The soul mate race…

No matter how many times you fail in life or in a competition the rules will never change for you…it remains the same. Same applies to relationships and the race to winning a soul mate and life companion. It wouldn’t matter how many heartbreaks or disappointments you experienced in your search, the rules and people will not change for you…you still got to try over and over again. The work lies with you, not with them. You can sit and lament all you want, blame a million people if you like…but that will not change your status. If you still want it, then you got to go for it again and again…the Philippians 3:13 style (forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead).

 

©Mark Gadogbe (McApple), 2017

Marriage & Personal Development Author

 

Pray 

​I came to believe in prayer…

Not because a pastor told me…

But because I grew up seeing my mama many times on her knees…

And I remember the many times when her bed was my hospital…

I needed no other evidence…just to know there is power in prayer!!

Thank You Mama!!

I thought of you today…you are dearly missed. 

Distance marriage fears

One night I had an attack; one I cannot expand on. It amplified one of the greatest fears I have with distance relationship/marriage…the fear of something terrible happening in the loneliness of the night and there’s no one to cry out to for help. Those midnight emergency situations where your health or strength fails and someone close by like your spouse is your only guarantee of life saving help.

In distance marriages, one of a couple’s greatest prayers is centered on asking for doses of God’s protection and being kept entirely in good health so no emergency situations materialize. Such emergency situations that will require you being there asap but geographical distance won’t allow it are very dreadful and praying against them tops a long distance couple’s prayer list.

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What if something happens to your partner out there and you are needed immediately but can never show up in time (actually days) because you now have to be at the mercy of some embassy visa processes since you don’t have a diplomatic passport to just get up and go? Not forgetting that “flight tickets cost an arm and a leg” anyways. All those situations that a call or text is not enough to offer comfort are very dreadful.

…And far from the fears, need I say a lot of funny jealousies build up sometimes too? Lol

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Well…God is good all the time and He keeps having our backs! Forever our refuge in times of trouble, right?

 

© Mark Gadogbe (McApple)

Marriage & Personal Development Author

Unethical Prophets and “Men of God”

There’s so much ethical crisis in the Church (leadership) today, from mishandling and dishonesty with church finances to living extravagant lifestyles at expense of poor church members’ offerings, proud, arrogant and immoral lifestyles, showing no concern for views and trials of church members, increasing interest in cheap fame/popularity and misusing God’s anointing, among others.

When it comes to spiritual things or callings, some people believe they are a law unto themselves and don’t need being regulated. They decide what they want to do as long as they can hide behind the idea that it is a spiritual direction from God…or wherever they get their direction from. They give no regards to normal ethics even in its simplest forms. It appears lately there are no ethics to spiritual callings and the “office of Prophets” especially appears the most unethical. We see too many unethical Prophets and “men of God” these days that an increasing number of people no longer appreciate prophecy or believe in it. And many times one will wonder if they ever learn or are taught anything like ministerial ethics.

What I personally don’t fathom sometimes is how we often see in our churches many unethical Prophets and “men of God” who put people’s personal issues out to the congregation during “deliverance services” claiming they have received one revelation or the other from God about the person. I’ve got no problems with deliverance services or revelations, but I do feel sometimes that the fact that God reveals something to you during your ministration about somebody’s situation shouldn’t give you the right or permission to put it out there just like that without even weighing in on the impact that could yield later. If the revelation is about the person, I believe there is a good way to tell the person without screaming in the microphone about it to the entire congregation!

There are a lot of very sensitive issues that come out mostly in churches and in the aftermath of the “revelations”, peoples’ lives are left worse off…mostly because of the victimization and ill attitude they encounter later from church folks.

I’m tempted to believe in Bible days when God gives his Prophets a revelation about or a message for somebody, the message is for the person’s hearing alone, whether it is a good or bad message? The fact that it is a congregational service doesn’t mean when you call someone forward and a message comes to you about the person you blurt it out there in the microphone, whether it be a good or bad message?

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People are told “I see you getting married before the year ends” to resounding cheers and then the year ends and nothing happens and church folks begin to jeer, gossip and do all sort of things. And many times the Prophets are “always right” to many Christians so when the things they declare on people don’t see the light of day, then they blame is on the person who apparently must have gone to commit some sin or not prayed on the prophecy or not acted in ways to bring the prophecy into being so they suffer for it in the sight of other members.

People are told “I see God calling you to be this and that” and some people just forcefully align their destinies with what the Prophet has said and of course the expectations of Church folks to function as such and so end up struggling to function in callings that as it may God himself has not destined for them. Then there are others who after fasting and praying themselves on the Prophet’s “authentic declaration” and being convinced the calling is not for them and so make no effort to “become what the Prophet said” are looked at some way by Church folks; the courageous ones questioning them why they have “refused” to become what Prophet said they will become.

I remember a true story a friend of mine shared with me. She narrated how her church once hosted a Prophet who during his ministration called forward a lady chorister and told the whole congregation “what God has revealed to him” about the lady. And his revelation was that the said lady is a fornicator and has an unholy relationship with her boyfriend who promised marrying her but has been abusing her yet for the love she has for him she is still with him. According to her the whole church was thrown into a state of murmurings, including her fellow choristers; and the lady couldn’t bear the public shame that God apparently was putting her through and broke down crying. According to my friend she herself felt so embarrassed and couldn’t imagine being in the lady’s shoes and all that might be going through her mind. Apparently in her words, the lady is one of the choristers who sing as if heaven has engulfed the church so it was a good day for the church folks who were screaming “eeii” “eeii” to the revelation. She wondered whether the Prophet couldn’t have handled the revelation meant for the lady in a much better way or he was too much under the “anointing” that ethics didn’t matter. Weeks later she told me she hasn’t been seeing the lady singing with her fellow choristers again and she suspects she might have stopped coming to church.

Then there was another lady called forward of whom the prophet said her mother is a witch and the reason for all her many misfortunes and she wondered what use is that sensitive information that can wreck a family to her my friend as a congregant to know. She asked me rhetorically, couldn’t they the congregation have still prayed for the said lady without that information being blurted out? Then she said if it were the lady she would just have stopped the church because she can’t imagine all the eyes that will be looking at her every Sunday and perhaps screaming in their heads “here comes the daughter of a witch”. “Even if my own mother is a witch and I even know it myself, there’s no way I am going to announce it to a whole church so why should God be interested in doing that?”, she expressed in worry.

And the examples go on and on and all over in almost every “spiritual” church. Not everybody is comfortable with every detail about them, whether good or bad, thrown out to public domain all in the name of prophesy? What code of ethics do ministers of God work with anyways?

Many men of God are doing so many unethical and humiliating things to people in the Church all in the name of the practice of spiritual callings. I’m not a Prophet to understand why and maybe I’m not “spiritual” so cannot discern spiritual things with my carnal mind but I sure do not think God’s intention for the prophetic and pastoral calling is how we see it being practiced.

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As for some of the Prophets and “men of God” who apparently God reveals football match and election results to so that we know and do what about, and whose only motive is to pride themselves with public declarations or “prophecies” about the death of people and not to save them, the least said about them the better. For now all I can say is, if of all the things happening in the world the only ones God cares about to inform us to just know for knowing sake are football and election results, then “I can’t think far” as Ghanaians have coined. And who knows, maybe mere prediction and soothsaying (perhaps under the influence of having eaten too much) is the same thing as prophesying under the unction of the Holy Spirit; or maybe we as Christians are just too gullible.

Well, the thing with opinions…maybe I’m getting it all wrong but whatever it is, God help his people!

 

© Mark Gadogbe (McApple)

Marriage & Personal Development Author

 

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Featured Image source:
LifeandLeadership.com

A new woman

I was a distant admirer

My eyes liking what they saw

The beautiful personality of a simple lady

So simple in all respects

Circumspect in choice of friends

Godly in character and dressing

Her chasteness so alluringly satisfying to me

I wished I could get closer

To experience her Godly ambience

But these now are mere ruminations of the past

For a new woman now I see

A totally changed personality

Running down an ungodly road

The road of conscious self exposure

A new love found in garments so scanty and revealing

My eyes lost all admirations

Having suffered a thousand “negative externalities”

From her now ungodly self exhibitions

Casting off her “breastplate of righteousness”

And parading her nakedness

To the displeasure of God and Godly men

But the pleasure of worldly men

To some, a shame to womanhood

To others, a good display of woman empowerment

I wondered what went wrong

 

© Mark Gadogbe (McApple)

 

Image source:
dailybiblememe.com

 

 

God help His Church…

We have said it a billion times!
Our churches have lost it!
Both the “sane” and “insane” churches
Our people both literate and illiterate have lost it too!
In the name of spirituality…we have all lost it!
We have argued many times
How far church discipline should go
We have argued a billion times
Where the Churches assumed role of “parenting” ends
We have raised it a million times
How church “membership” ought to be defined
And where the church’s “authority” over its “members” ends
We have voiced out a thousand times
How non-ethical our church leaders are operating
How manipulative and cunning they have become
How the main purpose of the Church has shifted
How “secular” our churches have become
How we can no longer differentiate
Church from a Business or Secular Organization, etc
But for fear of being labelled “carnal”
And put in some particular stereotypes
And for how wrongly we have been brainwashed
In interpreting the “touch not my anointed…” scriptures
The “it is God speaking through me” gimmicks
That makes us take every message/direction from the pulpit
Hook, line and sinker!
We ourselves have become unwise and “stupid” followers
How brainwashed we have become
How undiscerning we have become
How dead in our spirits we have become
Because we do not know the Bible for ourselves
Because we fail to realize
Our lives are not sold out to churches to do as they please
Our lives are to be led by Christ and not the Church
Church leading you and Christ leading you…
There’s a whole lot of difference!
The day you know…you will be liberated!

Mark Gadogbe (McApple)

(PS: Sentiments entirely mine! Don’t steal it! And don’t hate when you don’t share same sentiments! Leave me to Christ…lol 😂😜)

Opportunities are enticing…

Everything is nothing if you got no one;
Opportunities can be very enticing;
Makes u sometimes wanna sacrifice people;
A loved one for a dream of a lifetime;
Only in the end it stares you in the face;
That everything is nothing if you got no one.

 

Mark Gadogbe (McApple)

The rare gift of Critics

Apparently someone wasn’t very comfortable with my exploits on Facebook and especially about the fact that a lot of my updates are centered on relationship/marriage as if I knew it all tried to chastise me. But when I started my response thus: when my parents’ marriage of God knows how many years hit the rocks and threw our lives into a bit of misery, some of the scars still visible, and eventually my mother passed on, ….” the person stopped me from going on and said its okay. I didn’t know why and I didn’t have to ask why. But I wasn’t surprised because I know many share similar sentiments but just haven’t found the courage to express it in my face. Some who will not say it directly turn to be sarcastic with their remarks as if to suggest that I am too young to speak of that which those with years of practical experience are quiet about.

I guess that makes it true what I heard a certain man say recently that “older couples in terms of the length of marriage are wiser than younger couples”. I do not seek to dispute that though I could, putting it in a much broader perspective. But I believe young or old, we have our own wisdom which God confers on us; our wisdom is unique to us as long as we all have very different experiences of life. Let no man resent us then and rob us of who we are. We have been through things bigger than what people have been through and we have been through things smaller than what others have experienced but all in all, that is what defines us.

Maybe this is when we should take a cue from Timothy’s admonishment in 1 Timothy 4:12 (NIV) thus:

Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, …”

We cannot all build the same model of marriage; we only need a reflection of Christ in our models. Christian or not, our Christian lives are different and all Christian marriages are different too. Even in the life of two Christians, the exhibition of the character of Christ in their personal lives and marital practice will still vary. The idealists will say that every Christian marriage should look exactly the same in practice; well, that’s why they are idealists: being guided more by ideals than what’s practical.

Oh, guess I’m deviating huh? Well, I believe if my beloved critic had not cut short my response, I would have completed it with the words of Sheila Wray Gregoire thus:

Blogging about marriage really does make you more intentional about your own marriage

Perfect! The more I put out those updates, posts and thoughts, the more I would be made to see my life and marriage in the light of those words. See now how those unlimited updates benefit me too? Haha! Yes, I have loads of reasons why I do what I do and that just happens to b one perfect reason, my dear critic.

Oh, don’t we ever stop doing what God by inspiration lays on our hearts to do; you may never know whose life you are imparting. Just one testimony here: I have had people older than me and longer in marriage than me seek my counsel/views on certain issues.

Anyways, God just whispered into my spirit that to even have critics means people are reading and watching at a distance. So still thank God in whatever you do for the rare gift of critics.

Indeed, people are watching our marriages and love lives…let’s let them see heaven in it. We may be their only source of inspiration; their only hope that marriage can be beautiful and that marriage works!

Mark Gadogbe (McApple)