to give them all the crazy, adventurous, fascinating, fetish, etc sexual positions that they see boldly written in the Bible or that God Himself reveals to them (only God knows where they learn all those styles, after acting as if they don’t look at any sexual material 😊). 

The “Sugar Daddy” or “Sponsor” lifestyle is simply a real issue in society and Moesha is simply admitting to it

In today’s world of sexual revolution or liberation, when the same women we have sexualized for ages are embracing 100% their sexuality, flaunting it and using it to “their advantage” (whether the right way or the wrong way), the “outwardly religious but inwardly sinful men” like us are now the ones crying wolf. We start acting like we can’t live any longer with the “seductive monsters” we ourselves have created or helped to create. 

Sadly, it appears like any sexual immorality a man engages in with a woman is OK and justified on the part of the men, but not for the women. Welcome to a world where a man and a woman are involved in the same ” sexual sin” but the woman is the one who must at all cost take the fall for it. A man has a million mistresses and that’s cool; but the problem is the mistresses who are so cheap, lazy, gold diggers, immoral, and all the negative labels you can think of but not the man. Seriously? 

A rich man’s power or the influence of a man in authority, his ability to coerce a woman to have his way with her is always totally forgotten. No blame at all is given to the men. It is rather always the women who don’t know how to keep their legs closed or their breasts covered, or know how to carry themselves modestly, bla bla bla. This is not to the defense of the ills of any woman; but it’s often just the reality they face. 

We forget that it’s about the same power a very sexy and seductive woman has on a man (whether married or not) when she learns well her game and how to play it, just like the rich powerful married men who keep chasing anything in skirt or with a big behind. The seductive woman knows how every man loves sex and how dumb many a man gets when it comes to sex, so she plays it to her advantage. It’s the same way every man knows how women love money and comfort and can easily fall for it, so they use that as bait. 

So, we have on our hands a situation where a man uses his riches and power to get any woman he likes (married or not) and society is cool with it and talks less about it. Flip the script and a woman uses her sexuality and seductive prowess to get any man she likes (married or not) that can take good care of her and society is at war with her. She is the devil, not the man. Smh.

If there were no men patronizing people like Moesha, probably she would have stopped? But no, the men are lining up to have a feel of her. Like someone asked, “which man wouldn’t want a body like that? They even wish secretly in their hearts that their wives had a body like that”. 😂 How sad but how true (at least for majority of men). 

Well, as for me sitting in my “one corner” somewhere, what do I know? I don’t know who is right or who is wrong; I only know these are the realities in our world. And I can only say here that, probably all the men should brace up for the sexual revolution of our dear women because I don’t see it ending anytime soon! They are really taking matters into their own hands and seem to no longer care where we put the blame or whatever names we label them. 

It’s not my fault they claim they are now “liberating” themselves or coming to term with or embracing their sexuality and throwing it in our face. 😂😜

Nonetheless, one thing is also true: life has a way of paying us all back for our individual choices, for whatever a man/woman sows is what they reap

©Mark Gadogbe (McApple), 2018

(Ps: Just random unguarded thoughts which may be right or wrong, so take it or leave it 😊).

UNFAITHFUL

You came squirming in blood

But I did not let you die

I provided wisdom to cut your umbilical cords

To wash and wrap you in cloth

Your glaring nakedness to shield

Loving, caring hands of a mother

I provided them all

Strong and tall I made you grow like a healthy plant

A young woman you became

Breasts well formed into two tall twin towers

Hips well shaped like the finest arts of Michelangelo

Skin shining as one rubbed in the finest olive oil

In clothes of embroidered silk and linen I dressed you

Jewels and ornaments of gold and silver put I on you

Shoes of the finest leather and the choicest of meals

Your beauty became dazzling and captivating like that of a queen

Beauty met admiration and fame and then begat pride

Then in your adult glory and reign

You forgot the one who made you so lovely

You never for once remembered your childhood

How I treated you when you were young

But like they of easy virtue you took to revealing

The breathtaking beauty of the breasts I brilliantly molded

The very “behinds” I built in bravura

The thighs I tediously tended

The stomachs I skillfully shaped

And the coats I provided for your nakedness

You fashionably converted into little aprons

That every eye may see and toy with

The hidden and sacred treasures I placed

At specific “body geographical locations”

With specified bearings and vectors

Longitudes and latitudes

Coordinates and cardinal points

And passwords, serial numbers and codes exclusive to you

But as many as admired, to them you gave the right of free access

To break into thy security system and steal thy jewels

Even in the non-admirers you created unforeseen pressures

Enticing their unstable souls

How bad enough that you have become unfaithful to me

And the life purpose for which I created every part of you

 

© Mark Gadogbe

Marriage & Personal Development Author

 

 

IS THY LOVE JUST A FEELING OR A CHOICE?

Many see love as merely a feeling; others as merely a choice.

Love merely as a FEELING can best be described as having no patience to wait; it must be satisfied with its objects instantly. It is more sensual and selfish and wrapped up in immediacy.

Love as a CHOICE rises above feelings and the present to the unseen and the future. Though seemingly above feelings, it is not necessarily opposed to it; it works through it and makes it subordinate to its influence and end. It is more sacrificial and works “in spite of”.

On the grounds of EASE and INDULGENCE and PRESENT INTEREST, love as a feeling takes upper hand over love as a choice; but it is however ephemeral or short-lived. Also when reason cannot comprehend and see things God’s way, it is love as merely a feeling that triumphs or rules.

However, when the soul or heart is fully convinced of the FAILURE and INSUFFICIENCY of mere sensuality in satisfying its requirements for the future rewards it seeks in a lasting relationship, love as merely a feeling fails.

Love as a CHOICE is a power that thrives in light but also has confidence in the dark. It works with all the evidences the case in hand (relationship) produces and tries to live in harmony with all circumstances, changing those it can and coping with those it cannot.

Feelings of the heart most often precede the choices it makes because the human heart is open and awaken to seeing and feeling things as they are before choices are made. However, love as a choice demonstrates its superiority in circumstances that baffle the sensuous reasoning of love as a feeling.

In spite of the above expositions however, the UNITY of the two phases (love as a feeling and as a choice) is essential in making all relationships strong and happy. When they are DIVIDED (operating separately), the happiness of a relationship is marred; and its strength of heart and character is sheared.

Rightly put, what you feel for someone is only about you but it is the things you chose to do for the one you love as a result of what you feel that counts.

Mark Gadogbe

First published on courageahiati.wordpress.com on November 3, 2014 as Guest Blogger.