The Wait, a Wilderness Feeling

Sometimes I get discouraged at my journey, looking at where I have reached versus where I had wanted to be. It is not a good feeling.

For some of us, our dreams stagnated because we had to postpone many things to help others on the way. Sometimes you feel proud that God had to use you to give others hope and a shot at life. Other times, you feel downcast or low spirited seeing your present circumstance and the success of many folks you started with, and you know deep within you that you could have reached so much heights had the burdens been light.

Many times you would hope and pray that those you had to be a light to in their dark moments would stand with you in your low moments. But such a hope is also a big gamble because you have real scars, memories and histories of abandonment by even those you once shared a womb and a bed. Once bitten, twice shy, they say…so it makes sense to stop making sacrifices for people, but your nature seems to abhor “putting yourself first”. Not that you cannot make yourself the foremost and perhaps only priority, but your conscience always wins at dissuading you.

You are grateful for where God took you from to where you are now. But you are also dissatisfied with the present and dying for a change, for a new breakthrough, for quick answers to silent prayers. You feel you have long stayed in a wilderness situation and just a new wind of change will give you great joy and renewed hope.

When will that happen? When will God answer your heartfelt prayers? That is the bigger battle.  Not that you have not read many times the Biblical encouragement “do not be anxious about anything…Phil 4:6-7”, but waiting is indeed frustrating. They say it pays to wait but for now, “it pains to wait”. But hang in we must. To keep hopes alive and keep praying for a miracle and a turnaround we must.

Every once in a while we all deserve a good thing to lift our spirits up, don’t we?

©Mark Gadogbe, 2023

Unappreciated

One day, those who think we don’t care enough will realize we were the ones who cared most for them after all. Just maybe it will be too late then.

Many times we break our back for people but they don’t see it because we always put them in front or ahead of us and our own needs. That is simply because of how much we love or value them, but if they were behind us or had we made their needs secondary to ours, they would have seen.

Sometimes, people make you want to regret being there for them or losing yourself to rather make their dreams come true. Later, they begin to treat you or relate with you like you had no dreams of your own. They begin to make you feel like you are a loser – and they probably are right when you begin to think about all the years, time and resources you have lost “supporting” them. People are in many ways ungrateful and forget so easily how our own dreams died to keep theirs alive.

Maybe the problem is people being wired to think it does not cost a thing to help others or some are just born deserving of help like some kind of a birthright (they call it grace). Helping people costs so much…it did cost Jesus His life! Grace did come at a cost. Duh!

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©Mark Gadogbe, 2022

Love songs

Everyone is a poet. Just wait until they find love and be intoxicated by it. The things they will say can make up a “profane” song if you should compose a song with their words; Pastors or the holiest of Christians alike. 😂😜

Sometimes it is difficult to tell if the profanity of a song is just because of the words used, or because the composers do not identify as Christians. I am tempted to believe the possibility that Christians in love (married or not) sometimes spew words with more sexual, sensual or “profane” undertones than some worldly song composers. I cannot for one imagine that two very pure Christians in a relationship would only be exchanging scriptures or discussing Bible and not have sexual feelings towards each other or communicating same without the use of some words or strong descriptors that crosses the purity line.

Love and sexuality are such a strong mix of emotions that we cannot live in denial of. They can sometimes break the strongest of defenses, take over a person and get them communicating their truest feelings, mostly lustful feelings that will make beautiful poems or love songs. There is some certainty of a strong mix of lust in even the purest of human love. If you have never fallen in love before, you can deny that lust does coexist with love.

Love must be expressed and it often finds its expression in communicating our deepest or truest of feelings in sometimes the most vivid, explicit and unrestrained ways possible, mostly galvanised with a bit of sensual undertones.

Relationships must be so boring without a bit of lustfulness in the mix. And trust me, every lustful thoughts in a relationship that may find its expression on paper will make up a profane song. One can only imagine how the holiest of Pastors even get their wives in the mood for a hot and holy sexual encounter. I bet they get their wives horny with a great dose of scriptures that when put on paper will make a gospel song. One would say after all, that is legal…they are married for God’s sake and are allowed to express lust. 😊

Never mind, I wasn’t trying to make any meaning with this post anyways; but you’re still blessed if it made just a bit of sense to you. 😀

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©Mark Gadogbe, 2022

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Love Sometimes Gets Messy

Love is a good thing; people make it messy.
Be careful the kind of advice you give to people in love or blinded by love…for good or for bad. Some people are not wise enough to read between the lines when you offer advice.

Someone once told me “when two lovers fight in a toxic relationship and you advice one to leave the other, the next time they have make-up sex and re-establish their bond, the mess will be on you, because the one you advised will surely tell the other you proposed that they break up”.

Yes, it happens all the time. That’s how unwise love makes some people.
So, it is always best to avoid rubbing your mouth into people’s love affairs, and be especially wise even when they invite you themselves into it!

We all get tangled in that web sometimes and you just don’t know what to say or not to say.
It’s not our fault though; love sometimes just gets so unavoidably messy! 😊

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©Mark Gadogbe, 2021

Featured Image Source: https://instagram.com/carlosdanielart?igshid=1kgw0qogzpaj7

Dear Women, It’s International Men’s Day! Hello?

International Men’s Day is celebrated on 19th November every year to celebrate men and address some important male issues. Unfortunately, it appears the day doesn’t receive as much buzz as its opposite, International Women’s Day, which is celebrated on March 8 every year.

I know it’s somehow sad that an important day as International Men’s Day passes every year without some women in our lives even realizing it. The least they could do is to use the day to recognize our existence as men and the positive roles we play (no matter how little) in their life and society as a whole, but somehow, it often appears there’s a grand scheme amongst some women to pretend not to know what day today is and what every little bit of appreciation means to men.

Maybe it’s not a grand scheme after all. Perhaps it’s just a sad reality that only a few men out there are influencing women’s lives positively enough to warrant a great celebration or recognition by the large army or population of women.

Perhaps, the reality might also just be that it is time for us men to embrace the sad fact that the world is progressively becoming feminine, and our essence in this new world might continue to be downplayed. We might as well awaken to the fact that it’s not just gender equality or balance that is being sought but female domination.

Perhaps, all men are needed for by some women in this “new feminist world” is to be sperm donors. If we are not lucky, that’s the only recognition we may continue to get. We may only find our worth when our “new age women” get tired of their dildos, so let’s fast and pray they do real quick…for our own good. 😂😜

In any case, may the good Lord continue to bless and lift up all women who continue to recognize, appreciate and celebrate the men in their life. Thank you for being our support system and life blood! 🙏🏾

Happy International Men’s Day to all men! May we continue to play our divine roles and fulfill God’s purpose in our lives. The world can still not do without us, under God’s divine order. 👏🏽💪🏽🙏🏾

©Mark Gadogbe, 2020

Unfuck Yourself 😊

What matters right this minute is that we’re still alive, irrespective of our present circumstances. Because once we have life, we have hope that we will still achieve our dreams no matter how slow it takes. All that we’ve lost that had “dimmed” our shine, we surely will get back, through legitimate means. Yes, no matter the odds, we will not give ourselves to illegitimate dealings.

We will continue to give ourselves to study, working hard with integrity and dreaming our big dreams. The progress may seem really slow but it’s better than being dead, obviously.

Hopefully, life will afford us the chance to “unfuck” ourselves and get back on track…then just maybe, we will earn some respect from those who look down on our today, just because we seem to have lost our shine. 😊

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©Mark Gadogbe, 2021

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Death Note

You see, people die everyday, and people will always die as long as the earth exists.

I don’t care who we choose to blame when someone dies – some blame God and give up on Him. They are of the strong opinion that, He being a good God means He shouldn’t allow people to die. Perhaps, that’s a very limited way of thinking about it.

You see, when God took away the most important person in my life, He didn’t forget to leave me the most important lesson about life and death. That lesson for me is that when He (God) takes away a loved one from us, He makes sure He leaves what’s most important about the person with us – right here in our hearts. And that’s not for us to be bitter and hateful of Him (well, He still gives us the choice to), but to still know He cares enough to give us such a heart and fond memories of them.

Perhaps, a deep mind and strong grounding in Christ is required to fully comprehend God’s ways.

So here’s catch, when I die… hahaha, don’t worry, I will definitely die one day, for it’s only a fool who thinks he will never die; I only ask of you one thing: that you should not be bitter with my God, my maker. Can u do that?
I hope and I pray thee!! 😊

©Mark Gadogbe, 2021

Owning up to our realities

All there is to life is facing reality. You can’t escape the realities of life; you can only live through it (facing one reality after the other) and hope to grow through it. Nobody’s life is easier; we are all facing realities, but just differently.

Reality is always staring us in the face but we always try to look the other way. Many times, we truly just don’t want to face reality. Perhaps, it’s a much bitter pill to swallow; so, we keep trying to run away from it…forgetting that we may only be plunging ourselves into another reality in a different form.

If you think somebody’s life is rosier than yours, think again. If you think somebody’s relationship/marriage is better, happier and shinier than yours, think again. Accept yours as it is and invest in it. If you think those who are married are better and more fulfilled than you, think again, my dear. If you think those living in cosier houses, environment and own expensive cars are way much better and happier than you, think again. If you think those who are academically more accomplished than you are better than you, spare yourself a moment and think through again.

Perhaps, you also think those who have never experienced a relationship failure (“broken heart”) are better than you? Think again. Do you know what they might have lost in life? Well, maybe you might also be thinking those who married young are better than you who married late? Think again, for in this life, nothing is ever a sure guarantee.

No permutation is ever a sure bet in this life, trust me. We’ve seen young people die in their prime. We’ve seen young marriages collapse. We’ve seen far too many young people becoming widows and widowers. We’ve seen people’s fortunes turn upside down just overnight. We’ve seen and heard all the unthinkable happen! Why then do we place so much confidence in this life and worry ourselves to death, thinking we are perhaps the only ones experiencing the harsh realities of life, and trying to wish it away? You may be surprised that life is fucking everybody up!

It’s important you enjoy your own little life and be thankful for it, for the day you hear people’s full stories, you would wish you were never them. If life could be traded or exchanged, many will regret purchasing other people’s lives. People only show you what they want to show you, and trust me, there’s so much gabbage in people’s lives that you wouldn’t want to buy or even envy, if only you knew the full story. People are fighting hidden battles we are never privileged to see.

Sometimes, it is only when God opens our eyes to see what is going on in other people’s lives that we become thankful and accepting of our own realities. In such moments we realize after all, that our own lives and realities are perhaps better off than we thought or imagined.

We should make the best of our time here on earth for life in itself is not promised (guaranteed). Here today, gone tomorrow. That’s the life we’re truly living. Grace is the only differentiator.

©Mark Gadogbe, 2021

Cover image credit: https://instagram.com/museumofblackart?igshid=9r194jprooxh

Why label Christians judgmental just because they do not support your cause?

Every one in life is entitled to their choices. God gave each of us that right. Society through human rights has also given us same right.

Nonetheless, you will find that in any human setting, even in the animal kingdom, we all can never agree on one thing, or follow the same path. This is simply because we are all different. Yes, we are all different and so will always disagree; there will always be differences in society, including people who will always form majority and others in minority. Even science keeps talking about mutations, and I don’t know if that can simply be explained as “variations from the norm”. The norms do change too, even if rarely, bringing up new differences or variants to deal with.

Similarly, I believe as human beings, we all have our different experiences of life and hence, our different opinions. Whether we feel something is right or wrong, we are entitled to share our opinion about whatever affects our life and the ultimate wellbeing of society. The same society we live in, I believe, wants us to share our opinion freely without being labelled hateful just because another set of people do not see our reason, or agree with our stance. However, it is always important to realize that where one person’s right ends, another person’s begin.

I believe we can all appreciate the fact that even where there is love (like in marriage), there still exists disagreements brought on by our natural differences. However, the fact that you disagree with your partner (or share different opinions, likes and dislikes) does not necessarily mean you are hateful! Does it? Even married people have different sexual preferences. Some like doggy sex, others don’t; some like oral sex, others you can never get to agree to oral sex. There are people in marriage whose only sexual preference is missionary style, any other style is unnatural to them and can never change their preference for a million dollars. The sexual preference differences is endless in marriages, but does it simply culminate in hate? You will be amazed at people’s views and stance about the simple subject of sex, even in Christian marriages.

We all exercise the right to be different or be heard, irrespective of our backgrounds, cultures, religious stances, sexual orientations, etc. However, when you find yourself in the minority and want something to be accepted in any setting, you stand on a point/foundation (whether religious, social, biological, humanitarian, etc) to push your argument through. You don’t do that yet deny someone else the right to present opposing argument. We see that always in parliaments and various settings. Even at our workplaces, when you feel you are being overlooked by your bosses or want to push a different idea or practice from the norm, you won’t just be embraced without having to push through your argument.

So, must the expression of disapproval for any act or action always be labeled as HATE? Where do we really draw the line, to not always attempt to equate disapproval to hate?

I identify as Christian yet do not HATE anybody who identifies otherwise or engages in anything unchristian; neither do I take away their right to freely speak of that which they believe in or hold as true. Even among us Christians, we disagree on a number of things but that doesn’t mean we HATE or are JUDGEMENTAL of others.

I will really appreciate it so much if people stop labeling Christians whose opinion differ from a certain group as JUDGEMENTAL and HATEFUL people anytime they share an opinion that someone else disagrees with. You know why? That’s because, funny enough, whilst trying to condemn Christians, you are in essence being judgemental towards them…sometimes without even realizing it; the same thing you’re trying to avoid. See the circle? Right!

This applies to every topical issue in life, including the ever sensitive LGBTQI+ discourse gaining momentum in all parts of the world.

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©Mark Gadogbe, 2021

A Philanthropist in Need?

Sometimes, the people who make the big sacrifices, who readily go out of their way to help others, don’t get help easily when they need it.

Maybe people just don’t believe their helpers can also ever be in need. How can a Philanthropist ever be in need?

But thank goodness there’s a God who supplies man’s every need.

Man out of his limited resources will draw, but God’s resources are limitless; what better helper than Him? He alone remains our help in ages past; our hope for years to come!

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©Mark Gadogbe, 2020