Sexual appetite

Okay, we are going sexual again today. 🙈

No man is different in their appetite for sex. Any normal man will have a high sex drive; the only exceptions to the rule are those suffering from some kind of sexual dysfunction.

So, dear sister, don’t feel burdened by a man’s craving for sex; rather be glad it is you he is interested in getting down with and not somebody else. If you are intentionally not offering sex to your partner (in marriage) because you feel burdened by it, you are intentionally pushing him to get it elsewhere. Perhaps you would rather he craves for someone else?

And sorry to burst your bubble, but a man will surely look for what he’s not getting elsewhere once his patience runs out o 😂. Only mad people go about looking for what is not lost. A good man will not go looking for what he already has, unless it’s lost. Once it’s not lost, why go roaming the streets? A man will drink from his own well as long as there’s sweet water in the well to continually quench his thirst. So, sisters, don’t let your wells run dry. 🤗

Understand the concept of a man’s sexual appetite and discover the reason why that good man may be cheating or being tempted to 😊. It could sometimes have a lot more to do with your “inabilities” than him. That’s not to say cheating is justified or entirely a woman’s fault anyways. But the fact is that a man’s sexual appetite is a fire that needs quenching, else it burns. 😊

The other day, a woman was complaining her husband bothers her with sex. Then she was asked if she would rather some other lady gives it to him sometimes and she said hell no! Apparently, she’s not ready to offer, neither willing to share. 🤗

©Mark Gadogbe (McApple), 2019

Marital rape and abuse?

A woman comes into a police station and tells the officer at the front desk that she wants to report that her husband is committing domestic violence against her, including committing marital rape against her.

An officer takes her into a room to begin interviewing her.

Officer: “Mam please describe to me incidents of marital rape and other types of domestic abuse that your husband has committed against you.”

Wife: “Well officer it all started 5 years ago after we got married. I turned him down when he asked for sex and he started telling me that because we had a Christian marriage, he and I both had a right to have sex with one another, and except for short mutually agreed upon times for when we’re sick or otherwise unable to, we ought not to turn down one another”.

Officer: “Did he force himself on you that night?”

Wife: “No – he just walked away, but I felt intimidated by the fact that he believed it was a sin for couples to deny each other, I felt pressure for the next time he wanted to have sex”.

rapewife

Officer: “Ok – so tell me more.”

Wife: “I decided I needed to set my husband straight about sex. I believe every person’s body is their own and no one has a right to coerce or convince someone to have sex when they are not in the mood, not even in marriage. I shared this truth that all of us as enlightened people should accept now in modern society. I told him it is NEVER selfish for me not to want to have sex for any reason, but it is ALWAYS selfish for him to try and convince me to have sex when I am not in the mood.

I told him that I would no longer feel pressured to have sex with him, and that really sex is just a small part of marriage. I told him I believed sex in marriage was not a “right”, but a privilege and that it should only happen when BOTH he and I were in the mood because of how happy and in love we were with each other. In fact, I even told him that just because I don’t want to have sex that often, that does not mean I don’t love him, I just don’t need it that often. I said we ought to be able to enjoy our marriage with one another, without having to need sex all the time – it should happen on special occasions when we are both in the mood.”

Officer: “So how did he respond to that?”

Wife: “He asked me if he was doing something wrong in the bedroom. He asked me if he could help to put me in the mood more often. I told him it had nothing to do with anything wrong he was doing, it was just the fact that I don’t need sex that often, and he ought to respect that and accept that. He was not happy with my view on sex and said my belief was a sin according to our mutually held belief in the Bible as God’s Word. I thought overtime he would overcome his beliefs, and realize that he could take care of himself if he needed it and just be grateful for the times when I was in the mood and wanted to have sex.”

Officer: “Mam but when did he commit marital rape against you?”

Wife: “Well there were many times, that I was not in the mood, and I said No.”

Officer: “So are these the times that he forced himself on you?”

Wife: “No he did not force himself on me, but he coerced me into having sex with him.”

Officer: “How did he coerce you?”

Wife: “Well he told me that I was being selfish, and that I was sinning against God and him by denying his sexual needs. He told me if I continued denying him that we would need to go to a Christian counselor – so I gave in many times and let him have sex with me when I was not in the mood”.

Officer: “So you gave consent? Or did her force you?”

Wife: “Well he did not physically force himself, but I felt pressured because he was going to have us go to a counselor, so I just gave in and let him. But that was still rape right?”

Officer: “Uh, no mam that was not rape. Your allowing him to have sex with you when you were not in the mood because you did not want to go to a counselor was not rape. You made a decision, you decided you would rather have sex with him than go to a counselor, you gave consent.”

consent

Wife: “Ok but later he did even more things to coerce me…”

Officer: “What things did he do?”

Wife: “He eventually got me to go to a Christian counselor, and I felt really pressured by that counselor that I had to have sex with my husband more, and that I needed to let him try to put me in the mood even when I was not – I could not believe it –who did this counselor think he was? I told that counselor he was full of garbage.”

Officer: “Then what happened?”

Wife: “Then my husband asked me after the counseling appointment if I really loved him and cared about our marriage – and I told him “Of course I do! I love our life together – we just disagree about sex”. I told him if he could just accept my views of sex our marriage would be perfect, he was a good man and I enjoyed going places with him and doing things with him. This was now two years into our marriage and we had an infant son, and my husband was such great father to our son. For some reason that was not good enough for him, he thought we needed more sex in our marriage.”

Officer: “Ok did he come to accept your view of sex?”

Wife: “No – he actually setup an appointment with the Pastor of our church and his wife! I went even though I did not want to, and our Pastor actually told me I was sinning against my husband by denying him! The nerve! It’s my body, and no one, not my Pastor, not my husband is going to tell me otherwise.”

Officer: “Mam but how did your husband commit domestic violence against you? Or when did he rape you?”

Wife: “Well after the appointment with the Pastor all of a sudden he canceled with the babysitter and stopped taking me on our weekly dates. I asked him why and he said it was because I was “sinning against him and our marriage by my willful sexual denial” wasn’t that domestic abuse? After all he was using our date night to get me to admit I was wrong about sex in our marriage.”

Officer: “Um mam – he is not required by law to take you on dates.”

Wife: “But wait – there is more. We had a new kitchen remodel that we were ready to sign papers on and he called and canceled the meeting to sign the papers to get the work started. He said the kitchen we had while outdated, was still functional and he was not comfortable with spending the money to do it. We were only cleared to get the work done based on his income, and I don’t make enough to do it on my income alone.”

Officer: “Um mam – he is not required by law to get your kitchen updated.”

Wife: “But wait you need to hear this. He used to go clean out my car every weekend. I would pick a room each weekend for him to dust and clean, and now he stopped doing that. He used to give me back rubs at least once or twice a week. Now he stopped doing that too – he can’t do that right? This is emotional abuse! This is manipulation right? He says it is “discipline” to bring me to understand God’s view of sex in marriage.

Officer: “Well mam maybe he is manipulating you or maybe he just does not want to do these things for you anymore. Either way, none of this so far that you have told me is illegal, you might not like it, I might not like it, but it is not illegal.”

Wife: “What do you mean not illegal? The law says he can’t make me do anything I don’t want to do?”

marital-rape-can-a-husband-rape-his-wife-l-llfnkm

Officer: “Mam, from everything you have told me, you have done whatever you did by your own choice. You might have done it because you wanted to avoid stress, or going to a counselor, or you just did not feel like arguing.”

Wife: “But there is still one more horrible thing I have not told you – my husband changed his auto deposit of his paycheck so it no longer goes in our joint checking account, he has his own account now. He goes grocery shopping for us each week now. I used to do the grocery shopping. He gave me the credit cards that were in my name for me to pay out of my own paychecks. I work too, but I don’t make nearly as much money as my husband. I used to be able to go anywhere I wanted and spend what I wanted, but now I have no spending money. That is financial abuse right? He can’t do that right?”

Officer: “Mam is he providing food, shelter and clothing for you and your child? Is he holding you in your home against your will?”

Wife: “Well yes he is providing those things for me and my son, and no he is not holding me against my will. He makes sure my car is fully fueled every week. He gives me some cash for if I need some things during the day when he is at work. But I used to have full access to all our money in our joint bank account and I was able to do what I wanted with our money, and now he took that from me – he can’t do that”.

Officer: “Mam – why are you still with this man? You clearly don’t see marriage the same way he does and it sounds like he is either trying to teach you something or he is getting ready to divorce you by separating his money into another account. He may have even had an attorney advise him to do that with his paychecks. If you get with a divorce attorney, your attorney can get a “status quo” order, which then requires your husband not to spend any sums of money without clearing it with the court and your attorney. The court can order that he has to provide you with a certain dollar amount each week that you can put in your own account and spend as you want as you go through the divorce process and they can order him to continue paying all the household expenses.”

Wife: “Divorce process! I just want him to stop what he is doing and let us go back to our old life. I love him and the life we have. I don’t want to have joint custody of our son, I don’t want to see my son every other week, I want to see him every day! We would have to sell our home, and even if I could keep it in the divorce I would have no way to make the payments even with child support and alimony from him. I don’t want half my life, I want all my life – the way it was! Can’t you or another police officer tell my husband to stop doing these things and we can still stay married? Can we have a judge order him to take me on dates, upgrade the kitchen, put his money back in our joint account and stop asking me for sex? My girlfriends at work told me what he is doing is domestic abuse and is illegal – that means you can stop him right and force him to stop doing all this right?”

Officer: “Um- no sorry no one can do that for you. I don’t mean to get in your personal affairs mam, but it sounds like you have quite the dilemma, there is an old saying “You can’t have your cake and eat it too”. You have to make a choice, either work out the sexual issues with your husband and make your marriage work, or divorce him and try and find a man who believes as you do, that whoever wants sex the least determines how often a married couple has sex.”

© The frustrated feminist wife. Biblicalgenderroles.com (2015)

MARRIAGE IS FOR MEN, NOT BOYS. IT’S NO MONKEY BUSINESS

When it comes to marriage, the difference between a man and a boy is not about age but maturity of the mind, emotions, intellect, actions, etc. Maturity does matter; but not necessarily in terms of age. As John Grier is believed to have said, “You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime”. See the difference?

A marriage between a 20 year old man and a 19 year old woman will be a rare occurrence in many parts of the world, where it appears the very first and sometimes most important determinant of the success of a marriage is the physical age of the people involved. In many such cultures and places the “a young man married is a man that’s marred” Shakespearean ideology rules.

Surprisingly though, the legal adult and marriageable age of 18 or lower is recognized for almost all purposes in this same places. It is well known that about 82% of the world’s countries and 67% of countries in Africa prescribe 18 years as the marriageable age. So what is the problem? Why hold strongly that marriage between 20 year olds will not succeed then?

Irrespective of all the benefits of marrying “young”, I always maintain that marriage is huge; very huge! Anybody entering that institution must thus “study to show himself approved” and anyone irrespective of the age (18 and above) who has done his or her homework well and has prepared adequately for it must be permitted to go in without raising of eyebrows simply because they are “young”. As the age old adage goes, “a child who learns to wash his hands well can eat with the elders”. Similarly, anybody no matter the age, who learns well the rudiments of marriage, can succeed in the institution. Or can we easily say as a fact that it is only at a particular age that people will be fully prepared for marriage and to succeed thereof?

Nonetheless, for a man, I think he should also make sure that aside every other thing, he is financially sound to run his family and if he can at 20, then glory hallelujah! And for a woman, if at the age of 19 she is well informed about marriage, motherhood and all wifely roles and is ready for it, glory hallelujah!

By 20 years however, most men and women in Africa and some parts of the world by the nature or structure of their educational and support systems would still be in school anyways. Funny enough, most will still be in high school anyways…and why think about marriage, sex, starting a family and all that when you are in school, probably still under your parents care and most definitely without any job anyways?

men-not-boys

“Marriage is no child’s play” does not mean a man/woman should be above 30/40 before marrying. There are no rules. It just means marriage is no monkey business; it’s not a frivolous venture, but is serious in content, attitude and behavior (and the list goes on). It’s a maturity issue and we do know that in many cases maturity is not commensurate with age. Proof is that we’ve seen so many old folks behaving so immature!

I do believe in marrying “young” but not rushing into marriage when one is not well prepared mentally, emotionally, financially, spiritually…and all the “llys” one can think of.

Marriage is an exciting journey…so good luck to everyone considering it, irrespective of age. Just know it’s no monkey business.

Cheers!

 

© Mark Gadogbe (McApple)

Marriage & Personal Development Author

 

 

Marriage exists because sex exists?

There is a saying that many hold as true that “marriage exists because sex exists” and I’ve been trying to wrap my head around it.

Does that expression mean that many of us wouldn’t marry or even consider marriage if not for sex? Does that make marriage a “way of escape” so one can have their “hot and holy sex” devoid of the guilt of sin?

But how come then that many people marry so they can have “unlimited opportunity or access” to free, uninhibited, holy or guilt-free sex only to get stuck in the reality that sex even happens frustratingly less often in marriage than they expected? Is it sane then to just bluntly recommend marriage to young people struggling to control their sexual urges, drives and appetites as if marriage really will solve their problem?

I have heard countless testimonies or should I say confessions of people who MARRIED FOR SEX and ended up becoming more miserable than before. There are sad stories of people who could not even express their sexual freedom in marriage, which apparently was supposed to be the realm where they could have all the sex they want, but now rather feel imprisoned by it because they have to literally “beg” their spouse before they could even get some sex.

Talk of the frequently unmatched libidos, work schedules, stress levels and the countless reasons partners give to avoid sex on the regular, it becomes detestable to some Christians that they no longer have authority over their own bodies (biblically) to even explore other ways of sexual satisfaction except to wait on their partner until they are in the mood to offer sex.

Many have begged the question “why should one be left literally at the mercy of another in marriage to have their sexual needs being met?” To force oneself on one’s partner even when your sexual needs are not being met will be totally condemned as insensitive, emotional abuse and worse case, rape (which is a chargeable offense). To satisfy oneself outside the marriage is even worse and a complete no no! Why not just have sex with oneself (masturbate) then for all the reasons one can find…to avoid the temptation of infidelity, to avoid forcing yourself on your spouse, to avoid constant arguments over sex or becoming a bother to your spouse, etc?

You may have very justifiable reasons to go the option of “sexing oneself” and that may solve some of your sexual problems but does that even make it right or is that even a safe zone in marriage? What about the risks of it becoming an addictive habit and making you desire even your spouse less and less? What about that which was supposed to be a temporal solution or alternative option in the end becoming a bigger problem than the actual lack of regular sex? Can you even openly discuss that with your spouse and would your even “unavailable, busy or uninterested in sex spouse” give their approval or interpret it as equal to cheating? Are you willing to risk breaking your marriage if your partner should chance on you “enjoying yourself”?

Christian views on the subject are even so varied and confusing if you want to convince yourself whether self-pleasure is right or wrong in marriage. Even the mere question of whether sex is a need for survival like food that one cannot do without, the Christian community cannot agree on, and you want to have just one right or wrong answer on that very sensitive subject of self-pleasure? 🤔😊

That’s just by the way, but more seriously, with all the sexual issues that throng marriages and many times wreck it, is it still fair to say MARRIAGE EXISTS BECAUSE SEX EXISTS? Is it still sane to encourage people to marry and then all their sexual needs will be solved?

Well, these seem more like rhetorical questions but more so, an evidence of my mental struggles anytime I try to read wide to keep an open mind or to broach certain subjects. 🤣🙊🙈

Thanks for reading. Do share your thoughts…we learn as we share.

©Mark Gadogbe (McApple), 2019

Sex is the spice of marriage 

A sexless or sex-starved marriage is a suffering marriage…it’s not marriage at play at all. It can at best be described as FRIENDSHIP at play.

Per Bible standards or rules of Christianity, SEX is what differentiates married people from unmarried people. Sex is virtually the only thing prohibited for the unmarried or let me put it this way, friends can do everything married people do except to engage in sexual intercourse.

So, what’s the point being married and not having sex on the regular? This is not to say marriage is all about sex…I’m addressing sexless or sex-starved marriage.

Sex is what separates the boys from the men…if you want to put it in a funny way. Friendship is good in marriage but it should never take the place of sex.

Regular sex in a marriage makes God happy because it solves a lot of problems in the marriage. Couples are happier in a marriage where sex is not lacking…and the devil is always defeated.

The devil’s main goal is to see couples not connect, knowing very well intimacy is a strong bond in marriage. He will get you to fight, disagree on sex, not want sex, not enjoy it and not want to even try harder. Meanwhile remember “a great sex life requires effort”. Once you stop trying, the devil wins.

Sex is an indicator of love whether you like it or not. Can you have sex with someone you don’t love or have mutual connection with? Yes! But at best, that will be described as abuse or rape at worse.

I believe all things being equal, any man or woman who is sexually satisfied will not leave his or her marriage.

It is said that when a man or woman is sexually satisfied, they are more emotionally stable.

It is also said sex is not only for making children so you should never let the children rob you of a satisfying sexual life. Be mindful that the sex preceded the children.

And be sure to note that in marriage, any time you give needless excuses for sex, the devil wears a silly grin of victory. 😊

OK, that should be enough for today. Hope you’ll also share your thoughts with us. Cheers!

©Mark Gadogbe (McApple), 2019

Why don’t you discuss sex while dating?

While dating, there’s that huge temptation of being interested in actually having sex than discussing the subject of sex and your expectations of sex in marriage. Majority of cases, you can bet that subject is not broached at all. One seems to wonder then, how do lovers jump from talking about sex to rather how many children they will want to have and what kind of home they will want them growing in? Sex precedes children (it’s actually what leads to children), so why don’t lovers discuss the sex itself before bringing in the topic of kids? Why assume everything about your sex life in marriage will just fall in place?

It’s fair to say that most dating relationships have little conversation about sex, forgetting that a great percentage of success in marriage depends on how you handle your sexual expectations in marriage. You may be surprised sex sometimes happens less frequently in marriage than you expect (after telling yourself you will have so much once you marry). And when that happens, how do you handle that mountain of unmet expectations?

Like Dr. Kim Kimberly puts it, “it is interesting that we live in a sex-charged world, yet talk so little about it in our marriage relationships. I think that going into marriage I felt like I knew all that I needed to know and that a great sex life would just happen. That theory didn’t hold water very long“.

There are a lot of realities about sex to discover in marriage than is out there or you may have even experienced in your many bouts of pre-marital sex. Everything else is different in marriage and you will get to learn that you need a lot more than just the sexual compatibility or attraction that makes you want to test the “forbidden waters” before locking it down. No matter how much effort you put in the “doing sex” rather than “talking sex” before marriage, chances are things will be a whole lot different in marriage even with all the experience you may think you have gained with pre-marital sex.

Married sex is a game changer and you can sometimes be left disappointed if you just assume things will just pick up perfectly once you’re married. You’ll be surprised you’ll have to learn loads of patience, experimenting, empathy, forgiveness, listening, understanding and a lot of “rewriting of scripts” from your pre-marital escapades. Very few couples get their sexual expectations met right from the honeymoon. You may be surprised to discover that very few people get it right from the word go, even for those who have been sexually involved before marriage.

It becomes therefore very important to have realistic expectations of and discussions on sex before you enter marriage with a truck load of fantasies and thinking you have mastered the act or got it all together in your head how things should play out.

OK, so here’s where we end for today. Till next time, do share your thoughts with us. Will love to hear them…we learn as we share!

©Mark Gadogbe (McApple), 2018

The money and sex game in dating relationships

Often times, we all come across questions like “should I give in to my boyfriend who keeps demanding sex? ” and it’s various variants. The usual and most sensible (or religious) response is of course don’t; never ever to a man you are not married to!

While those responses are very good (even though it’s easier given than practiced), I will definitely add that don’t you as a lady also constantly demand for money from him or make him spend on you!

That may appear an unfair addition but often times, there’s almost always a correlation which sometimes may not respect religious rules. Truth (for me) is that, whether you like it or not, the moment a man begins to spend his money on a woman he is not married to, he is most likely to start placing demands that often include sex. Somehow, he feels entitled to it.

Money is a man’s sweat and blood and every man naturally expects to get something back (returns) on money spent (their investment). Men have always made that very clear, sometimes in seemingly subtle ways. If the man you’re dating hasn’t, chances are sooner or later he will give you that hint of a “red flag” unless you stop being “dependent” on him financially.

The times we live in now, even the best of Christian men, who will be honest to themselves, will tell you that they are not just born generous so that they can continue to be a “milk cow” or “cash cow” for the “Christian Sisters”. I’ve spoken to a few Christian brothers and that seems to be the general line of thought. They will tell you that parting with their hard earned money has nothing to do with religion and they must naturally have the satisfaction of getting good returns on money spent. If they marry you and then spend on you, that’s great for them, but the mere satisfaction of dating and spending freely on a Christian sister “in hope for marriage” will not suffice. What if she ends up not marrying me?

Some argue that if giving sex to a man you’re not married to is wrong, then everything should be wrong also with being made to spend money on a woman you’re not married to. The crust of their argument is that money is to men what virginity is to women…they have almost equal value to the different sexes. A man values his sweat as much as a woman values saving herself until marriage. On the fun side, some said the feeling of being broke as a man is similar to the feeling of a woman breaking her virginity to some idiot. 😊

Again, some argue that, if only the women will stop asking for money at every turn in a relationship, possibly the men will not use it as a leverage to demand sex.

But the real question is, can today’s woman really decide to not live off a man before marriage? Is that even possible? The way women love money…can they really stop demanding money from the men in their lives in order to meet all their needs?

Both Christian men and women want to stay holy in their love relationships, no doubt. But men should not be made to or encouraged by Churches to run “charities” with their money in dating relationships while the women save themselves for the same mutually beneficial goal of marriage…especially in these time of clamouring for women empowerment. The empowerment must be holistic and affect every aspect of life.

Both sexes must be encouraged to save what’s most valuable to them…and it’s fair to say in these times, men seem to value money more than keeping their sexuality in check (saving themselves for marriage). Is it not true that it doesn’t worry a man that much if he loses his virginity but it worries a woman to death? Men must save their monies to spend on their wives and not their dates. The Churches must encourage that and create that balance in the call for holiness and sanctity of dating relationships.

……………………………………………………………………………………..

(Sorry and forgive me if my opinion is wrong or doesn’t make religious sense. Sometimes my carnal mind speaks unguarded 😊)

But why not share your thoughts with us? Will love to read them…we learn as we share!

©Mark Gadogbe (McApple), 2018

Love Lusts Too – A poem

Lust and love…

I sometimes don’t even know the difference

When I can’t get you off my mind

Is it love I am feeling or lust

When all I want is to make love to you and hold you close to me

Is it still love I am feeling or lust

Or is it love only when you’re married and lust when you’re not?

The feelings sometimes feel same

Like love sure coexists with lust

Maybe that’s only true in marriage

But I see lust in true love many times

So much lust between partners for the object of their love

Not people they have a fling with, but people they truly love and will die for

Then I become confused and I conclude

Maybe love lusts too. Maybe it does!

©Mark Gadogbe (Kobby McGad), 2018

Sex is a big deal 

Women usually don’t understand why men make a big deal out of sex; it’s like their whole being is wired to sex. It’s a simple answer: SEX IS A BIG DEAL!

Never trivialize sex. If it were not a big deal, a man could simply go have it with another woman and not come facing his wife’s wrath. It’s a big deal and you would know when you check the statistics on how many marriages hit the rocks over sex related issues.

Again it’s a BIG DEAL because even the Bible stresses on it a lot and even recommends that couples have sex on the regular to avoid falling into temptations. The only exception given is the 1 Cor 7:5 clause “…except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer“.

It is important to build healthy intimacy in marriage and one of the best and proven ways is through SEX.

When you trivialize sex, you risk truncating your marriage; and when the sex is dull, it saps the shine out of the marriage. There’s a reason why it’s called “intimacy”. And who doesn’t like all the many benefits of intimacy?

You can always bet the one who doesn’t may be the same one whose marriage is suffering. Why? Because it is often hard to see a couple with a great sex life or physical intimacy talking divorce. “Sex nips divorce in the bud“. So give it, and give it all; not in small tots as if it’s a harmful alcohol. It’s rather a good kind of intoxication so don’t withhold it.

Instead of getting into the habit of looking for ways not to indulge, understand that marital success hinges a great deal on sex. Let everything be good but the sex bad and u can still bet 90% that things will fall apart. So why not channel as much energy there, as you do all other areas of your marriage? If the sex is not that great, work at improving it in love…not looking for reasons to avoid it.

But whatever you decide, know that sex is one of the surest ways of keeping a man…every man. The porn industry knows that too well…else, why do you think it’s always a thriving business? The interest of man (in general) in sex, his fixation on sex, the curiosity, the adventure, the excitement, the adrenalin rush…just name them, will keep every man asking for more and making it a BIG DEAL. It’s a big deal to a man when your interest is more into anything but sex. Lol

God is not stupid not to have known that about us His most priced creations, hence the 1 Cor 7:5 reference. And don’t forget the prostitutes know that so well too…so keep looking for excuses and lose him (same goes for the men too; keep looking for excuses and lose her) to the next bidder who will put much value on what you don’t value.

Great Sex = Great Marriage

Do the maths!

©Mark Gadogbe (McApple), 2018

Marriage & Personal Development Author

Chasing girls…

Chasing a lady is a very a nice feeling…until she gets pregnant for you when you both are not ready! Then all your youthful adrenalin will be channeled into weightier matters by force; matters like facing yourselves, facing your families, facing the church, facing societal judgments, facing the economy (especially if you’re not financially sound).

Everything changes from then on. I bet the same sweetness “down south” you were chasing and couldn’t resist before she got pregnant, if now they open it for you freely to “have your way”, you won’t even have the energy or mental fortitude to perform as the “Pro” that you are known to be.

Good news is, you sure may survive all that comes with it in the end, but because you have not planned for it, it surely will drain you too. A pregnancy scare or surprise outside of marriage can surely drain life itself out of just anybody…it can be a very tough emotional feeling.

Growing up as a boy, a seemingly funny story was used to “educate” some of us on the subject of chasing girls. The story is told of a young girl who got pregnant and didn’t know the boy who was responsible. There were a lot of guys that apparently “serviced” her. Her very strict father matched her from guy to guy with a spoon in hand. Any of the guys who denied being the one responsible for her pregnancy was given the spoon to fetch out their portion of the semen they deposited in her. If you can’t, you know what awaits you. 😊

I guess it’s always fun…until somebody get hurt, huh?

©Mark Gadogbe (McApple), 2018