Marriage on a mission

Is your marriage on a mission? Ours is! We believe God has a mission for every marriage. He has a mental picture of how He wants every marriage to turn out.

Part of our marriage mission is:

“Our God wants from us a compellingly attractive marriage that turns people’s head and makes them want to know how much more beautiful God’s love for mankind is”

A lot of people have criticized us many times on how our open or public demonstration of love makes them uncomfortable and how immature it makes us. However, as often as we can, we try to remind ourselves of that ultimate call on our marriage so we can exert ourselves the best ways we can in accomplishing that calling or mission. And we evaluate our marriage and relationship often in light of that so we identify areas where more works needs to be done. At least when God was putting us together He didn’t say we were too immature so we’ve learned to ward off a lot of criticism.

Got a marriage/relationship mission you commit to? Or you are just living through the motion?

A great marriage requires a lifetime’s worth of dedicated work and having a marriage mission is like a shared goal that builds teamwork and the bonds of the marriage thereof.

We believe that in God’s mind, marriage is a tool for evangelism because the love we demonstrate in marriage reflects God’s love for all humankind. How we treat our spouses must reflect or mirror God; our love for our spouses must show in ways that make people around us take notice. John 13:35 says “By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another”.

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I once wrote a post where I advocated that we celebrate openly our marital blessings because it is through doing that people can see what the glory of God in marriage looks like. It’s just like in Matthew 7:16-17, people will only know your fruits if they can see it. If they don’t see the flowers of a plant in beautiful display they can’t be attracted to it and can’t glorify it. Similarly, people will never know about the goodness of God unless we make them see it some way or the other.

Christian marriages can do that and Christians might want to begin to see their marriages as effective tools for evangelism. Like it is said in Romans 10:14, “How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them?” See? Evidence-based! And the evidences are in the daily blessings poured out on our marriages that we are always tempted to hide.

There are however people who do not believe in making a public spectacle of their marriages, kids, blessings, etc for some very good personal reasons. Many others also believe that the more they “glorify” their marriage or blessings, the more they expose their marriage or relationship to the radar of Satan and evil people so they are better off hiding in some corner. Well, if the motive is good, stick to it.

However, fear only begets more fear and you will never be able to overcome your fears while still living in fear. The fear of Satan and his many evil works will only make him have more control over you and eventually cripple your public testimony of God’s goodness. And that’s always the goal of the enemy.

Someone once wrote:

“If all we who call ourselves Christians loved our spouses in a deep, real, vibrant and obvious way, imagine what it would do to the world. Imagine if it were undeniable that those who follow Jesus are more in love, more happily married, more sexually satisfied, and just had better marriages all around. In a world full of divorce and troubled marriages, such a public testimony would show people that faith in Jesus is more than just a claim”

Think about it!

Cheers!

 

© Mark Gadogbe (McApple), 2017

Marriage & Personal Development Author

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The rare gift of Critics

Apparently someone wasn’t very comfortable with my exploits on Facebook and especially about the fact that a lot of my updates are centered on relationship/marriage as if I knew it all tried to chastise me. But when I started my response thus: when my parents’ marriage of God knows how many years hit the rocks and threw our lives into a bit of misery, some of the scars still visible, and eventually my mother passed on, ….” the person stopped me from going on and said its okay. I didn’t know why and I didn’t have to ask why. But I wasn’t surprised because I know many share similar sentiments but just haven’t found the courage to express it in my face. Some who will not say it directly turn to be sarcastic with their remarks as if to suggest that I am too young to speak of that which those with years of practical experience are quiet about.

I guess that makes it true what I heard a certain man say recently that “older couples in terms of the length of marriage are wiser than younger couples”. I do not seek to dispute that though I could, putting it in a much broader perspective. But I believe young or old, we have our own wisdom which God confers on us; our wisdom is unique to us as long as we all have very different experiences of life. Let no man resent us then and rob us of who we are. We have been through things bigger than what people have been through and we have been through things smaller than what others have experienced but all in all, that is what defines us.

Maybe this is when we should take a cue from Timothy’s admonishment in 1 Timothy 4:12 (NIV) thus:

Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, …”

We cannot all build the same model of marriage; we only need a reflection of Christ in our models. Christian or not, our Christian lives are different and all Christian marriages are different too. Even in the life of two Christians, the exhibition of the character of Christ in their personal lives and marital practice will still vary. The idealists will say that every Christian marriage should look exactly the same in practice; well, that’s why they are idealists: being guided more by ideals than what’s practical.

Oh, guess I’m deviating huh? Well, I believe if my beloved critic had not cut short my response, I would have completed it with the words of Sheila Wray Gregoire thus:

Blogging about marriage really does make you more intentional about your own marriage

Perfect! The more I put out those updates, posts and thoughts, the more I would be made to see my life and marriage in the light of those words. See now how those unlimited updates benefit me too? Haha! Yes, I have loads of reasons why I do what I do and that just happens to b one perfect reason, my dear critic.

Oh, don’t we ever stop doing what God by inspiration lays on our hearts to do; you may never know whose life you are imparting. Just one testimony here: I have had people older than me and longer in marriage than me seek my counsel/views on certain issues.

Anyways, God just whispered into my spirit that to even have critics means people are reading and watching at a distance. So still thank God in whatever you do for the rare gift of critics.

Indeed, people are watching our marriages and love lives…let’s let them see heaven in it. We may be their only source of inspiration; their only hope that marriage can be beautiful and that marriage works!

Mark Gadogbe (McApple)